Mwachikhalidwe, nyengo yachinsinsi ya mwanayo ndi zaka 10 mpaka 14. Panthawiyi, makhalidwe achiwerewere amayamba kukhala: tsitsi lashiki, kumaliseche, zomera pamaso, mawere amakula. Ana amasinthiranso mkati. Chiwawa chosagwirizana ndi ena ndipo, nthawi zambiri, kukhala ndi makolo kumakula kwambiri. Kodi makolo amamva bwanji msinkhu wautali wa mwana? Mwa njira zosiyanasiyana. N'zotheka, agogo aakazi akadandaula kuti "m'nthawi yathu ino inali yabwino", mungathe kuletsa ndikupita ku nkhondo yaikulu ya mibadwo. Koma ndi bwino kumvetsetsa mwanayo, kumuyang'anitsitsa, kumadziyika yekha, kumvetsa mavuto ake.
Kodi makolo amatha bwanji kupulumuka zaka zapakatikati za mwana?
Choyamba, ndikofunikira kukumbukira zochitika za nthawi ino.
- Mwanayo amasiya kukhala mwana, koma sakhala wamkulu. Mahomoni, malingaliro, kumverera kumatuluka. Zamoyo zithupsa zili ndi zovuta, zimakhala zovuta kumvetsa momwe ziriri zotheka kukhala ngati mwana, mu-monga wamkulu. Pali kuyambiranso kwa maganizo ndi zikhalidwe zakale. Pali kusamvetseka, zovuta, chikhumbo chokhala ngati wina aliyense, koma, panthawi imodzimodzi, musachoke ku gulu la anzanu, omwe maganizo awo ndi ofunikira kwambiri. Kodi makolo ayenera kuchita chiyani? Ingopitirizani kukonda ndi kumuthandiza mwana wanu.
- Ludzu la ufulu wodziimira ndi ufulu, chikhumbo chochotsa chisamaliro cha makolo nthawi zambiri chimayambitsa chisokonezo. Kamodzi kokha, mwana womvera tsopano akuteteza maganizo ake pokhapokha. Amatha kuchitira nkhanza uphungu uliwonse umene adatsata mwatsatanetsatane. Kumvetsa mwanayo ndi sitepe yoyamba yothetsera vutoli. Tiyenera kuvomereza kuti mwanayo ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi maganizo ake pa moyo, ngakhale ali makolo osiyana. Muloleni iye akhale ndi ufulu pa zosankha zake ndi zochita zake ndi ufulu wochita zolakwitsa. Musamachepetse ufulu wake, kumumangirira, kumudziwa zofuna zake, ndikukakamiza, mwachitsanzo, mmalo moyankhulana ndi abwenzi kuti azivina kapena kuchita nawo nyimbo. Ndi bwino kupeza zomwe amakonda. Koma izi sizikutanthauza kuti tonse tiyenera kulola. Pambuyo pake, panthawi yokula, chipatso choletsedwa ndi chokoma. Wachinyamata angathe kukhala ndi nthawi yocheza ndi anthu okayikitsa, kubwerera pakati pausiku, kusuta fodya ndi mowa, mmalo mowerenga m'magulu kapena magawo, kukhala ndi luso lake. Ndiyenera kuchita chiyani pa nkhaniyi? Choyamba, musadandaule ndipo musapange scandals. Lankhulani naye za zotsatira zowonongeka za zochita zoterezi, pomwe simukuganizira za tsogolo lakutali, koma panopa. Mwachitsanzo, pamene mano osuta amasanduka chikasu ndipo fungo losasangalatsa kuchokera pakamwa likuwonekera. Sikoyenera kuvomereza zinthu zonyansa, kusiya mtunda wina womwe umaperekedwa ndi zaka ukhale pakati pa iwe.
- Mavuto ambiri a achinyamata omwe akuwoneka poyamba ndi osayenerera, makamaka pokhudzana ndi kutsata kunja kwabwino. Koma si zophweka. Pa zaka 12 mpaka 15 pali chidwi chosadziwika kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Mwanayo akhoza kusiya saladi omwe amamukonda kwambiri komanso amasamba katatu pa tsiku, kuti asungwana ake amumvere. Mwanayo amakhala wopikisana ndi mayi, pomenyera bambo ake kutsimikizira kuti nayenso ndi mkazi. Koma pa kusasitsa pali kusintha kwa thupi, chifukwa "mwana wokongola" amakhala "bakha wonyansa". Nsanje za maonekedwe zikuwawa kwambiri kwa iwo. Choncho, tiyenera kuwonjezera kudzidalira kwa mwana wachinyamata, posonyeza zomwe adachita.
Chikondi chokha, kumvetsetsa ndi kuleza mtima kumathandiza makolo kuthana ndi mavuto onse a zaka zapakatikati za ana.