Mwina amayi onse akudera nkhaŵa ndi funsoli: Ndi liti pamene kuli koyenera kuyamba mgwirizano wapamtima ndi mnzanu watsopano - ndikoyenera tsiku loyamba kapena muyenera kuyembekezera miyezi ingapo? Taphunzira lingaliro lachimuna ponena za funso lopanda chidwi.
Pali malingaliro awiri otsutsa. Woyamba akunena kuti mofulumira mkazi agona ndi mwamuna, kuchepa kwao kumakhala kochepa. Ndipo chachiwiri chimatsutsana: ngati ndikumverera kwenikweni, ndiye bwanji kuchedwa ndi kugonana?
Funso ndi lakuti kugona pa tsiku loyamba, ndipo nthawi zambiri pamene mukuyamba kuyamba kugonana ndi mnzanu watsopano, kumakhala kofunika kwambiri mukazindikira kuti mukukondana kwambiri. Mzere wabwino pakati pa maubwenzi ophweka ndi maubwenzi apamtima ndi osavuta kuwoloka, koma ndizo zomwe zichitike pambuyo pake - sizili bwino nthawi zonse.
Pamene anthu ayamba kukomana, amadziwa nthawi zonse zomwe akuwerengera. Mmodzi mwa zibwenzi atayamba kunena kuti "Sindikudziwa, tiyeni tiwone chomwe chidzachitike", mwinamwake ali wochenjera kapena amawopa kuti asokoneze malingaliro okhumudwa, omwe ndi osavuta kuwononga ngakhale ndi mawu osakhalitsa, osati kungokhala ndi kugonana.
Malinga ndi kafukufuku wa zachipatala, gawo limodzi mwa magawo atatu a amayi nthawi imodzi anagonana pa tsiku loyamba, koma theka la iwo akudandaula. Komabe, ngati mkazi akukana kugonana pa tsiku loyamba, ndiye kuti mwinamwake mwamuna akhoza kupita naye tsiku lachiwiri ndi 50x50.
Wolemba mndandanda wa kafukufukuyu anachita kafukufuku wochepa pakati pa akazi omwe ankawadziŵa ndipo adapeza kuti anayamba kuchita chiwerewere ndi zida zawo komanso zomwe zimatha.
Choncho tiyeni tikambirane zomwe tingayembekezere mkazi ngati atagona ndi mwamuna tsiku loyamba, patatha sabata imodzi, masabata awiri, mwezi umodzi, miyezi iwiri, miyezi itatu kapena kuposerapo.
Tsiku loyamba
Monga akunena, pamtunda. Kapena kuchokera ku sitima kupita ku mpira. Anthu omwe amakonda chikondi pa tsiku loyamba, samangokonda kugonana okha, komanso amadzidalira okha ndipo sangakhumudwitse wina ndi mzake.
Chikondi chotero ndi chidaliro chingathe kuchitira umboni pa zinthu ziwiri. Kapena kuti sipadzakhalanso mgwirizano ndipo uwu ndi "wokondedwa wa usiku umodzi", kapena chilakolako cha mphepo yamkuntho, chomwecho, koma chidzadutsa mwamsanga pamene chinayamba.
Koma ukwati ndi wotheka. Makamaka ngati mkazi mwadzidzidzi amatenga mimba. Ngati chikwati chimachitika ndi zina, chifukwa chodabwitsa kwambiri, ndiye kuti sichidzatha nthawi yaitali.
Sabata imodzi
Mawuwo ndi abwino kwambiri. Panthawiyi, mutha kukomana 2-4, ndikudziwana, yesani malingaliro anu.
Komabe, mofanana, mwayi woti ubalewo ufike ku ofesi yolembera, sikokwanira. Pafupifupi 20%.
Kwenikweni, kugonana mu sabata ndi kuyamba kwa buku laling'ono lomwe limagwiritsa ntchito kugonana komweko. Izi ndi maphunziro abwino musanakhale ndi chibwenzi chenicheni.
Masabata awiri
Chiyambi chabwino cha ubale wautali ndi wolimba. 100% palibe chitsimikizo, koma osachepera 50% angaperekedwe.
