Mpaka posachedwa, mawu akuti "matchmaker" adangogwirizanitsidwa ndi comedi yosakhoza kufa ya Gogol "Ukwati". M'nthawi ino, pamene okonda amaika achibale patsogolo pa kulenga banja, machemaker ndi atavism. Kotero, mawonekedwe a izi mwa munthu wa katswiri wamaganizo wodziwika bwino Rosa Syabitova adayambitsa zowonongeka. Poyamba. Chifukwa chosowa mautumiki oterewa chakhala chikuwonetsedweratu ndi zovuta zomwe zinachitikira abambo ambiri omwe apitiliza chikondi chawo ndi chisudzulo mwadzidzidzi. Kodi mkwatibwi ayenera kukumbukira chiyani msika waukwati? Kodi chiyenera kuchitanji kuti adziwe ntchito ya mkaziyo? Kodi chinsinsi cha banja losangalala n'chiyani? Pazinthu izi ndi zina zambiri amauza katswiri wochita masewero otchuka a Rosa Syabitova - wofalitsa wotchuka wa TV pa mapulogalamu "Tiyeni tikwatirane" ndi "Kudziwa makolo anu."
Kodi Rose Raifovna Syabitova anali mkwatibwi wotani?
- Choyambirira, cholingalira, monga atsikana ambiri. Agogo anga aakazi anandiphunzitsa sayansi yokhala mkazi. Malingaliro ambiri a ndalama za moyo wake ndikugawana ndi akwatibwi amakono. Mkwatibwi wamng'ono kapena mkazi wake sangakhale ndi zolakwika. Chifukwa cha iwo timapeza mwayi wapadera. Koma ndikofunikira kuti pali munthu wanzeru pafupi ndi iye amene anganene chiganizo chokha chokha. Mphunzitsi wanga anali agogo anga. Ngati panali mikangano ndi mwamuna wake, ndinathamangira kwa iye. "Mwamuna ndiye wamkulu, ana ndi achiwiri," adatero, pamene ndinadandaula kuti anali wovuta kwambiri ndi iwo. - Padzakhala palibe mwamuna, sipadzakhalanso ana anu. Aloleni awaphunzitse moganiza, musatsutsane naye. Ayenera kudziwa kuti ndinu gulu limodzi. Ndiyeno, khalani mwanayo. Fotokozani kuti ndi kofunika kwambiri, ndipo bambo amawaphunzitsa kuti aziteteza ku zolakwa zambiri m'tsogolomu. "
Pozindikira kuti apongozi anga ankandikonda, ndinaphunzira mapangano a agogo aakazi ndipo ndinali mkazi wabwino. Ndili ndi mwamuna woyamba, ndinakhala zaka 13, mpaka imfa yake. Agogo aakazi nthawi zambiri amanena kuti: "Kukwatirana ndi kupita kumsika. Pamene mukuyenda - kusankha, kukhudza, kuluma, kugwirizana. Ndipo momwe mungakwatirane, "idyani", zomwe iye anagula. " Zimatanthauza: pamene iwe ndiwe mkwatibwi, sankhani. Ndipo ine ndinakwatira - kwa moyo wanga wonse. Mwamuna amakhulupirira mwa inu ndipo akuyembekeza kuti mudzasunga malo ake, ziribe kanthu momwe mungakhalire ovuta, ndipo mudzathana ndi ntchito yovuta - mkazi wabwino. Pano ndi kulumikizana nazo, ndipo musathamangire kuvutika koyamba kuti mupereke chisudzulo.
Pa lingaliro la kulenga bungwe lakwati
- Lingaliro loti ndizigwira ntchito monga matchmaker ndinapatsidwa kwa ine ndi mwana wazaka zisanu ndi chimodzi. Atangoti: "Amayi! Sikoyenera kukhala ndekha. " Kotero ndinaganiza zopeza bambo wabwino kwa ana anga. Iye adapempha mnzanga kuti andiuze ine abwenzi ake omwe ali achichepere kapena amasiye. Ndipo iye anakonza bungwe laling'ono, pomwe ine ndinakomana ndi amuna okondweretsa. Mmodzi wa iwo anaganiza ngakhale kumanga ubale weniweni. Ndiyeno ndinazindikira kuti muyenera kukwatira nokha. Mwana wokondwa akhoza kukhala ndi mayi wokondwa. Inu simungakhoze kuyenda pansi pa korona ndi chokhumba chimodzi chokha, kotero kuti ana ali ndi bambo. Ali nawo kale, ngakhale akumbukira. Inde, kukhala popanda chikondi kumakhala kosayenera. Koma ndimakonda lingaliro la matchmaking. Ndi pamene, zaka 15 zapitazo, ndinayamba ntchito yanga ngati matchmaker. Ndipo kunali ndi chithandizo cha matchmaking kuti ndinapeza chikondi changa.
