Amuna :
1. Amuna ambiri sachita zambiri chifukwa cha kusudzulana, chifukwa adalota kuti adzakhalanso aufulu komanso kuti adzisamalire udindo wa banja komanso ana. Kuwonjezera apo, iwo amafuna kuti akumane ndi mkazi wabwino, wamng'ono yemwe samangotengeka mwamsanga ngati mkazi, ndipo amuna awa amazindikira malingaliro awo ndi maloto mwachindunji ndi iye. Amakhulupirira kuti moyo wa banja umalepheretsa kukhazikitsidwa kwa malingaliro. Zaka ziwiri "zikuluzikulu" zimawatsogolera ku lingaliro lakuti banja lidali bwinobe, kotero, zaka ziwiri zoyambirira, amunawa amakwatiwanso (ena, zoona, kwa akazi awo akale), koma zaka zambiri ayamba kumvetsa kuti mkazi woyamba anali wabwino kuposa wachiŵiri, ngakhale kuti sadandaula kuthetsa banja.
2. N'chiyani chimabweretsa chisudzulo pambuyo pa moyo wautali wa wina, wamng'ono, gulu la amuna? Amakhala ndi ufulu, amasintha wokondedwa wawo, samakwatirana kwa nthawi yaitali, pomwe sazindikira kuti ataya zaka zabwino kwambiri pamoyo wawo, ndipo ali ndi zaka 50 iwo amamva mwachidwi moyo wa banja mwa iwo, ndipo osankhidwawo ali ochepa kale, ndipo iye mwini wataya "katundu" mawonedwe ". Mwamuna uyu, ngati ali ndi chuma chambiri, amapeza mkazi wachinyamata chifukwa cha nsanje ndi abwenzi ake. Koma "daimondi ya unyamata, kukongola ndi kutsitsima kumafuna kudula bwino, ndiko kuti, ndalama zambiri, si kwa banja lamphamvu, izo zingapangitse kufanana kwa izo kwa anzako ndi mabwenzi, kuphatikizapo mantha amuyaya a kusakhulupirika. Ndipo amuna omwe alibe chuma amakhala okhutira chifukwa adasokoneza kugonana ndi anthu omwe sagwirizana nawo omwe amafunira ndalama zamaganizo, zakuthupi, zamaganizo ndi zachiwerewere (poyerekeza ndi akazi awo); Chiyembekezo cha "moyo waufulu" sichinali cholungamitsidwa, ndipo mu moyo wovuta panalibe chithandizo, chifukwa munthu ndi tsoka, kotero munthu uyu akumvetsa kuti banja loyambirira linali bwino kuposa lachiwiri.
3. Pali gulu lachitatu la amuna amene amasudzulana amachititsa kuvutika maganizo, zomwe zimayenderana ndizoledzera, kusungulumwa, kusokonezeka, kusowa chidwi pa ntchito komanso moyo wamba. Udindo wa banja lakale, kumene iwo adakana, unakula kukhala udindo kwa iwo eni, ndipo sikuti aliyense angathe kuthana ndi izi. Pachikhalidwe ichi, katswiri wa zamaganizo sangathe kuchita popanda. Moyo wa banja kwa abambo amtundu uwu umakhalanso chilumba chokondweretsa kumene akufuna kubwerera, koma nthawi zambiri ndichedwa kwambiri, choncho ziwerengero zosawerengeka zimakhala ndi zaka makumi asanu ndi zisanu (ngakhale kuti zifukwa za imfa zoyambirira ndizosiyana, koma imodzi, ndithudi, chisudzulo).
Akazi:
1. Kusudzulana kwa amayi ambiri ndi vuto lomwe likuphatikizapo kuvutika maganizo. Lingaliro la "chifukwa chiyani tsopano limakhala", "omwe tsopano akukhalamo", nthawi zambiri amatsogolera mkazi ku chisankho kuti asiye moyo wopanda pakewu, ambiri a iwo amapita ku chipatala, izi ziri bwino, pambuyo pake amamvetsa kuti moyo ukupitirira, Tiyenera kulera ana kapena kuyamba kumanga banja latsopano.
2. Pambuyo pa kusudzulana, mkaziyo sakhala wosangalala komanso wamtendere, ngakhale atakhala ndi banja lachiwiri, chifukwa amakhala ndi mantha a kutaya mwamuna wake, kapena mantha kuyanjana ndi abambo ake omwe ali ndi bambo awo kuchokera m'banja loyamba. Mwatsoka, ukwati wachiwiri kwa mkazi si wabwino nthawi zonse kuposa woyamba, ngakhale pali zosiyana.
Moyo wautali wautali, pamene anthu amatchedwa "okalamba" wina ndi mzake m'maganizo ndi m'thupi: ali ndi chimwemwe chodziwika ndi mavuto omwe amachitika, abwenzi ndi achibale omwe amadziwika nawo, ndithudi, ana - mwadzidzidzi amayamba ndi chisudzulo. Kuzama kwa chilonda ichi ndi chachikulu kwambiri (makamaka kwa akazi), kuti ngakhale mothandizidwa ndi madokotala a psychotherapists ndi zovuta kuchiritsa, kotero "zipsera" zidzatsala mpaka kutha kwa moyo mu moyo wa munthu amene sakufuna kusudzulana.