Funso lokhazikika "Kodi zonse ziri bwino ndi ine?" Kodi nthawi zambiri amaifunsidwa ndi mkazi aliyense pankhani ya kugonana. Anthu ambiri amamva nthawi ndi nthawi kuti, mwinamwake iwo sali angwiro pa zomwe amalingalira, zomwe amakonda kapena, osakonda pa kugonana. Zimakhala zovuta kuti amvetsetse kuti funso la "chizoloŵezi" m'mundawu ndilolumikizana kwambiri. Chomwe chimakhala chachilendo kwa chimodzi, chingakhale kusintha kwenikweni kwa wina, ndipo mosiyana.
Kusagonjetsa ndi matenda omwe sanaganizidwe
Ndipotu, si matenda ambiri monga chikhalidwe chakumanga ubale ndi anthu ena. Kwa amuna, mantha amasonyeza kawirikawiri poopa osati kugonana mwachindunji, koma pachibwenzi, moyandikana kwambiri, komanso kwa nthawi yaitali. Akazi ndi omwe amachititsa kuti anthu azichita zachiwerewere nthawi zambiri poopa kugonana.
Zomwe zimayambitsa chiopsezo zingakhale zosiyana - chikhalidwe, maganizo, kugonana. Kuchotsa matendawa ndi kovuta kwambiri, muzovuta kwambiri, mukusowa thandizo la katswiri wa maganizo, ntchito yayitali ndi yovuta ndi mkazi ndi kufufuza mwatsatanetsatane wa moyo wake wakale. Miyambi ya mantha (kuphatikizapo zovuta zonse zamaganizo) zimayambidwa msinkhu. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amachiona kuti ndi khalidwe lachibadwa chifukwa choleredwa ndi amayi amodzi, osaganizira bwino. Ndi khalidwe la amayi lomwe limamupangitsa mwana wake kusakhulupirira kuti munthu wina sangayembekezere. Sakhulupirira wina aliyense, kuyesera kuti asadalire aliyense mu moyo.
Mochepa nthawi zambiri intimofobimybyvayut ngakhale anthu amphamvu komanso odzidalira kwambiri. Mwa njirayi, nkotheka kuti Kazanova mwiniwakeyo anazunzidwa. Matendawa, osati chilakolako chake chogonana, adapanga azimayi osauka omwe akusintha nawo mofulumira. Munthu aliyense-donujanoitsya amakanidwa. Ndipo munthu woopsya samakhulupirira kukhulupirika ndi ubwenzi ngakhale. Kotero kusinthasintha kwake kosalekeza kwa miseche, amaoneka ngati "inshuwalansi" motsutsana ndi zolephera zomwe zingatheke. Zochitika zochepa chabe - pamene mkazi kapena mwamuna sagwirizana ndi maganizo aliwonse, amawopa chiwawa, amawona kuti ndifooka.Cifukwa chake, amayamba kukhala opanda maganizo, ndiko kuti, malingaliro awo, opweteka. Mu kuya kwa moyo, anthu oterowo amawopa nthawi zonse. Ndipo kuseri kwa kudzikweza kosalekeza komanso ngakhale kudzidalira kumatsutsana mosiyana ndi malingaliro, - kumangokhalira kudzidalira nokha, mu zoyenera.
Intimofobmuzhchiny
Zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kuthana ndi munthu woteroyo. Ngakhale mutatha kufooketsa chitetezo chake, nthawi zonse mumatha kudzipatula, kuzizira komanso ngakhale kudzikonda. Pankhaniyi, ndikukhulupirirani, mwamuna mwiniwakeyo akuvutika. Chifukwa chake, atayesa njira zambiri kuti akonze moyo wawo, akutsutsa kuyamba kugwiritsa ntchito njira zenizeni za chitetezo cha m'maganizo: amawona mkazi ngati njira yothetsera kugonana. Iwo, kawirikawiri, iwo amachenjeza moona mtima kuti: "Tidzakhala ndi kugonana kwakukulu, koma sitiyembekezera zambiri!".