Ndikovuta kupeza mwamuna wabwino pamaso pa mwana
- Mayi ndi ana amavutika kwambiri kupeza mwamuna. Munthu aliyense, ndimatsindika - aliyense - safuna mavuto ena m'banja. Mkwatibwi wabwino kwambiri ndi mkazi wamng'ono, wokongola, wabwino kwambiri ndipo, ndithudi, alibe kale. Mwamuna ndi wokonda kudzikonda, ndipo izi ndi zachilendo. Ngati pali chisankho pakati pa mayi yemwe ali ndi mwana komanso wosungulumwa, angasankhe wophunzirayo. Pambuyo pake, iye amupatsa nthawi yake yonse yaulere kwa iye, ndiyeno kwa ana ake. Sadzafuna kugawa cholowa chake pamodzi ndi ana kuchokera kwa munthu wina. Mkazi "wokhala ndi ngolo" ayenera kukhala okonzekera kuti mavuto adzakhala, kumbali zonse ziwiri: onse ana ndi mwamuna watsopano. Ayeneranso kuyamikira kuti anamutenga ndi ana. Koma musapitirire, kugwadira kwa mkazi nthawi zonse pamapazi. Anapanganso kusankha kwake, kumutenga kukhala mkazi ndi kutenga udindo kwa ana. Simungapemphe munthu kuti aziwakonda. Zokwanira kuzilemekeza, ndipo ndizo zake. Kotero iwo omwe ali mu mkhalidwewu adzayenera kuyesetsa kwambiri kuti akwatirenso kachiwiri: konzekerani zovutazo ndi kukhala oleza mtima.
Kodi ndi mfundo yotani yokambirana ndi udindo wa akatswiri ochita masewera olimbitsa thupi mu lingaliro la Rosa Syabitova
- Poyamba, cholinga chachikulu cha matchmaking chinali ukwati monga mawonekedwe a ukwati. Izi ziri, kukwaniritsidwa kwa mwambo wa kulembedwa kwa mpingo kwaukwati wa mwamuna ndi mkazi. M'masiku akale, ochita masewerawa amachititsa mgwirizano pakati pa makolo, ndipo anawo adakumana ndi chowonadi. Wojambula wamakono wamakono amayenera kukambirana ndi mkwati ndi mkwatibwi. Koma pambuyo pa zonse, pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ayenera kuthamanga kukonda chikondi, ndiko kuti, kuwonetsera maonekedwe awo achilengedwe a kukopa kwa kugonana, omwe sangathe kuwonekera. N'zosatheka kuvomereza ndi chirengedwe, chiri ndi malamulo ake omwe. Wokonza masewera angaphunzitse momwe mungapezere wokondedwa woyenera. Choncho - chidziwitso. Akazi okwatiwa amafuna mkwati, ndipo mkwati sakufuna okwatiranawo. Nthaŵi zonse ndimauza makasitomala anga kuti: "Atsikana, sindimangodzinso amuna, sindine zombie. Ndikhoza kungopanga zidziwitso, ndikuphunzitsa zomwe ziyenera kuchitika kuti akope mwamuna komanso momwe angakhalire ndi ubale ndi iye. " Koma madona achichepere okha safuna chirichonse! Awapatseni okonzekera! Zotsatira zake, pali kusamvetsetsana, zodandaula, zomwe zimatchedwa matchmaker. Mwamwayi ndi kutsegula kusukulu kwathu zinthu zinayamba kusintha. Akazi ambiri, atatha kudutsa, mwamsanga mwamsanga anakwatira. Ndipo atsikanawo, akuyang'ana pa iwo, amadzikweza okha. Zotsatira - kusintha kwa moyo wanu waumwini kwabwino.
Kodi ndiyenera kufunsa mafunso osakondera: "Kodi mungapereke chiyani kwa mkwatibwi?", "Iwe ndiwe gawo lopukuta, iwe ulibe mbali yako" ndipo ngati awa nthawi zina amalepheretsa alendo ambiri. Kodi ndiyenera kuwerengera ndalama za anthu ena?
