Kwa amayi ambiri, moyo wawo wa banja uli ngati filimu yowopsya. Ndipo chifukwa cha ichi ndi chiwawa.
Nkhani yokhudza chiwawa m'banja imadziwika kwa ambiri, koma sikuti aliyense ali ndi kulimba mtima kunena mawuwo. Tili okonzeka kupanga zifukwa zambiri zomwe tiyenera kupirira, mmalo moti "ayi" kamodzi. Choncho, ziŵerengero zosautsa kwambiri, ngakhale ndi nkhani yomwe yambiri imakhalabe m'mbuyo. Chaka chilichonse, amai ambiri, mwa njira ina, amavutika ndi chiwawa kapena chiwawa m'banja, panthawi yomwe wachibale wawo akukwatira samapezako bwino ndipo amachititsa mankhwalawa. Chokhumudwitsa kwambiri n'chakuti amayi ambiri sadziwa momwe angadzitetezere ku nkhanza zapakhomo. Za izi ndikuyankhula.
Kudula - ndiye kukonda.
Mwinamwake, palibe mkazi mmodzi yemwe sankadziwa mwambi wonyenga uwu. Kulemba kwake, mwachiwonekere kumakhalanso kwa mkazi, ndipo zonse zinapangidwa, zomwe zikanakhala kuti zikutanthauza kuti zochita za mwamuna wake ndi kuleza mtima kwake zimakhala zomveka. Koma ndi mawu okha, chifukwa ndi mtundu wotani wa chikondi, ngati kupweteka kumaperekedwa?
Mkazi mwachibadwidwe ndi wocheperapo kwa mwamuna mu mphamvu ya thupi, yomwe nthawi zambiri imakhala chifukwa choyamba cha kuyambitsa chiwawa ndi kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu, kuponderezedwa, kunyozedwa. Kulephera kudzudzula, kapena mantha chabe, kumapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta. Kawirikawiri kusagwirizana konse ndikulondola ndi mawu amodzi: "koma izo sizikhala zoipitsitsa." Ndipo choipa chikuchitika mulimonsemo.
Kuwonetseredwa kwa chiwawa m'banja kungakhale kosiyana, ndikukhala ndi maganizo, kugonana kapena thupi. Mulimonsemo, zovulalazo ndizoopsa. Zokwanira kulingalira momwe mkazi yemwe amamverera mantha, kupweteka, kuponderezedwa, ndi kunyozedwa akhoza kumverera yekha ndikuyamba kukhulupirira kuti iye palibe aliyense m'moyo uno, ndipo zonse zomwe zimachitika pozungulira iye ndizofunikira zake basi. Kawirikawiri, ngati pali ana m'banja lachiwawa, posakhalitsa kugwidwa ndi kugwedeza, kumawaphimba, ndiye kuti mkaziyo amamenya kachiwiri.
Chokhumudwitsa kwambiri ndi chakuti chifukwa cha "mabowo" mu lamulo komanso kusadziŵa kwake, wopenga sangathe kuyankha chifukwa cha zochita zake.
Momwe mungazindikire wampondereza?
