Izi zimachitika kuti ubale pakati pa anthu awiri ukuwoneka kuti ulibe tanthawuzo, koma pazifukwa zina iwo samagawana. Pa nthawi yomweyi mzimayi nthawi zonse amanyoza komanso amanyozetsa mtsikanayo, samamulola kukhala mwamtendere, kudzizindikira yekha, ndi zina zotero, komabe sakufuna kumulola kupita, komabe iye akhoza kulankhula za chikondi. Nchifukwa chiyani izi zimachitika ndipo ndi chiyani cholakwika ndi anyamatawa?
Teddy Bear Syndrome
Akatswiri ena a zamaganizo amatcha khalidwe la "matenda a teddy bear". Kodi ndi chiyani? Mwamuna yemwe sali wotetezedwa konse, amafanizidwa ndi chidole chimene amachikonda kwambiri. Izi zikutanthauza kuti, pamene tinali aang'ono, wamakono anali ndi bwenzi lake lopanda pake, yemwe anali ndi chidole chomwe ankakonda. Mnzangayu nthawizonse anachita zomwe tinkafuna ndipo anati zomwe tinkakonda. Iye anatisamalira ife ndipo sanakhumudwitse konse. Kuchokera kwa bwenzi lotere, palibe amene adayembekezerapo zodabwitsa zilizonse. Ndipotu iye anali "munthu wa loto" wathu, koma tili mwana tinali osadziwa.
Ana amakono akukula ndipo ambiri adadziwa kuti abwenzi sangakhale ngati bulu lamphongo. Iwo amatha kukangana, kufotokoza maganizo awo, amakhumudwa, kuchita osati momwe ife tikufunira. Komabe, anthu ena sanafune kuvomereza izi ndipo amangotseka maso awo. Iwo adzikhulupirira okha kuti "chiberekero cha teddy" chiripo, ndizofunikira kuti mupeze izo. M'kupita kwa nthaŵi, munthu woteroyo angakonde wina ndi kumulanditsanso. Ndiyeno amayamba kupanga kuchokera kwa wokondedwa "chiberekero cha teddy". Ngakhale, kwenikweni, woganiza choncho samakonda aliyense koma "bulu lake". Mwachidule, iye amapeza mwanjira ina makhalidwe abwino kwambiri pa kukula kwa "khalidwe" lake ndipo amayamba kudalira kwa iye wokondedwa weniweni m'moyo.
Pachifukwa ichi, amuna samamvetsa bwino momwe amawopsya komanso amanyazi omwe amachitira. Chowonadi ndi chakuti amakhala m'dziko lopanda pake, limene wokondedwa ayenera kuchita zomwe akufuna. Mwachitsanzo, "bulu wamphongo" nthawi zonse ayenera kuyembekezera wokondedwa kuchokera kuntchito ndikukumana naye wokondwa ndi wokondwa, alibe ufulu woti afunse mafunso omwe mnyamatayu sangakonde. "Teddy bear" sayenera kukhala ndi chidwi ndi chirichonse, kupatulapo chokhachokha komanso chosakwanira, chimene iye amakhala. "Chimbalangondo" sichiyenera kukhala ndi nkhawa komanso mavuto ake. Iye akuyenera kuti apange chimwemwe ndi chitonthozo. Zolinga zoterozo sizingatheke. Komabe, woganiza sakufuna kuvomereza izi. Akungowopa kuchoka m'dziko lake, momwe "chiberekero cha teddy" chikukwaniritsira zonse zomwe akufuna, chifukwa kwenikweni pali zinthu zambiri zimene sizidzamukondweretsa. Zinthu zoterezi ndi anthu ofooka komanso otchuka. Choncho zimakhala kuti mnyamata wotereyo amamuchititsa manyazi komanso kumunyoza mtsikana wake. Mu malingaliro ake, lingaliro la momwe "chiberekero cha teddy" chiyenera kukhalira chiri chozikika mwamphamvu kuti zochita zake zonse zomwe sizikugwera pansi pa miyezo zikuwoneka kuti zimapanga zoyipa ndi zolakwika.