- Ndine wowonetseratu, choncho ndikuyenera kutsatira izi. Mwa njira, mafotokozedwe a ntchito kwa a matchmaker analembedwa kale. Palibe ku Russia komwe kunayambika popanda njira yopanga masewera. Phwando la mkwati linawonetsera zina mwa zabwino zake: luso lochita zinthu pagulu, kulemekeza mkwatibwi ndi makolo ake. Otsatirawa amayesetsa kuti aliyense asanene kuti "katunduyo ndi woonda" kapena mkwatibwi sanagonjere. Iwo amayesa mwanjira iliyonse kusonyeza kuti banja la mkwatibwi ndi losatetezeka kwambiri kuposa banja la mkwati, ndipo ukwati umatsimikiziridwa pakati pa anthu awiri ofanana omwe ali ndi chikhalidwe chofanana. Mu dongosolo la Charter 20 la Family Russian la Domostroi (mwa Vasily wa Kaisareya), adatsimikiziridwa momwe angalerere ana ndi kupereka madera kwa iwo. Chiyambi cha maubwenzi apabanja chinayambika ndi mgwirizano wa makolo a mkwati ndi mkwatibwi, kutanthauzira kwa mtundu wa "zofunika" kwa ukwati, ukwati, kukula kwa dowry, ndi zina zotero. Udindo umenewu wokhudzana ndi banja latsopano udakalipo lero.
Sindinakumane ndi mwamuna ndi mkazi omwe angakhale okondwa kokha ndi chikondi. Ukwati ndi ntchito yaikulu, yomwe maziko ake ndiwo mbali. Ana sangathe kudyetsa limodzi ndi chikondi, sangakupatseni ku sukulu yabwino. Izi ndi zomwe ndikuzinena kuti ndichenjeze achinyamata kuti asakhumudwe. Inde, zambiri sizingakhoze kuwerengedwa, koma khalidwe la munthu monga lonjezo la tsogolo lingathe kuwonedwa. Ndiye musasowe kupeza njira yothetsera ukwati wokondweretsa, womwe agogo athu aakazi adadziwanso. Kodi mukudziwa chomwe chiri? Mwa kumvera. Mkazi ayenera kutumikira mwamuna wake ndipo motero amuthandize. Mkazi wamakono samadziwa kuti iye mwiniwake amapanga udindo wa mwamuna m'banja.
Kodi lingaliro "Kodi limatanthauzadi chikondi"? Kodi mungapulumutse bwanji banja lanu?
- Ndasunga banja langa, ngakhale kuti nthawi zina ndimakhala wovuta. Izi zimafuna kupatsa. Ndili nacho, chifukwa ndimakonda mwamuna wanga ndikukhulupirira mwa iye. Mwamuna amafuna mkazi yemwe amadziwa kukhululukira. Ndikuyenda mwa njira yakukhululukira, mwamuna mwa kulapa. Ndikufuna moyo mwa ine ndekha. Izi ndizovuta kwambiri. Timakonda kunena kuti sitingakhululukire kupandukira, kusakhulupirika. Zonse ndi zamkhutu. Koma uzimu ndi chinthu chosiyana. Ndipo funso siloyenera kukhululukira, koma ngati tikudziwa momwe tingachitire.
Tinalowa ndi mwamuna m'mabanja a apamwamba a aerobatics. Ndipo iye ndi woposa ine kuposa mamilioni a anthu amene akufuna kundiponya miyala. Ndinayambanso kuganiza kuti tili pa njira yoyenera. Anakhala ndi udindo wambiri, adapeza kumvetsetsa kuti ndikofunikira kuti athe kuika patsogolo patsogolo. Khalani mkazi ngakhale purezidenti wa dzikolo, iye ayenera poyamba akhale mkazi ndi mayi. Palibe chomwe chingakhale chofunikira kwambiri.
Chimene mkazi ayenera kupulumutsa banja lake
- Zambiri. Koma chofunika kwambiri - mkazi ayenera kulemekeza mwamuna. Agogo anga aakazi anzeru anati: "Mkulu wamwamuna, mwamuna ayenera kulemekezedwa." Ndipo ine ndinamuyankha iye: "Ndipo ngati si choncho?" - "Ndipo iwe umapeza mwa iye zomwe iwe ukufuna kuti uzilemekeza, ngati iye sakudziwa ngakhale za izo, ndi kulemekeza. Adzachikhulupirira ndi kulemekezedwa. " Monga mukuonera, zonse ndi zophweka.
Awa ndi maganizo a akatswiri ochita masewera olimbitsa thupi a Rosa Syabitova okhudza banja, ukwati ndi udindo wa ochita masewerawa masiku ano.