Msonkhano wapadera ndi bwenzi lachinyamata, omwe takhala tikuwoneka kale; zoopsa pa msewu; kulankhula kwa omvera osadziwika; "mayi" kapena "abambo" oyambirira kuyembekezedwa kuchokera pakamwa pa mwanayo - zochitika zambiri tsiku ndi tsiku zimatulutsa mtima wathu. Timachita manyazi ndi iwo, kuopa kuyang'ana zopanda pake, kumadziletsa tokha ndikuganiza kuti tikuwatsogolera. Ndipo komabe kumverera mobwerezabwereza kutitengera ife.
Miyezo Yambiri
Mwinamwake mfundo ndi yakuti tinakulira m'gulu lomwe limatha kuthetsa malingaliro a munthu - "kudziletsa" - nthawi zonse ankawoneka ngati wabwino. Kudziletsa, ngati mlonda wodikira, kumatikumbutsa nthawi zonse: sikuli bwino kukhala ndi mtima wokhazikika, simungathe kusonyeza mkwiyo wanu poyera, muyenera kubisala mantha anu, kuletsa chisangalalo komanso chimwemwe. Kuchita kulimbika mtima kulikonse kungawoneke kosafunikira, kopanda pake, ngakhale kunyansa ndi kuwonedwa ngati chiwonetsero cha kufooka kwathu. Pali zosiyana zambiri: ndi chisangalalo kapena nkhawa zomwe anthu ambiri omwe adakhalapo nthawi zina. Choncho, mwachibadwa kulira limodzi ndi nyimbo zoimba pa sitima ya mpira kapena palimodzi kumvetsetsa ndi kanema wailesi yakanema, kumene mafunde a tsunami akutsanulira nyanja yamtendere. Koma, titi, kuvina mu ofesi panthawi yopititsa patsogolo, kuziyika mofatsa, sikuvomerezedwa - monga sikuvomerezedwa ndikumva chisoni.
Kudziletsa kwambiri kumapangitsanso chitonthozo cha m'maganizo kwa ife: maonekedwe omwe amachititsa chidwi amachititsa kuti zochitikazo zikhale zovuta. Koma nthawi yomweyo kudziletsa kumayambitsa chisokonezo, kumapangitsa kusiyana koopsa pakati pa zomwe timamva komanso momwe timachitira.
Amene ali ndi zofuna zawo zokhazokha, nthawi zina amayesa "kuzimira" mothandizidwa ndi mapiritsi ozizwitsa. Ambiri amadziimba mlandu okha, pamaganizo awo, pokhudzidwa kwambiri ndi makolo awo, omwe "molakwika" adawaukitsa. Koma iwo ndi ena samadziwa kapena samayiwala momwe kufunika kwa kufotokoza kwakumverera kwa miyoyo yathu. Chifukwa cha iwo, timayankhula zoona zenizeni "I" ndikudziwika bwino kwa anthu ena. Kuwonjezera apo, maganizo ndi ofunikira kuti tipulumuke. Charles Darwin poyamba adanena kuti kufotokozera maganizo kumakhala ndi tanthauzo la chilengedwe. Nyama iliyonse yoberekera imakhala ndi malingaliro omwe amapereka chidziwitso chokhudza zolinga za wina, panthawi zovuta, zimathandiza kuchita mwachibadwa popanda kuganiza. Mwa njira iyi, kupondereza maganizo athu, timadziika tokha pangozi, chifukwa aliyense wa iwo amasewera udindo wake wapadera.
Mantha
amatidziwitsa za ngozi yeniyeni kapena yoganiza. Amagwira zomwe zili zofunika pa moyo wathu panthawiyi. Kuopa sikungotenga zokhazokha, komanso kumapatsa thupi malamulo: imatsogolera magazi ku miyendo, ngati nkofunikira kuthamanga, kapena kumutu, ngati n'koyenera kuganiza. Monga lamulo, mantha amawongolera mphamvu zathu, ngakhale nthawi zina zotsatira zake zimakhala zosiyana: zimatifooketsa pamene tikusankha momwe tingachitire pazinthu zina.