Pofuna kuopseza anthu ambiri, akatswiri a zamaganizo amalangiza mkazi kuti amupatse ufulu wochuluka. Musati muwonetse malingaliro anu, chifukwa mwamsanga pamene mantha akuzindikira kuti akuphatikizidwa kwa inu, iye nthawi yomweyo anasiyanitsa ndi inu. Mwinamwake, iyi ndi njira yabwino. Amuna oterewa ali angwiro kuti azigonana mosavuta, koma osati chifukwa cha udindo wa wokondedwa m'moyo. Ndibwino kuti musapitirizebe kutero, padzakhala mavuto ochepa. Kuti muphunzitsenso anthu akuluakulu, zingatheke kumagulu. Ndiye mungatani kuti mukhale osasamala mukasankha mnzanu wokhazikika, bwanji kuti musasokoneze nthawi ndi mitsempha pa munthu wotere amene sangakhale ndi inu nthawi yaitali?
Choyamba, muyenera kuzindikira nthawi yomweyo kuti amuna akuwopsyeza. Chachiwiri, yesetsani kuyesa chibwenzi chawo mofanana ndi momwe munthu amawerengera. Akuti chifukwa chophweka ndi kumpsompsona ndizing'onozing'ono zowonongeka? Ndiye kuti vasoni sayenera kutanthauza chilichonse chovuta. Chachitatu, kumbukirani: musaganize ndi chidaliro kuti ndi inu amene mungathe kubweza "womanizer". Ndizosatheka kusintha munthu wamkulu kuti akhale yekha. Chachinai, mungasankhe munthu wotereyo ngati mnzanu wapamtima - ndizofunikira kwa izi: Ngati mukuwopa kukonda naye, khalani kutali ndi amuna oterewa, ngakhale osayang'ana chikondi, kuchenjezeratu ndi chivomezi.
Ethnophobes
Mkazi wa intimofobiya amadalira zaka, komanso chitukuko cha kugonana samoshenshchiny. Ndi chinthu chimodzi ngati mukuwopa zogonana pa 16, ndipo zindikirani - pa 30 koloko. Atsikana ang'onoang'ono sangakhale okonzeka kugonana pogonana, izi ndizochizoloŵezi, nthawi zambiri "matenda" amenewa amakhala ndi ukalamba. Koma amayi omwe ali ndi zaka 30, akuvutika chifukwa chokana kugonana, pali zifukwa zabwino. Ngati simunakhalepo nthawi yayitali komanso mumadzimva kuti mukunyansidwa ndi mantha, yesetsani kuyankha mafunso otsatirawa moona mtima:
- Kodi zinayamba zakhala zikuchitika kuti mudakali aang'ono munakhudzidwa ndi kugonana, ndipo lingaliro la zakuthupizi limakhudzidwa ndichisoni ndi losasangalatsa kwambiri pano?
- Kodi mumakonda thupi lanu, kapena pali chinachake chomwe chimakuchititsani manyazi?
- Kodi amaphunzitsa Livas kuyambira ali mwana kuti kugonana ndi koipa komanso kolakwika?
- Ganizirani zomwe ziti zichitike ngati mutakhala paubwenzi wapamtima ndi wina? Kodi mukumva bwanji mukamacheza?
Mayankho oona mtima adzakuthandizani kumvetsa zomwe zimayambitsa mantha anu. Kotero mutha kuwachotsa mwamsanga. Komabe, ndi bwino kuchita izi mothandizidwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo. Akazi amavutika ndi mantha komanso "ozama" kuposa amuna. Ambiri a iwo amapindula ndalama, amapanga ntchito, kotero safuna munthu wopereka chakudya. Mkazi woteroyo ndi yabwino kwambiri kukhala ndi anzake "osakhalitsa". Amayi ambiri osakwatira amatha ngakhale kubereka mwana "kwa iwo okha," akukhulupirira kuti ali ndi mphamvu zokwanira komanso ndalama zokwanira. Ngakhale kulimbika kwa munthu wosungulumwa, mwana m'banja losakwanira nthawi zonse amalandira maphunziro amodzi. Kuyambira pano pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya mavuto-yofunika kapena ayi.
Zoona, panali milandu, ngakhale ngakhale anthu omwe sankakhala ndi chiyembekezo chachikulu mwadzidzidzi anachira popanda kuthandizidwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo. Ndizotheka ngati munthu woteroyo amakumana ndi chikondi chenicheni. Chodabwitsachi sichinaphunzire mpaka mapeto, koma chawonetsedwa kale: chilakolako ndi chikondi choyenera chingakonzedwe ngakhale ndi maganizo okhudza ubongo mu ubwana. Chiritso cha chikondi siichi, koma chenicheni.