Taganizirani kapena musaganizire za mkazi mmodzi yemwe ali ndi zaka 45, yemwe ali ndi mwamuna koma alibe ana?
Mkazi yemwe sanafune mwadala kuti akhale ndi ana zaka makumi asanu kapena makumi awiri zapitazo adatembenuzidwa kukhala wotayika. Ndipo, zoona, mabwenzi atsopano adakakamiza amayi ambiri, kukayikira kuti angathe kukhala ndi amayi awo osasangalala mwadzidzidzi.
M'nthaŵi yathu ino, kupanikizika kumeneku sikungatheke konse, koma pang'onopang'ono kuwonongeka. Amayi akuyamba kuwoneka ngati kusankha kwa mkazi aliyense, osati ntchito yake yopatulika. Amayi ochepa omwe amasankha kukhala opanda mwana salinso akukumana ndi chilango monga poyamba ndipo nthawi zambiri amatha kudalira thandizo. Mawu olakwika oti "wopanda mwana" amaloledwa pang'ono ndi pang'ono ndi "opanda ana". Tsatanetsataneyi ndi yolondola kuposa momwe akazi amachitira ndi moyo umene adasankha okha.
Kodi amai okhaokha amathetsa bwanji vuto la kusungulumwa kwa amayi ali wamkulu?
Akatswiri a zamaganizo omwe anafunsa akazi omwe amakhala opanda ana adapeza kuti ambiri amakhala abwino kwa ana ndipo amawakonda, koma amayamikira mbali zina za moyo makamaka ntchito zawo kapena kuyankhulana ndi mabwenzi ndi abwenzi. Maphwandowa amathandiza kwambiri miyoyo yawo. Akazi oterewa amayamikira maubwenzi ogwirizana ndipo amawopa kuti pakudza ana izi zidzatha. Amagwiranso ntchito ufulu wawo, ndipo njira imeneyi ya moyo yomwe imawathandiza kusankha mofulumira, mwayi wochita zinthu mwanzeru. Amakhulupirira kuti sangathe kupambana m'dera lina la moyo. Makamaka, kafukufuku wina wasonyeza kuti akazi omwe alibe ana nthawi zambiri amaphunzira bwino ndipo amasonyeza chidwi chawo pantchito yawo. Amakhalanso opambana kwambiri mmenemo ndipo amakhulupirira kuti amayi sangawapatse kukhutira koteroko. Amayi ambiri amakhulupirira kuti ntchito sagwirizane ndi ana, kuti ngakhale ndi ukwati wolingana, ana adzakhalabe udindo wa amayi.
Zindikirani-kaya malo omwe muli osungulumwa azimayi ali ndi chidziwitso chanu.
Katswiri wa zamaganizo adzakuthandizani kusankha mwanzeru. Makamaka, ngati mukuvutika ndi mikangano yosathetsedweratu, komanso musaganize mokwanira kuti ndi chiyani chomwe chimakhalapo. Chigawo cha akazi ali ndi lingaliro lolakwika kwambiri kuti ndondomeko ya kulera ndi kusamala imatanthawuza kubwerera kwa chirichonse ndi kulandira kopanda kanthu. Gawo lina likuwopa njira yobereka. Ena mwa iwo alipo omwe adakali achichepere amasamalira alongo aang'ono ndi abale awo, kapena achibale awo odwala, ndipo tsopano akuganiza kuti adzakhala okwanira. Ndizomvetsa chisoni kwambiri ngati mukuganiza kuti musakhale ndi mwana yemwe mumavomereza pogonjetsedwa ndi matenda enaake akale. Pankhaniyi pamene simukudziwa chifukwa ichi, chikhoza kukusokonezani, ngati sichoncho chonse, ndiye gawo lalikulu la moyo. Atsikana ang'onoang'ono amakakamizidwa kusamalira wina amene amalephera kukhala ana, tsopano atakula, akhoza kudziletsa okha kukhala amayi. Kulimbana ndi mavuto a mtundu umenewu kudzakuthandizani njira ya chithandizo. Ngakhale musasinthe chisankho chanu, chidzakhala cholingalira komanso chidziwitso.
Lembani ndi chisankho mpaka zaka makumi atatu
Kutsegula m'mimba kuyenera kubwezeretsedwa kwa zaka makumi atatu, kuti ngati mwadzidzidzi mukhale ndi mwana musamalume. Si zachilendo kuti zosankha zomwe munapanga mukakhala pafupi zaka makumi awiri kenako zimayamba kuoneka zolakwika kwa inu. Vomerezani, zidzakhala zovuta kuti inu musamaoneke nokha "khwangwala woyera" muzunguliro la amayi omwe ali ndi ana, ndipo ena alibe. Ndipo awa si abwenzi a kusukulu okha, komanso ogwira nawo ntchito kuntchito, ndi bwalo lakulankhulana kwanu. Mwini wokha, kumverera kotereku kungafanizidwe ndi momwe aliyense alili pabanja, ndipo ndinu nokha ngati chala. Ndipo ndikuloleni kuti mukhale bwino ndikukhala omasuka kuti mukhale ndi moyo, komabe timamva bwino pamene tikuyamba kuchoka pa phukusi.