Mkwiyo
nthawi zina amasokonezeka ndi chiwawa, zomwe angathe kukwiyitsa. Kawirikawiri, kumverera uku kumaphatikizapo munthu pamene akukayikira kuti satengedwa mozama (ndipo anthu ena amakhala ndi maganizo amenewa nthawi zonse). Koma mkwiyo ukhoza kukhala wothandiza ndipo umathandiza: kumatulutsa kutulutsa mahomoni m'magazi (kuphatikizapo adrenaline), ndipo iwo amapereka mphamvu yamphamvu. Ndiyeno timamva mphamvu zathu, timamva kulimba mtima komanso kudzidalira. Kuwonjezera apo, mkwiyo umatiuza kuti tafika pamlingo umene sitingathe kudziletsa tokha - mwachidziwitso, umalowetsa chiwonetsero cha chiwawa.
Chisoni
kumathandiza kuthawa kuti awonongeke (munthu wapafupi, makhalidwe ena mwa iweeni, zinthu zakuthupi ...) ndi kubwezeretsanso mphamvu ya moyo. Zimakupatsani inu "kudzigonjetsa nokha", kulowerera kuwonongeka ndi kupeza kachilombo kotayika kwa zomwe zikuchitika. Kuonjezera apo, chisoni chomwe chimapangitsa kuti anthu amve chisoni ndi kusamalidwa ndi ena - ndipo timakhala otetezedwa kwambiri.
Chimwemwe
maganizo ofunikira kwambiri. Ndi iye amene amamasula kuchuluka kwake kwa mphamvu, zomwe zimayambitsa kumasulidwa kwa mahomoni okondweretsa. Timakhala otsimikiza, tanthauzo lathu, ufulu, timamva kuti timakondedwa ndi kukondedwa. Chimwemwe chimakhala ngati maginito: chimakopa ena kwa ife ndipo chimatithandiza kugawana nawo malingaliro athu. Zimadziwikanso kuti kumwetulira ndi kuseka kumathandiza kuchepetsa chitetezo cha mthupi.
Maganizo ndi malingaliro
Chinthu china chofunika chakumverera ndikuti zimatipangitsa ife kukhala anzeru. Kwa nthawi yaitali, sayansi inawagonjetsa, inaikidwa pansi pa malingaliro. Ndipotu, kuchokera pakuganiza kuti zamoyo zinachita kusintha kuchokera ku zamoyo, zamoyo zinabadwira m'mtima mwakuya za "asanakhale munthu" ndipo zimagwirizana kwambiri ndi khalidwe lachilengedwe la nyama. Dipatimenti yatsopano ya cerebral cortex, yomwe makamaka imayambitsa ndondomeko yolingalira, inaonekera patapita nthawi. Koma lero akudziwika kuti mu mawonekedwe ake enieni malingaliro alibe - amachiritsidwa ndi mtima. Katswiri wa zamagulu a ku America Antonio Damasio anatsimikizira kuti chidziwitso, chomwe sichikugwirizana ndi maganizo, chimakhala chosabala, ndipo munthu wozizira samatha kuphunzira kuchokera ku zolakwa zake. N'zochititsa chidwi kuti ana ndi akuluakulu adziphunzire ndi kukumbukira chinthu china chatsopano pokhapokha ngati ali ndi maganizo abwino komanso okhutira, omwe amatsegula chitseko cha malo atsopano a maunyolo a neural.
Malingaliro amakhalanso palibe popanda kukhudzidwa. Mawu onse, manja onse, kununkhira, kulawa, chithunzi chomwe tachiwona mwa ife nthawi yomweyo "amatanthauziridwa" ndi malingaliro athu. Popanda kukhudzidwa, tikhoza kukhala makina ndikukoka moyo wopanda mtundu.