Mukafunsa munthu wotere chifukwa chake anakwiya kwambiri ndi chibwenzi chake, nthawi zonse amayankha kuti: "Anali kulakwitsa, ndinafunika kumuwonetsa momwe angachitire bwino." Pachifukwa ichi, ngakhale kuzindikira kuti munthuyo akudwala ndi woipa, adzalimbikitsabe mofanana ndi kale, chifukwa amakhulupirira moona mtima kuti zochitika zoterezi zidzapita kwa mayi wake wa mtima ndipo sadzachitanso zolakwitsa. Ndipo ngati "chimbalangondo" chachifukwa china chimasokoneza cholakwika, ndiye kuti nthawi yomweyo ayenera kuphunzitsa makhalidwe abwino. Mwamwayi, ambiri opanga mapulogalamuwa amakhala otsutsika enieni. Amawopa kwambiri kuti anthu sadzakhala ndi moyo mwa malamulo awo, kuti ayambe kugwiritsa ntchito njira zamphamvu, kuti asunge "bere" lapafupi ndi iwo ndikumuletsa kuti achite mogwirizana ndi malingaliro ake ndi zikhumbo zake. Zikatero, mnyamata akhoza kumenyana ndi mtsikana, ndipo atatha kunena kuti: "Munandipititsa patsogolo pano, bwanji mukutsutsana ndi zokhumba zanga!". Samalani, anthu awa nthawi zonse amadzipweteka okha. Amakhulupirira kuti akuchita zabwino, koma "bulu lamphongo" latayala mphamvu ndipo amalangidwa chifukwa cha khalidweli. Kawirikawiri kuchokera kwa munthu wotero mungamve: "Sindikwezera manja anga kwa atsikana ena, ndimangokumenyani. Kotero, ndiwe amene umakhala wodalirika ndi wodzikweza wekha, ndipo ndikungokuphunzitsani momwe mungachitire bwino, koma simukufuna kundimvetsera. " Koma ngakhale mtsikanayo amamvetsera, mnyamatayu adzalandirabe chifukwa chomamatirira chinachake. Pamene "teddy" yowonjezera ikuyesa kufanana ndi zoyenera, patapita nthawi mndandanda wa makhalidwe abwino umakhala. Potero, pokwaniritsa chotsatira chimodzi cha womangayo, "mummy wochuluka" amakhala wolakwa mu zizindikiro zitatu kapena zinayi. Ndipo kotero izo zikhoza kupitirira kwamuyaya. Mwadzidzidzi woyambitsa sadzakhala chete. Iye nthawizonse amaganizira za chinachake. "Chimbalangondo" chidzatha kutayika payekha, chidzakhala ndi kupsinjika maganizo ndi kusweka kwa mantha. Zotsatira zake, atangotaya mtima, adayankha kuti: "Inu simukufanana ndi kale. Iwe wasokonezedwa. Koma ndikuyesera kukuthandizani, simumandimvera konse. " Ndipo nkhanza zidzapitirira.
Kodi mungachite chiyani ndi "chimbalangondo"?
Ngati muli mu udindo wa "bulu wamphongo", ndiye njira yokhayo yomwe mungatuluke ndikumagawana ndi munthu woteroyo. Inde, zingatumizedwe kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo yemwe angagwire ntchito pa zovuta ndi mavuto, kuti munthu adziwe zomwe zachitika ndi momwe amachitira ndi okondedwa ake. Koma vuto ndilo kuti peresenti ya amuna omwe ali ndi malo osungiramo katunduwo amavomereza kuthandizidwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo, ndipo mochulukira kwambiri akuzindikira kuti akuchitadi cholakwika. Kotero, mwinamwake, mukuyenerabe kumagawana ndi woyambitsa, ziribe kanthu momwe zingakhalire zoipa. Kumbukirani kuti simungathe kukhala "bere". Atsikana ambiri amadzisokoneza ndi kuyembekezera kuti ndi bwino kuchita chimodzimodzi ndipo munthuyo amasiya kuchita zimenezi. Tsoka ilo, wopanga yekha sangasinthe. Chifukwa chake, nthawi zonse adzawopsyeza "thomba la teddy". Kotero ngati mukufuna kukhala moyo wabwinobwino, muyenera kusiya mwamsanga munthu uyu ndi kukhala kutali naye. Apo ayi, mudzayenera kupirira chipongwe ndi kunyozedwa kwa moyo wanu wonse.