Sitiyenera kukwatiwa chifukwa cha munthu amene mumamukonda, koma kwa yemwe amakukondani, "akutero nzeru zachikazi zakale. Zimakhulupilira kuti pazimenezi, aliyense adzakhala wosangalala: Mkazi - yemwe angathe kupotoza mwamuna wake, monga momwe akufunira, ndipo i_kuti chinthu chopembedza chiri pafupi naye nthawi zonse. Koma kodi banja lotero lidzakhala logwirizana komanso losangalala? Ndi momwe mungadzifunire nokha chomwe chili chofunika kwambiri - kukonda kapena kukondedwa?
ZINTHU NDI ZINTHU
Pamaso pa atsikana, makamaka palibe amene adafunsa ngati amakonda amsinkhu omwe amawakonda kapena ayi, panthawi imeneyo anali okhudzidwa kwambiri ndi enawo. Mwachitsanzo, ndi ng'ombe zingati, nkhumba, zifuwa ndi ndalama (mkwati anali ndi chidwi chofanana ndi mkwatibwi). Tsopano, ndithudi, si zachilendo pamene akwatiwa ndi zifuwa za ndalama (ng'ombe sizikufunanso aliyense), koma izi ndizosiyana. Lero tikukamba za ena, zomwe zili zofunika kwambiri - ndi zokwanira za chikondi chosagonjetsedwa (pamene wina akonda, ndipo winayo amadzilolera kukonda, pamene wina ampsyopsyona ndipo wina amangotaya tsaya) kuti akwatirane. Tiyeni tiyang'ane pa ubwino ndi mantha a mgwirizano woterowo.
Kodi tchimo ndi liti kuti tisazibise, ife akazi timakondwera kwambiri pamene tikudziwa kuti pali wina amene amatikonda. Ndipo ngakhale ngati uyu alibe chidwi kwathunthu, akadakondweretsa - kudzidalira kukukwera! Zili choncho kuti simungakhalebe kanthu, ngakhale mapaundi angapo, chikhalidwe chodandaula komanso mwachiwonekere osati mawonekedwe a photomodel. Kukhalapo kwa Knight, ngakhale wamaluwa, mafuta ndi achikulire, kumakhala m'nyumba yamtundu ndi amayi ake, koma mwachikondi mu chikondi ndi kukonzekera kukwaniritsa chilakolako chilichonse, chikhumbo chirichonse, chimakupangitsani kumva ngati Mkazi Wabwino. Amapatsa maluwa, amatsogolera kumaseŵera, ndi nthawi zina - ngati ali ndi mwayi - ndipo amapereka ndakatulo. Iye ali payitanidwe yoyamba ndipo amayang'ana pa inu ndi maso okhulupirika, osayitanitsa kanthu kubwerera. Chabwino, ndiuzeni, ndani sangakonde? Kotero ife timasankha moyenera izo kwa okhulupilika ndi achikondi otero kuti asachimwe ndi pansi pa korona kuti apite - mulole izo zikhale mmanja mwake mpaka kupuma pantchito kumavala (kupatula ngati, ndithudi, izo sizikusweka). Koma, zachilendo zomwe zingawoneke poyamba, zonse zomwe zimakondwera ndi osankhidwa asanakwatirane, pakapita nthawi amayamba kukwiyitsa. Ndipo kupindulako kumakhala pang'onopang'ono.
Ndaphunzira kuchokera ku zomwe ndapeza ndikulolera kukonda popanda kubwezeretsa ndikuzunza. Takhala ndikukhala ndi mwamuna wanga zaka zisanu ndi ziwiri tsopano, tili ndi ana awiri, zonse zimawoneka zodabwitsa. Koma sindinamvepo chifukwa chachisoni chenicheni - chifundo chokha. Pamene ali kale, ndipo tsopano akupsa mtima, pamene timagawana ngakhale theka la tsiku, amandisamalira, monga mwana wamng'ono, amalankhula mawu ambiri achikondi. Anzanga aakazi amandiuza kuti ndine wopenga ndipo sindikumvetsa chimwemwe changa, ndipo amandichitira nsanje chifukwa samasamala "theka" lawo ndikupita kumanzere, ndipo ena mwa iwo akhoza kukweza dzanja lawo. Ndipo wanga, kuchokera kumbali yomwe iwe umawoneka, zonse ziri zabwino kwambiri kuti ndi chitsanzo chokha. Ndicho chifukwa chake zimapweteka! Ndikumva kuti akuyenera kwambiri - chikondi chenicheni, koma ayi chifukwa cha chikondi!
Ndipo mu zofanana zomwezo sizikuwonekeratu kuti ndani ayenera kuchitiridwa chifundo: mwamuna kapena mkazi. Chinthu chimodzi chikuwonekera-ndikofunikira kwa onse. Mkazi amazindikira kuti ndi kofunika kuti iye azikondedwa, koma amamuchitira iye ngati wogula, ndipo izi zimamupangitsa kudzimva kuti ndi wolakwa pamaso pa mwamuna wake, zomwe, mwachidziwitso, zingayambitsenso vuto lalikulu. Mwamuna wa khungu amakwera, kuyesera kuti alandire chikondi cha wosankhidwa wake, koma mobwerezabwereza amalandira "wothokoza" chabe wosadziwika m'malo mwa chikhumbo chokhumba. Uku ndiko kuponderezedwa kwake, ndipo pang'onopang'ono chikondi chake chimachotsedwa ndi kukulira tsiku ndi tsiku kukwiyitsa ndi chiwawa kwa wokondedwayo: "Ndimachita zonse kuti ndimusangalatse, koma iye sakwanira! Ndi chiyaninso chomwe akusowa? "Choncho, m'mabanja oterowo, zida zowonjezereka, mikangano, kusagwirizana komanso kutopa ndizosapeweka.