Katswiri wa zamaganizo Daniel Goleman (Daniel Goleman) anatsimikizira lingaliro la sayansi la "nzeru zamaganizo." Anadza kumapeto kuti kupambana kwathu kwathu sikudalira kwambiri pa IQ, chiwerengero cha chitukuko cha nzeru, monga pa coefficient (EQ). Malingana ndi deta za zofufuza, iye anatsimikizira kuti mmalo mwa akatswiri omwe ali opambana kwambiri sali akatswiri a ma diploma osiyanasiyana, koma iwo omwe ali ndi makhalidwe apamwamba a umunthu - kuthekera kusanthula malingaliro awo ndi kuyendetsa awo omwe ndi ena. Mwachitsanzo, anthu oterewa akufunsidwa kuti awathandize kuthetsa vuto, koma ena amavomereza mosavuta, pomwe "olefuka" (ndi otsika EQ) angayembekezere masiku angapo kuti ayankhe yankho lawo ...
Mawu a chikumbumtima
Maganizo amatiuza zinthu zofunika kwambiri zokhudza ife eni kapena zomwe tikuchita nazo, choncho tiyenera kukhulupilira, tizimvetsera ndi kudalira. Poyang'ana koyamba zikuwoneka kuti malo omwe alipo alipo otsutsana ndi zomwe ambirife timakumana nazo: nthawi zambiri tinkalakwitsa, tikuyenda pa nthawi yakumverera. Wofilosofi wamkulu wa ku Germany, Max Scheler (Max Scheler), anafotokoza kutsutsana uku ndi kukhalapo kwa mitundu iwiri ya malingaliro. Pa dzanja limodzi, pali kukhudzidwa kwa kukhudzana, kumachita ngati njira yogwira. Tikamakhala osangalala, timamva bwino, timatha kumasuka, sitidere nkhawa, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti tikhoza kukhala ndi "moyo wambiri". Ngati chinachake chimatikhumudwitsa kapena chimatikwiyitsa, timamva kuti tilibe thanzi, mphamvu - "gawo la moyo." Kuyankhulana kumapereka chidziwitso chofunikira ponena za kufunika kwa existential kwa zomwe zikuchitika pa thanzi langa, mphamvu yanga. Koma malingaliro otere (nthawi zambiri akuchokera ubwana) sayenera kudalira pa kupanga kupanga, ndikofunikira kuti athe kuchotsa, kuziika mu mabakiteriya.
Koma palinso mtundu wina wakumverera - maganizo akutali. Iwo alibe ubale weniweni ndi dziko lathu lino, koma amapeza chinthu chofunika kwambiri pa munthu wina. Uku ndikumverera mwachidziwitso kwa aliyense. Izi ndi zomwe zimatipangitsa kufunsa wokondedwa wathu: "Kodi chinachake chakuchitikirani?" Kapena akulamula kuti: "Tiyenera kupita kunyumba mofulumizitsa!" Sitiphunzitsa kuti tizimvetsera mwachidwi, koma amatilola kuti tiyambe kufufuza mlengalenga gulu la anthu, interlocutor kapena mkhalidwe. Ngati mubwereranso pa moyo wanu, mudzazindikira kuti zosankha zonse zofunika kwambiri ndi zolondola mmenemo zakhala zikupangidwa, kudalira zowoneka bwino: kufotokozera mwachidwi kumabwera pakapita nthawi.
Khulupirirani mukumverera kwanu kungathe ndipo muyenera kuphunzitsidwa, kuphunzitsidwa. Ndikofunika kuti musasokoneze malingaliro omwe amalankhulana ndi ife pamtima, ndi anthu akutali akukamba za munthu wina.
High Voltage
Pamene mphamvu ya zochitikazo ili yaikulu kwambiri, tili ndi njira zothandizira maganizo - kuphatikizapo sitikumva kanthu kalikonse. Kupsinjika maganizo, kusayanjanitsika, kutengeka-kotero zimayang'ana kuchokera kunja, ndipo kuchokera mkati mwa munthuyo sikumapwetekanso, monga ndi anesthesia. Kulepheretsa ("kuiwala") malingaliro omwe timasandulika mukumverera kwa thupi, kuthetsa mgwirizano pakati pa zochitika zamalingaliro ndi zomwe zinayambitsa.
