Inde, zonsezi zimadalira msinkhu wa msinkhuyo. Ngati ali ndi zaka makumi awiri, ndiye kuti zikuwoneka ngati zopusa komanso zopanda pake. Komabe, dzifunseni nokha, ndi zifukwa ziti zomwe mwana angakhale nazo komanso mayi wamkulu wamkulu?
Koma pakakhala mnyamata wazaka makumi awiri, zonse zimadalira nzeru zake, khalidwe lake ndi maganizo ake padziko lapansi. Inde, msungwana akakula kuposa mnyamata kwazaka zisanu ndi chimodzi, izi sizomwe zidzavomereze ndikuzimvetsa. Choncho, munthu ayenera kukhala wokonzeka kuwona maonekedwe ndi zokambirana. Zoonadi, moyo wanu ndi chiyanjano chanu siziyenera kuganizira aliyense. Muyenera kuphunzira kungonyalanyaza miseche ndi kutsutsidwa. Kwenikweni, zoterozo zili ndi anthu ochepa, osatetezeka omwe sali ndi nzeru zakuya ndipo amakhalanso ndi moyo wakuda. Kwa anthu oterowo, munthu sayenera kumvetsera, chifukwa malingaliro awo ndi osayenera, ndipo mawuwo ali ndi bile. Anthu oterewa ayenera kupatsidwa chithandizo chozizira. Pamapeto pake, iwo sayenera kupasula ndi kuwononga moyo wanu ndi chikondi, kukondwera ndi kupambana kwapang'ono.
Malingaliro anu enieni pa kusiyana, mungangolangiza kuti musagwiritse ntchito. Ngati inu mumagwirizana ndi mnyamata wotere, ndiye iye anakopeka iwe ngati mwamuna, kulondola? Pambuyo pake, ngati mutamva kuti ndinu wosiyana mu msinkhu wanu, mumamuchitira ngati mnzako, koma osati momwe mumamvera panopa. Zaka sizomwe zili chizindikiro cha khalidwe, zolinga komanso nzeru. Pali anyamata omwe sadziwa zomwe akufuna, atapita zaka makumi atatu osadziwa zomwe akufuna, amapita ndi kutaya ndikukhala ndi maganizo osowa mtendere ndipo sangathe kumvetsa zomwe akufunikira mu chiyanjano. Pa nthawi yomweyo, pali anyamata omwe ali ndi zaka khumi ndi zisanu ndi ziwiri kapena khumi ndi zisanu ndi zitatu, omwe akukonzekera bwino moyo wawo, ali ndi zolinga ndi zofuna zawo, kulemekeza atsikana, kuyesa kupeza mzake kapena kusinthanitsa ndi mabwenzi opanda pake komanso makampani osayenerera. Ngati mnyamata wotere ali pafupi ndi inu, ndiye kuti simukuganiza kuti ali wamng'ono. Kwa iye si chaka cha kubadwa, koma malingaliro, zochita ndi ntchito. Ngati mnyamata woteroyo akulonjeza chinachake, nthawi zonse mungatsimikizire kuti lonjezoli lidzachitidwa chimodzimodzi pomwe adanena. Anyamata oterewa ayamba kupeza ndalama zawo okha, athandize makolo awo, kubwereka nyumba. Kawirikawiri, amatha kugwira ntchito ndi kuphunzira, amakhala ndi zokondweretsa zosiyana ndi zozizwitsa ndi chitukuko chawo chonse. Zili choncho kuti msungwana, pafupi ndi munthu wotero, amadzimva kuti sali wamkulu, koma ali wamng'ono. Chowonadi ndi chakuti chifukwa cha zoyenera kuziika patsogolo, anyamata a mtundu wotere wa malingaliro ndi khalidwe sakhala ndi khalidwe losavuta. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti sakudziwa zosangalatsa komanso kupusitsa. Pa nthawi yoyenera, mnyamatayo nthawi zonse amadziwa kudzikoka yekha ndikumusamalira, osati mwana.