Ngati mkazi (ndi mwamuna) sanagwiritsidwe ntchito pazinthu zogonana, ndiye kuti masabata awiri ndi nthawi yabwino kuti muganizire mozama za zomwe ziri, mwinamwake munthu amene mumamufuna.
Mwezi umodzi
Patapita mwezi umodzi, pa 80%, amayi okhawo amachititsa kugonana.
Akufuna kusonyeza amuna momwe aliri pabedi, ndipo nthawi yomweyo ndikuthokoza zomwe wokondedwayo akuyembekezera kwa nthawi yayitali.
Mwezi umodzi wa kudziletsa umayambitsa chiyanjano cholimba. Othandizana amadziwana kale bwino ndikuzindikira kufunika kwa maubwenzi.
Pambuyo pofufuza za kugonana: mwaphunzira ngati munthu angathe kuchita popanda kugonana kwa kanthawi, kaya mulibe chidwi ndi iye ngati ayi kapena ayi.
Izi zikutanthauza kuti pafupifupi mwezi umodzi ukuyembekezera akazi osakondera. Ndipo ngati ubale ukakhala pachimake ndikupita kumtunda wapamwamba, ukhoza kupereka 70% kutsimikizira kuti adzatha ndi ukwati.
Miyezi iwiri
Zimakhala zovuta kulingalira munthu amene sasiya kapena kusintha mkazi, ngati panthawiyi amasiyidwa popanda kugonana.
Izi zikhoza kusonyeza kuti ali wokondana kwambiri ndipo akudikira nthawi yonse imene akukonda.
Kuyambira miyezi itatu
Banja ili ndi chikondi. Kugonana sikofunika kwambiri monga ubwenzi, malingaliro, maubwenzi, zinthu zochepa komanso maholide ang'onoang'ono. Iwo, ziribe kanthu momwe akulira, akupangidwira wina ndi mnzake.
Zoonadi, kuthekera kwa kugonana kumakhala kwakukulu, ngati palibe nthawi yochuluka ya chibwenzi, koma ngati abwenzi akudikirira nthawi yofunikira, m'tsogolomu adzalandira mphotho.
Inde, pa nthawi imodzi mwa amayi 20 munthu amatha kugona komanso pambuyo pa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, ndikuponyera mkazi.
Izi ndi zowonongeka kwa amuna, omwe amakhumudwa, "kupeza okha", koma pokwaniritsa zolinga zomwe ali nazo angathe kuchita chilichonse.
Kawirikawiri, zimangodalira momwe mumamvera pa nkhani yogonana. Ngati mumangokonda zomwe mukuchitazo komanso kuti musamavutike chifukwa chakuti mnzanuyo adagonana ndikusiya, ndiye kuti simudzavutika ndi kulira.
Ngati mukugonana - malo obwenzi ndi ofunika kwambiri pakati pa anthu, ndibwino kuti musayesedwe nokha kuyambira pachiyambi ndikuyesa "kuchita chirichonse mosavuta" - simungasinthe nokha.
Ngakhale, ngati chiri chikondi, ndiye kusiyana kotani, kodi inu munayamba kuti?
Pamapeto pa nkhaniyi, ndikufuna ndikulemba zofunikira. Choyamba, palibe amene akunena kuti ziwerengero izi ziyenera kutengedwa ngati choonadi chenicheni.
Komanso, izi sizikukhudzana ndi anthu omwe sanakhalepo ndi kugonana musanayambe (kugonana koyamba m'moyo kumayenera nkhani yapadera).
Chachitatu, ndithudi, chinthu chogonana chimakhudza nthawi ya chiyanjano.
Koma pa nthawi yomweyo, palibe amene angatsutse kuti ndizofunikira. Tangoganizani za zomwe mumayang'ana kuchokera pachibwenzi musanagone.
Zonsezi, ngakhale mu bwalo ndi zaka za XXI, kugonana sikufanana ndi chakudya chamadzulo. Pamapeto pake, ngakhale tisanadye chakudya, nthawi zonse timayang'ana nthawi, tikudzifunsa kuti ndibwino kuti tifike nthawi yoyamba (kapena yotsatira).
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