Nthawi zina maganizo amawoneka mosiyana. Nthawi zina chisoni chimasonyezedwa mwachimwemwe; chimwemwe - misozi; Nthawi zina timatha kuseka mokweza - ngati kutaya mtima sikutisokoneza. Njira zothetsera maganizo zimakhudzitsa mphamvu zathu zakuthupi ndi zakuthupi ndipo nthawi zambiri zimakhala zopanda ntchito: Nthawi zina maganizo enieni amatha kupitilira. Iwo omwe amabisala bwino maganizo awo, nawonso, ali pavuto lawo. Mukhoza kuganiza kuseka, kusewera mkwiyo, kunama za maganizo anu enieni, koma simungakhoze kudziyerekezera nthawi zonse: posachedwa adzatuluka. Kotero ndi bwino kuti mutha kuzigwira monga momwe zilili.
Zochita za mphamvu
Muli wodekha kapena wodwalayo, wotchuka, kapena wodwala ziwalo ndi mantha ... Yesani kumvetsetsa zochitika zosavuta zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuti muzigwirizana.
Simukuphatikizidwa
Mumadziletsa, musalole kuti muwonetsere mkwiyo kapena chimwemwe ... Makhalidwe anu ali ndi cholinga chomwe sichivuta kuzindikira. Njira yotuluka ndi "kulola" nokha, kumasula malingaliro anu.
1. Yesetsani kufotokoza malingaliro ndi manja.
Mawu ndi ofunikira, koma maganizo athu 90% amawonetsedwa ndi nkhope, thupi. Sung'onong'onong'o, kuwonetsa, manja - ngakhale zosavuta zothandizira mapewa zimalankhula za momwe timaonera zomwe zikuchitika kuposa mautali aatali ...
2. Dziwani kukhalapo kwa maganizo.
Ngati mwana akuwopa mimbulu, n'zosathandiza kumutsimikizira kuti m'nkhalango zathu sapezeka. Kuvomereza maganizo ake, makolo angafunse kuti: "Kodi ndingatani kuti ndikulepheretseni?" Kuchita mantha sikuli manyazi, munthu sayenera kuchita manyazi ndi mantha. Palibe malingaliro athu ali owopsa, iwo ndi othandizana nawo, omwe sitiyenera kuyembekezera nthawi zonse chinyengo.
3. Sungani diary.
Zili ngati kuuza mnzanu zakukhosi kwanu. Nkhani yotereyi imathandiza kukumbukira maganizo oiwalika, kuganizira za iwo, kukhala ndi malingaliro kwa iwo.
Iwe uli olumala ndi mantha
Kupitirira "zikhomo" (ndiko kuti, kuwonongeka kwakukulu pakugonjetsedwa ndi mphotho yayikulu ya kupambana), pamene mukuwopsya kwambiri. Mukuwopa kwambiri kulephera kuti mumaganizira zochitika zoopsa kwambiri ndipo manja anu akugwa. Njira yowonekera ndiyo kuzindikira malingaliro anu ndikugonjetsa "ziwalo" za chifuniro.
1. Fufuzani zochitika m'mbuyomu zomwe zimachitika m'maganizo mwanu panthawi yomwe mukuwopa.
Kodi ndani akuwoneka ngati wakuwopa? Mwinamwake mphunzitsi yemwe anakuzunzani inu muunyamata, kapena mnansi yemwe sanakupatseni inu pasipiti? Zinthu zilizonse zovuta zimatikumbutsa zomwe tinakumana nazo kale, kawirikawiri zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi zoyambirira za moyo. Ndipo kachiwiri kumverera kwa mantha kumene ife sitingakhoze kugonjetsa kubwerera kwa ife.
2. Kupuma bwino.
Ikani chidwi chanu pa kupuma kwanu: kwezani zowonjezera ndikufupikitsa mpweya kuti musamachepetse mkati mwanu.
3. Kumbukirani kupambana kwanu.
Momwemo, mwachitsanzo, momwe munaperekera mfuti mwanzeruyo kapena munapambana mpikisano wa tenisi. Malingana ndi zochitika zapitazo ndi malingaliro ogwirizana a zosangalatsa, mukhoza kuthana ndi chilakolako chowona zochitika zoopsa za zochitika zosadziwika.
4. Konzani mayeso.
Ganizirani zochitika zosiyanasiyana zomwe zingakwaniritsidwe, zindikirani zomwe mukufuna kuti muzikwaniritsa, ndi zomwe mungapereke ... Izi zidzakuthandizani kuthetsa bwino maganizo anu.