Mwa njira, kawirikawiri anyamatawa amawoneka achikulire kuposa zaka zawo, choncho, anthu ochepa chabe amatha kuganiza za kusiyana kwa msinkhu wanu.
Ngati mkazi asankha mnyamata yemwe ali wamng'ono kuposa iye, simungatsutse izi ndikuziwona ngati kusokonekera. Pambuyo pa makumi awiri, miyeso ya msinkhu sichidziwikanso monga nthawi ya unyamata ndipo zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi zimasiya kusiyana kwakukulu. Chinthu china ndi chakuti mtsikanayo sangathe kuthana ndi vuto lake la maganizo. Nthawi zambiri zimachitika kuti akazi amaletsa maganizo mwa iwoeni, chifukwa amaona kuti chikondi chawo ndi cholakwika komanso chiwerewere. Pambuyo pake, mnyamatayo akukwanira ana ake aang'ono. Zoonadi, mfundo zomwe anthu amapanga zimakhala zovuta kusiya. Mtsikana aliyense, atakumana ndi vuto lomwelo, nthawi yomweyo amakumana ndi kukhudzika ndikuzindikira kuti akuchita zonse zolakwika. Zikuwoneka kwa iwo kuti posankha chikondi chawo, chimadzipweteka okha ndi mnyamatayo, ndikuchita chiwerewere komanso mwachisawawa. Inu simungakhoze konse kutenga izo mwanjira imeneyo. Mwachikondi, palibe chiwerewere, ngati sichikhumudwitsa ndipo sichisokoneza ena. Chifukwa chake, iwo omwe angatsutse anthu amenewa, amangoganizira za chimwemwe chawo komanso kulimba mtima kuti akhale pamodzi. Munthu wamba sangayambe kukambirana za maubwenzi ndi malingaliro a ena, chifukwa ndizovuta kwa awiri okha, omwe angathe kudziwa zonse. Choncho, ngati mumvetsetsa kuti mumakonda kwambiri munthu yemwe ali wamng'ono kuposa inu, ndipo amamva chimodzimodzi, musasiye chikondi ndikuphwanya mtima kwa munthu amene angakhale theka lanu. Ndi bwino kulankhula naye ndikukambirana zonse mozama.
Choyamba, muyenera kumvetsetsa ngati mukuyang'ana ubale ndi lingaliro la chikondi. Mnyamata akuganiza bwanji moyo wake pambali panu, zomwe akufuna komanso zomwe adzachite. Kuwonjezera apo, muyenera kuvomereza moona mtima ngati maganizo ake ndi ovuta kapena ngati maximalism ndi yachinyamata. Musayiwale kuti mukufuna kale chibwenzi, ndipo mnyamatayo, mwinamwake, amatenga zonse mwachinyamata ndipo posachedwa sangathe kupirira kulemera kwake komwe kuli pamapewa ake. Choncho, yesetsani kuganiza mozama komanso osalola kuti chikhalidwe chanu chikhudze zochita zanu. Ndizo nzeru za amayi ndi zokhudzidwa zowonongeka nthawi zonse zimathandiza kumvetsetsa zomwe zikuchitikadi komanso momwe zingakhalire bwino muzochitikazi. Musati mudziwe nokha kuti akadakali wamng'ono ndipo simungapambane.
Pali zochitika zambiri pamene anyamata amakumana ndi tsogolo lawo khumi ndi zisanu ndi zisanu ndi zisanu ndi zisanu ndi zisanu ndi zisanu ndi zitatu, kukwatira ndi kukhala moyo mpaka moyo mpaka ukwati wa golidi. Ndicho chifukwa chake, musanamukankhire mnyamatayo, muyenera kumvetsa ndi kusankha ngati angakhale mwamuna wanu ndi atate wa ana anu. Ngati ndi choncho, ndiye chifukwa chiyani muyenera kusiya maganizo anu ndi chimwemwe chanu. Kwa chikondi chenicheni, zaka sizinakhaleko ndipo sizingakhale chopinga chachikulu ndipo ngakhale msungwana ali wamkulu kuposa mnyamata kwazaka zisanu ndi chimodzi - siziri zowopsya.