Ndipo mkazi ayenera kuchita chiyani ngati mwamuna akunena kuti sakudziwa za ubalewu?
Kawirikawiri chifukwa cha chisudzulo chimakhala chovuta cha wachiwiri. Nthawi zambiri timamva mawu akuti: "Iye sangalekerere," "nthawi zonse sakhala wosangalala." Koma akatswiri a zamaganizo amasiku ano akutsimikiza kuti khalidwe ili lachiwiri lanu sikuti limakhala chifukwa choipa, koma ndizolakwika kwa iye. Ndipo ngati mumayesetsa kupeza njira yothetsera vutoli, mutha kukhala osangalala mukatha kukwatirana ndi mwamuna wanu kapena mkazi wanu.
"Wokondedwa, ndimve!" Umu ndi momwe mawu a mwamuna kapena mkazi ayenera kumasuliridwa ngati mwamuna akunena kuti sakudziwa za tsogolo lanu.
Mikangano muukwati nthawi zambiri imabweretsa zopweteka ndi zodandaula kuti sizingatheke kukhala ndi munthu uyu. Koma nchiyani chomwe chiri kwenikweni chifukwa cha zodzinenera zoterozo? Kawirikawiri mfundo ndi yakuti mwamuna wako sakhala ndi chikhulupiliro pachibwenzi, osati chifukwa chakuti wasiya kukukonda kapena wasangalatsidwa ndi mkazi wina, koma amangokhala osamala mokwanira. Zonse zomwe akupempha kuti awonongeke ndikuti mumaganizira. Zoonadi, maubwenzi m'banja sikuti akungoyembekezera kusamalira. Izi zikuphatikizapo kukongola kwa mnzanuyo, ndi kukopa kwa kugonana, ndi chidwi chophweka cha umunthu. Koma kunena zazinenezi, nthawi zonse chikhumbo cha chisamaliro ndi chisamaliro chomwe sichipezeka.
Chiyembekezo ichi chikhoza kufotokozanso kuti chodabwitsa, poyamba, kuti ndi kovuta kwambiri kuti munthu avomereze chikondi. Koma nchifukwa ninji n'zovuta kuuza wina kuti mumamuchitira momwe mungathere? Inde, chifukwa pali mantha olephera. Ndipo popeza mukuwopa kukanidwa, ndiye si uthenga weniweni, koma pempho: mvetserani, mutengere nthawi yambiri ndikukomera mtima. Izi ndizofunika kuti tikhale omasuka pa chiyanjano chathu ndi theka lathu lachiwiri. Chosowachi ndi chikhalidwe mwa anthu onse, koma aliyense amafotokozedwa m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Anthu omwe amamvetsetsa kuti zotsutsana zonse za mnzanu - izi ndi "ntchito" yowonjezereka yokhudzana ndi iye (mkazi), akhoza kupulumuka mavuto omwe ali nawo mu ubale ndikukhala pamodzi. Ndizomvetsa chisoni kuti izi zimachitika kawirikawiri. Kudandaula kumapangitsa yankho, kenako lotsatira - ndipo tsopano kunyoza, zomwe sizinawathandize. Ndipo onse okwatirana akudikira, pamene "adzafika m'maganizo ake", "adzalandira zofuna zanga". Koma mungayang'ane bwanji? Munthu amene alibe chikondi sangathe kuthana ndi izi mosiyana. Kawirikawiri, chifukwa cha zochitika zapakhomo, pamene mwamuna akunena kuti sakonda momwe mkazi wake amachotsera kapena kukonzekera, ndipo mkazi sakhutira ndi malipiro a mwamuna wake, monga lamulo, pali zifukwa zosamvetsetsana, kusamvetsetsa, kunyalanyaza, kusamalira.
Koma ngati mmodzi mwa okwatirana amatha kumvetsa izi ndipo ayesa kupereka gawo lake lachiwiri chirichonse chimene alibe, aliyense, ngakhale munthu wovuta kwambiri akhoza kukhala wodekha ndi wololera.
Kawirikawiri, mwamuna akamanena kuti mkazi wake sakonda iye, kwenikweni, amasonyeza mantha ake kuti iye mwini adzasiya kukonza mkazi wake. Taganizirani izi, chifukwa pamene munthu akupitirizabe kufuula - izi ndizowonetseredwe za kufooka kwake, mantha, mtundu wa "kujambula payekha." Kulira ndi chizindikiro cha ululu. Ndipo mmalo moyankha ndi kufuula, choncho chifukwa chofooka chifukwa chafooka, yesetsani kukhala olimba. Yesetsani kumuthandiza mnzanuyo, chifukwa zonse zomwe akusowa ndizo chisamaliro chanu ndi chithandizo. Kodi ichi sichoncho chikondi?
N'zoonekeratu kuti kuti tikhale chete, phokoso lotsatira likukula m'nyumba, ndizovuta, tonse ndife amoyo, ndipo, monga zotsatira, maganizo. Koma palibe amene ananena kuti kusunga mtendere ndi mtendere mu banja ndi ntchito yosavuta. Ndipo ngati muli ndi mwamuna wokhala ndi khalidwe lovuta, muyenera kumvetsa kuti zinthu sizidzasintha zokha. Ndipo nthawi zonse zowonongeka zimangopangitsa kuti adzinena kuti sakudziwa za moyo wanu. Zinthu sizidzasintha zokha.
Kodi zimatheka bwanji kuti mwamuna alankhule ndi mkazi wake wokondedwa posachedwa kuti sakudziwa za ubalewu? Nchifukwa chiani kuchokera kwa munthu wolemekezeka ndi wachikulire yemwe amakukondani amasanduka osayanjanitsa kapena achipongwe? Chifukwa cha izi ndikumverera kwa kusakhutira kwakukulu ndi zomwe zinatuluka pakapita nthawi, kusatetezeka mwa mphamvu zanu.
Ngati mwamuna akunena kuti sakudziwa za chiyanjano - asiyeni adzipangire yekha. Mundilole ine kuti ndiyambe ngati iye akufuna. Kutanthauza kuti, tulukani mumkhalidwe uwu, zomwe zimangowonjezera mikangano pakati pa inu. Ngakhale atachoka lero, akadakali kale, koma wachibale wako. Mutha kusiya ubwenzi ndi iye monga mwamuna, mwamuna, koma inu mukhalabe anthu apamtima omwe pambuyo pake adzatha kukhazikitsa ubale weniweni waumunthu.
Azimayi ambiri amaopa mpata chifukwa chakuti amadziona kuti amadalira mwamuna wawo. Koma kudalira munthu wina kungabwerere pokhapokha ngati simukudziŵa nokha, kusakwanira. Yambani ndi nokha: Kugwira ntchito pawekha kudzakuthandizani kuti musamamve ngati wodwala. Uwu ndi ntchito yovuta komanso yowawa, koma kukhala wamphamvu kwa iwewekha udzakhala wofunika kwa mwamuna wako.
Pofuna kusunga banja munthu ayenera kuyesetsa kuyesa zomwe akuchita. Sichiyenera kukhazikitsidwa pamalingaliro anu okha, chifukwa ndi mbali yodzigonjera. Yesetsani kuthetsa vutoli, mwinamwake mawu ochepa achifundo, omwe mumamuuza mwamuna wake pakapita nthawi, ndikufotokozerani kuti mumamukonda, kumuthandizira kuti adziwe mgwirizano wake?