Mutu wa nkhani yathu lero ndi "Chigololo, kufunika kwa lero."
Chinyengo ndi chimene amayi a ana aakazi amenyedwa nacho, ndipo abambo ndi ana, chinachake chimene mabanja onse amawopa kudzanjenjemera pamabondo awo, ngakhale kuti masewerowa ndi olimbika mtima, sadzawachitikira, ali ndi chikondi chachikulu, choyera komanso chosadetsedwa. Kapena amawaponyera mapewa ndi kuwaponya mopanda kanthu, ndi zabwino, zimachitika. Koma iwo akuwopa. Zina zonse. Nkhanza ndizo zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano ya m'banja, kupita kwa akatswiri a maganizo ndi a psychoanalysts, ndipo pamapeto pake kukhoti la chisudzulo. Nthawi yomweyo dziwani kuti kuti pali zowononga, kunali koyenera kusintha zinthu. Izi zikutanthauza kuti, pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ayenera kukhala ndi ubale weniweni, kukhala ukwati kapena boma, ukwati wa tchalitchi, kapena ntchito yotseguka kwa anthu kuti ndinu okwatirana ndipo tsopano ndinu awiri.
Chigololo, kufunika kwa lero ... Pazinthu zambiri zanenedwa, choonadi chakhala chikudziwika kale, koma ambiri sakhalabe m'banja lokhulupirika kwa wina ndi mzake.
Chigololo ndi chimodzi mwa mayesero ovuta kwambiri kwa banja, ziribe kanthu kuti zakhala zotalika bwanji. Izi ndizomwe zili maziko, mu maziko. Kusokonezeka kwakukulu kwa onse awiri, zimakhala zovuta kudziwa kuti ndi awiri ati omwe akukumana ndi vutoli. Chinyengo ndi chinyengo. Nchiyani chomwe chinaperekedwa kwenikweni? Munthu wobadwa, mfundo zake kapena maloto ake a banja lolimba ndi losangalala, kapena mwinamwake mwiniwake? Njira yachiwiri imakhala yovuta kwambiri pamaganizo. Moyo ukuyenda, chirichonse chikusintha, anthu, ngakhale oyandikira kwambiri, koma kugulitsidwa kwa mkati kumakhalabe.
Kwa amayi, chinyengo ndi choopsa kwambiri moti iwo ali okonzeka kuchita chilichonse kuti apewe kapena ngakhale kuchepetsa ululu. Ambiri amathamanga kwambiri ndipo asanakwatirane amavomereza kuti: "Mutha kusintha ine, koma ndikudziwa za izo." Onetsetsani kuti kupweteka kwa izi sikudzakhala kochepa, ndipo ulendo wopita kumanzere udzachitika ndithu.
Ngati chikhulupiliro chaukwati chidafotokozedweratu, chiopsezo chachinyengo chichepa. Kukambirana pa mutu wakuti: "Sitidzapulumuka kusakhulupirika, tidzasiya nthawi yomweyo." Zimapangitsa okwatirana kuganizira kuti ali okwera mtengo ndipo ali okonzeka kutayika chifukwa cha changu chochepa, "kugonana basi" kapena "mwinamwake kutha." Izi ziyenera kufotokozedwa mwamsanga kuti kusakhulupirika kudzakhala chiwonongeko cha ubale wanu. Sizowopsa kuti pakati pa anthu akale kunali chizoloŵezi chopha anthu osakhulupirika. Mwa zochita zawo, amasonyeza bwino momwe amachitira ndi mnzawo, pambali, sangathe kudalira.
Izi ziyenera kumveka bwino kuti ngati mgwirizano wa mgwirizanowu ndiwumene umalamulira chikondi, ndiye kuti ngakhale kulingalira za kupeza zochitika sizikuwuka. Bwanji, ngati alipo kale wokondedwa, wobadwa naye amene mumamudziwa ndi kumukonda, yemwe ndi wabwino, womasuka komanso wotetezeka. Anthu ambiri amanena kuti alibe vuto lalikulu, amafuna kuti asokoneze mitsempha. Choncho, sizingatheke kuti muyende pamabedi a anthu ena! Mukhoza kuyenda ndi mnzanu wapamtima, kupita kumapiri kwa sabata imodzi kapena kupita nawo masewera oopsa. Ngati muthamanga pamodzi pansi pa nyanja kapena muthamanga ndi parachute, adrenaline imakhalanso nemeryano ndi chisangalalo kangapo.
Ngati kusakhulupirika kwachitika, ndiyenera kuchita chiyani? Choyamba, mukumva ululu ndi maganizo. Ndiye adzafunika kutayidwa ndi kusamala (monga momwe zingathere) kuti aganizire. Ngati kuchokera kwa inu kupita kwa munthu wina, sizinali kuchokera ku moyo wabwino. Kotero, wokondedwayo akusowa chinachake mwa inu komanso pachibwenzi. Chifukwa chake sayenera kufunafuna ndani yemwe "wasiya", koma mwa ndani, kuchokera kwa yani. Mwamsanga pamene kumvetsetsa kubwera, padzakhala mkwiyo, ululu wa kuvutika kudzatha, padzakhala mpata wokonza chirichonse.
Apa pakubwera funso lotsatira: kodi ndilofunika kuti likonze? Kodi ndingakhululukire? Yankho lokhalo lokha, lokha lokha silo. Mvetserani kwa mtima wanu, ndiye mlangizi wokhulupirika kwambiri. Ngati mungathe kupitiriza kukhala ndi munthu uyu, kondwerani tsiku liri lonse pafupi ndi iye, kudzipereka yekha kwa iye ndi kudalira, ndiye, ndithudi, ndibwino kuyesa kusunga ubalewu. Ngati kusakhulupirika kudzapweteketsa moyo nthawi zonse, chidani chidzabisika kwambiri, kudzikayikira kudzakhala kozoloŵera, ndibwino kungochoka ndikuyamba zonse kuyambira pachiyambi, osaiwala ululu wammbuyo, koma kukumbukira zolakwitsa bwino.
Kusintha, munthu amakana yemwe amamukonda komanso yemwe amamukonda. Chikondi sichikhoza kusintha, chifukwa ndi chinthu chabwino kwambiri pamoyo wathu. Iye yekha amapulumuka mu zovuta zonse ndi masoka a dziko lachivundi. Kukana izo n'chimodzimodzi ndi kudzipha. Pambuyo pachitayi chowopsya chotsiriza ndikutaya mtima kwakuda. Ndipo kumene kuli chikondi, mdima ndi kukhumudwa kwa nthawi yaitali sizikhalapo. Kusiya chikondi kumakhala ngati kusiya moyo. Kodi timadzipeza pati, tidzatani?
Mawu okweza, mumati, nthawi zambiri amuna amasiya akazi, amasankha ena, amayi amapereka kwathunthu osati kwa omwe amatchedwa okondedwa. Izi kuvina ndi kusintha kwa mabwenzi akhalapo nthawi zonse ndipo adzapitirizabe ngati dziko lidayima ndipo anthu akukhala.
Koma kodi ndikunyoza? Ayi, amadzipereka ngati alibe chikondi. Palibenso wokondedwa kapena wokondedwa, kotero palibe wina woti apereke. Chigoba chokha cha munthu amene adalota nawo ndikumagawana kwamuyaya. Tsopano palibe (moyo wathetsedwa, zinthu zasintha), ndipo palibe chifukwa chokwanira ngongole. Lolani kupita, moyo ndi munthu amene simumasowa, udzakhala gehena wanu.