STEPPITSYA - WOTSATIRA?
Malinga ndi akatswiri a maganizo, "kukondana" sikungatheke. Ndipo mochuluka, zimachitika nthawi zambiri. Nthawi zambiri zochitika zimakhala pansi pa zochitika zina. Nthawi zina (zovuta), kusagwirizana kumayambitsa chidani kwa wina ndi mzake. Ndipo kukhala ndi munthu yemwe akukutembenuzani sikovuta. Pachifukwa china, pamapeto pake onse awiri akugwirizana ndi mfundo yakuti sangathe kukondana wina ndi mzake, ndipo amayesa kupanga ubwenzi ngakhale paubwenzi. Izi zikufanana ndi mgwirizano pakati pa anthu awiri oganiza bwino omwe adasankha kuti zofuna za ana ndizoyamba, choncho palibe chotsutsana nacho. Mwina, pakadali pano, ana samamva chisoni kwambiri pamene amathetsa banja (ngakhale kuti ndilo funso lalikulu, chifukwa mwana akhoza kutsanzira chitsanzo cha ubale wawo pa moyo wake wachikulire), koma kodi mungatchule kuti banja logwirizana ndi losangalala?
Kuwonjezera - kumbukirani Freud - musaiwale za kugonana, chigawo chofunikira cha banja losangalala. M'mabanja omwe okondedwa amakondana, sizikutanthauza kuti ubwenzi wapamtima sungaloledwe kapena wosavomerezeka. Ndipo ngati wina m'banja akonda, ndi wina-ayi, motero, ndipo funso "kusintha kapena kusintha" lasinthidwa mosavuta. Mkazi amene amakhala ndi mwamuna wosakondedwa akhoza kukondana ndi wina ndidzidzidzi ndikutsogolera moyo wapawiri kwa zaka zambiri. Phunzitsani ana ndikupita kukagula limodzi ndi theka lawo lalamulo, ndi kukonda ndi kulota pazinthu zina. Inde, ndipo mwamuna, atatopa ndi kuyang'ana koleza ndi chifundo kuchokera kwa mkazi wake, akhoza kupita kumbali, kuyesera kudzitonthoza yekha mmanja a kukongola koyamba. Ndipo ngati poyamba zikuwoneka ngati zowonongeka - ndipo mimbulu idzaza, ndipo nkhosa ziri zotetezeka, - ndiye pakubwera kumvetsa kuti magawo awiri a chimwemwe sangathe kuwombedwa. Kuwonjezera apo - mgwirizano sungapezeke kaya kumbali kapena m'banja. Ndipotu, ngakhale kuti magawo awiri ali ndi arithmetically ndipo amapereka kwathunthu, ndalama zimaphatikizapo malamulo ake. Ndipo, malinga ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo, munthu akhoza kuthera moyo wake pakati pa zolakalaka zofunikirako ndi zofunikira kwambiri, akuvutika ndi umunthu wake. Mpaka potsiriza amadziwa chimene akufuna, ndipo sangachite bwino.
SUMMARY
Chifukwa chake, chombo cha "agogo" cha banja losangalala - kulola kudzikonda, ndi kusadzikonda nokha - sikungatheke. Ngati simukukonda, ndiye kuti mumadzipangira choyamba. Ndiponsotu, chikondi ndipadera kwambiri, zomwe zimatha kutembenuza mkazi aliyense woipa kukhala wokongola kwambiri popanda kuthandizidwa ndi okongola ndi ojambula. Pokhala ndi chikondi mwachidwi, munthu amapeza mphamvu zoposa: zonse zimatsutsana, zonse zimagwira ntchito. Ndipo anthu oyandikana nawo amayamba kumuchitira chifundo, popeza zozizwitsa zabwino zimachokera kwa mwamuna wachikondi. Pambuyo pa zonse, E.Choyenera kunena kuti iye, "amene amakonda munthu mmodzi, amakonda dziko lonse lapansi."
Ndipo musanapereke dzanja lanu (za mtima wamtendere) kwa munthu wosakondedwa, ndizofunikira nthawi zambiri kuganiza ndi kuyeza zabwino zonse. Ngakhale ngati msinkhu uli pazitsulo, ndipo amayi anga akukuuzani kuti: "Musaphonye, uwu ndiwo mwayi wanu wotsiriza", mwinamwake ndibwino kuyembekezera mpaka kumverera kwenikweni kumabwera ndipo muzindikira kuti ndikofunika kukonda kapena kukondedwa ndi digiri yomweyo. Zoonadi, chikondi chenichenso palokha sichingatsimikizire ubale wamphamvu wa banja, koma, mukuona, ichi ndi chinachake. Awa ndiye maziko. Koma chimene mumangapo, chidzadalira pa inu awiri okha.