5. Yang'anani pa interlocutor, koma osati mwachindunji, koma pakati pawo.
Mungathe kuganizira zomwe mumanena, osati zomwe mukuwerenga pamaso pake ...
Iwe ndiwe wopsa mtima
Njira yopulumukira ndiyo kuphunzira kukhala ndi maganizo anu komanso kuthetsa vutoli.
1. Musagwirizane ndi zodzinenera.
Mukamazisunga nokha, zimakhala zoopsa kwambiri kuti mutaya. Kulankhula za zomwe mumanena, mumadziteteza kupewa kuzunzika kwa mkwiyo.
2. Phunzirani kufotokoza malingaliro anu momveka bwino.
Tchulani malingaliro omwe amakuvutitsani inu. Popanda kudandaula kapena kudzudzula, nenani momveka bwino: "Ndili ndi mavuto kuntchito, ndikuwotchera ndipo sindikudziwa choti ndichite."
3. Pumulani.
Ubongo umasowa nthawi yopanga chisankho ndikuyendetsa mkhalidwewo. Pezani plexus ya dzuwa: tenga mpweya wolimba, gwirani mpweya wanu kwa masekondi pang'ono, tuluka ndi kuyembekezera musanathenso kupuma. Nthawi ndi nthawi, mutseke maso kwa masekondi 2-3: kuchotsa zizindikiro zowona kumachepetsa mpweya.
4. Njira "X, Y, Z".
Katswiri wa zamaganizo a ku America, Haim Ginott, akulangiza kuti adziwe mawu ake pa chiwembuchi: "Pamene munachita (X), ndinamva (a) Y, ndipo panthawi imeneyo ndimafuna kuti muchite (a) Z." Mwachitsanzo: "Pamene munandinyalanyaza chifukwa chochedwa, ndinamva kuti ndine wolakwa. Ndibwino kuti mundikumbatire m'malo momandidzula. "
5. Gwiritsani dzanja lanu lothandizira.
Musanayankhe zachiwawa zankhanza, funsani "wotsutsa": "Kodi muli ndi vuto linalake?" Kapena mumuuzeni kuti: "Ndikuyamba kuchita mantha, tiyeni tisiye, tithetse".
Ndiwe wotenga mtima
Momwemo mumakhudzidwa ndi maganizo komanso mawu odzudzula, ndikuyamikira. Njira yotuluka ndiyo kukhazikitsa ubale wabwino ndi anthu.
1. Musadzipangire nokha.
Mukuda nkhawa kwambiri ndi zomwe ena amaganiza za inu. Yesetsani "kuchoka" kwa inu nokha ndi kusonyeza chifundo (chifundo). Phunzirani kudziyika nokha mu nsapato za munthu wina. Kodi akuganiza chiyani? Kodi chikuchitika chiani? Kusintha koteroko kumbali ya maonekedwe kumathandiza kusintha chiyanjano.
2. Musayese kuti aliyense akukondeni.
Nthawi zina muyenera kutenga mwayi ndikuvomereza kuti wina sakonda zochita zanu, koma wina amakakamiza moyo. N'zosatheka kupewa kupezeka kwa mikangano, kutsutsa, kusagwirizana kwa anthu. Mukamadziwa bwino izi, zimakhala zosavuta kuti muzilandile, ndipo zina zimakuvutani kukunyengererani.
3. Yesetsani kupeza "zovuta".
Lembani mndandanda wa zochitika zomwe mumakhala pachiopsezo, ndi mawu omwe amachititsa kuti musakhale ndi makhalidwe oyenera. Poyang'ananso ndi iwo kachiwiri, mukhoza kuwaphunzira osati kutayika.
4. Pewani ziwonetsero zamagulu.
Kuti ndidzipemphere mwadongosolo ("Ndikuyenera kupanga ntchito!") Kapena mawu ochepa ("Ndikudziwa kuti ndidzakhala moyo wanga wonse (...)" simungapindule: mumamva kuti muli ndi mlandu chifukwa cha mavuto anu, ndipo izi zimafooketsa wanu mphamvu komanso sapereka chigonjetso.