Anthu ambiri amadzifunsa funso la momwe angachotsere vuto la maganizo pambuyo pa chisudzulo. Palibe mabungwe amdziko lonse ndipo sangathe, koma pali njira zina zomwe muyenera kuzidziwa.
Pali chinthu chonga kusintha kwa moyo pambuyo pa chisudzulo. Kusinthasintha kwathunthu kumatenga zaka ziwiri mpaka zinayi. Panthawi imeneyi silingalimbikitsenso kubwezeretsa banja, kupanga zosankha zofunika pa moyo waumwini. Nzeru yodziwika bwino "chiguduli chokwera" imagwira ntchito mu nkhaniyi kawirikawiri. Pambuyo pa zonse, poyamba, muyenera kuchotsa vuto la maganizo lomwe limakhalapo pambuyo pa chisudzulo chilichonse. Kusiyanitsa kungangopangidwa ndi maukwati okhaokha, omwe amathera patangopita milungu ingapo kapena miyezi ingapo pambuyo paukwati. Ngati mwakhala m'banja zaka zingapo, ndizomveka kuganiza kuti simudzakhala ndi nkhawa kwa nthawi ndithu. Nthawiyi ikhoza kuchepetsedwa mwa kugwira ntchito mwakhama ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo pa vuto kapena kudzipangira yekha maphunziro a moyo wa banja. Ndipo komabe tidzakanenedwa kuti: anthu ambiri akuchokera kuvuto lomwe limagwirizanitsa ndi chisudzulo, padera.
Akatswiri a maganizo ndi akatswiri oganiza bwino a maganizo amasiyanitsa magawo osiyanasiyana a kusintha kwa moyo pambuyo pa chisudzulo, koma onse amatha kukhala amodzi: Gawo lomveka kwambiri la nthawi yotsatiridwa limapezeka masabata awiri oyambirira. Ndi nthawi yomwe anthu amaletsa kudya, kulankhulana ndi abwenzi, kudziyang'anira okha. Masiku oyambirira pambuyo pa chisudzulo, ambiri amamva kuwonongeka kwa thanzi, malaise, ndipo nthawi zina anthu amayamba kuganiza za kudzipha. Ndipo izi sizikukhudza akazi okha, komanso kwa amuna.
Inde, gawo loyambirira, lovuta kwambiri la kusokonezeka maganizo pambuyo pa imfa limayenera kupatsidwa chidwi chapadera. Pambuyo pake, kungakhale kwanzeru kuti musapirire vutoli ndikudzipangira nokha kapena tsogolo lanu losalephereka. Panthawi imeneyi, anthu amamva kuti adula mkono kapena mwendo. Imeneyi ndi nthawi ya ululu wowawa komanso zowawa. Munthu wina yemwe kwa zaka zambiri anali wachibale wapafupi, kapena mwinamwake bwenzi, mwadzidzidzi amatha msinkhu. Ndipo munda umenewo wogwiritsira ntchito mphamvu ndi ntchito, zomwe zinalipo kale, sizinakwaniritsidwebe.
Gawoli likukula mofanana kwambiri ndi omwe adasudzulana okha, komanso omwe adakakamizika kuchoka potsata chifuniro chawo.
Pali mfundo zingapo zofunika kuti anthu onse omwe amatha kusudzulana kapena asudzulane ayenera kudziwa. Mfundo izi zimatiuza momwe tingachotsere vuto la maganizo pambuyo pa chisudzulo.
Choyamba, peĊµani kulankhulana ndi mnzanuyo. Ambiri m'nthawi ino zikuwoneka kuti analakwitsa kwambiri, ndipo amayesa kusudzulana kachiwiri kukakumana ndi akale. Ichi ndi kusuntha kolakwika, chifukwa kumangowonjezera kupweteka kwa phokoso. Malo ena amalingaliro kapena malo amtunduwu pambuyo pa chisudzulo ndi gwero la machiritso a psyche ndi machiritso ku zilonda zapakati.
Chachiwiri, kuyankhulana ndi abwenzi kumathandiza ndi kuvutika maganizo. Nthawi zina timakhala tikuiwala tokha chifukwa cha mavuto a m'banja lathu. Kusudzulana sikumangopweteka kwambiri, komanso ndi mwayi wodzisamalira nokha. Mwambo wokumbukira zakale zomwe mumakonda kuchita ndi zosangalatsa, kuti mubwezeretse ubale ndi anzanu akale, kuti mupeze anzanu atsopano.
Chachitatu, yesani kuyang'anira thupi lanu ndi thupi lanu. Musathamangitse maonekedwe anu, musamanama kwa masiku ambiri pabedi. Lowani masewera, pitani ku salon yokongola. Kupsinjika maganizo ndiko njira yabwino yothetsera vutoli pambuyo pa kusudzulana.
Ndipo, potsiriza, chachinayi, musayese kuthetsa kuzunzika. Thirani zolakwika zonse kudzera mu kulira, kulumbira, kukambirana za mavuto ndi abwenzi ndi abwenzi. Ndipo ngati pali zopanda pake, zomwe zimachitika kawirikawiri, ayambitseni diary kapena kuyang'ana anzanu atsopano pamabuku. Zokhumudwitsidwa posachedwa zidzatulukamo, koma pamene zili mkati, zidzapitiriza ntchito yawo yoononga. Kotero mukamayankhula mokwanira, mofulumira mudzachira.
Pambuyo pa miyezi yoyamba mutatha kusudzulana, mudzafunika kupita kumalo osungirako, pamene simungathe kukambirana momveka bwino za mkazi wakale. Komanso, magawo onse a kuchotsa vuto la maganizo, zomwe zidzatsatirako otsala ndi theka kwa zaka ziwiri, zimakhudzidwa ndi kumverera kwakumva. Mudzayamba kuona zatsopano, mudzakhala ndi mwayi watsopano. Ndipo patapita kanthawi mudzazindikira kuti ngati panalibe kusudzulana, moyo sudzakutsogolerani ku zabwino. Ndipotu, kusudzulana sikuchitika kawirikawiri m'mabanja abwino. Ndipo ngakhale amphamvu ndi ochezeka, poyamba, mabanja atatha kusokonezeka amawoneka ndi okwatirana kale osasangalala. Mulimonsemo, nkofunika kukumbukira kuti kusudzulana ndi vuto. Ndipo vuto liri lonse ndi nthawi yosintha, pamene mupanga sitepe kapena kutsogolo. Ndipo kokha pa inu kumadalira momwe mudzasangalale tsogolo lanu mutatha chisudzulo.