Poyamba kuona wotsutsa wam'tsogolo komanso wakubayo akhoza kukhala munthu wokondana komanso wabwino, wokonzeka kubwera kumathandiza osati chifukwa chodandaula. Malinga ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo, chiwawa chimayamba pang'onopang'ono, ndipo zimaonekera patatha zaka zingapo zakhala pamodzi. Kawirikawiri chizindikiro choyamba chimene munthu wachiwawa amatha kupezeka mnyumba sizowonjezereka, koma kupsa mtima kosalamulirika ndi kukhumudwa pazowonongeka, kuumitsa mtima kwambiri ndi kukwiya kwakukulu pamene zatsimikiziridwa kuti ndi zolakwika. Monga chizindikiro cha mantha chiyenera kukhala khalidwe laukali muledzera. Ndipotu, anthu ambiri opondereza nthawi zambiri amangochita zinthu mowa mwauchidakwa, ndipo pamutu waukulu kwambiri amadandaula kwambiri zomwe anachita. Kawirikawiri poyamba chiwawa chimadziwonetsera, momwe munganene kuti "zolekerera" zochita. Mwamuna yemwe ali pakati pa mkangano angathe kupweteka dzanja, kugwiritsa ntchito mawu achipongwe, kupondereza pang'ono, kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu ku zinthu zopangidwa bwino: khalani pa tebulo, khoma, kuponyera zinthu, kuwaswa. Mwina sizingakhale zaka zingapo, ndipo mukhoza kukhala chinthu chochotsera mkwiyo. Inde, palibe amene akulangiza kusiya okhulupilika, ndizofunikira pomwe pali nthawi yodziwitsa chomwe chimayambitsa khalidweli komanso osalola kubwereza mtsogolomu. Mutha kuthandizana ndi anthu omwe angakhale achiwawa komanso achigololo. Pali amuna omwe amazindikira khalidwe lawo ndipo ali okonzekera kuti amenyane ndi izi, changucho sichingakhoze kukanidwa, ndikofunikira kuthandiza ndikuthandizira m'njira iliyonse. Ndizochitika izi, mwamsanga mudzamvetsa momwe mungachitire pofuna kuchotsa chiwawa m'banja.
Ana.
Monga tanena kale, ana nthawi zambiri amachitira zachiwawa m'banja. Kaŵirikaŵiri, mayi sangathe kuwatchinjiriza, kapena iyeyo ndiye amene amamuvutitsa. Kaŵirikaŵiri izi zimachitika m'mabanja omwe mkazi amadalira mwamuna pazinthu zakuthupi ndi nyumba. Chifukwa cha kusowa kwina kulikonse, iwo amangoyenera kupirira, ndi kuwachititsa iwo kulekerera ana, chifukwa palibe malo oti apite.
Ana ndiwo omwe ali pachiopsezo kwambiri mwa chiwerengero cha anthu a dziko lirilonse, ndipo monga akunena, aliyense akhoza kukhumudwitsa mwana. Kawirikawiri, kugwiritsira ntchito nkhanza kwa ana kumagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi makolo onse, monga mtundu wa maphunziro, iwo amati, kuti adziwe malo awo. Pa nthawi yomweyi, anthu owerengeka amalingalira kuti mwanayo, amene wazunzidwa, adzapitirizabe kukhala wozunzidwa. Izi zidzakhudza maubwenzi mu timu yophunzitsa, polankhulana ndi anzanga, ndiyeno tikakula. Njira iyi yophunzitsira ndiyo chifukwa chokhazikitsa khalidwe linalake la umunthu. Kawirikawiri, ana awa amadzikonzekeretsa kuti awonetsere ubwino wa maganizo. Chimene chimakhudza chidaliro chawo ndi kudzidalira kwawo. Ngakhale ana amene amangowona zachiwawa adzakhala kale ndi vuto la maganizo, ndipo m'tsogolomu, pofufuza zomwe zikuchitika, amadziimba mlandu wa zochitika izi, ngakhale kulibe.
Momwe mungakhalire?
Ngati mukumenyedwa, ndipo simudziwa momwe mungadzitetezere ku nkhanza zapakhomo, choyamba muyenera kuzindikira kuti mukuchita zachiwawa. Kuvomereza mwamphamvu za mtundu uwu waphungu kudzakupatsani inu chidaliro chokumana nacho. Mpaka lero, pali mabungwe ambiri omwe ntchito yawo ili ndi cholinga cholimbana ndi kupezeka kwa chiwawa cha m'banja. M'malo amenewa mudzapatsidwa zidziwitso zonse zofunika, zimapereka chithandizo cha maganizo ndikufotokozerani momwe mungachitire zinthu zoterezi. Musaope kulankhulana ndi apolisi, ndi zina zomwe zimateteza ufulu waumunthu.
Njira inanso yopeŵera chiwawa sizitsutsa. Ngati mukudziwa zifukwa zomveka kuti munthu wakubayo sangapewe, asawapewe, ndipo musalole kupsa mtima koteroko ndikuyesani kuchoka kwa kanthawi ngati zinthu zatha.