Magazini ophweka opanda mantha ndi kunyoza momasuka ufulu wa kugonana atatu pamodzi, kapena kumvetsetsa ubwino ndi zovuta zonse zamagetsi. Pafupifupi mwana aliyense wa sukulu amadziwa kuti ndi zovuta zotani, momwe angatetezere ku mimba yosafuna.
Tonsefe tili omasulidwa, osakhalanso ndi manyazi pa mau oti kugonana, mbolo, maliseche. Chidziwitso cha kugonana chasintha. Ndizobwino, kodi malingaliro a moyo wapamtima asintha kwambiri? Kawirikawiri, tsopano funsoli likutsutsana ngati kugonana kuli kotheka kokha pambuyo pa ukwati.
Ndipo chochititsa chidwi, ngakhale kuti anthu ambiri akudziŵa za kugonana komanso kudziŵa kugonana, pali ochirikiza mwansanje kuti akhale oyera. Awa ndi anthu omwe amatsatira makhalidwe okhwima, kusunga mwakhama dongosolo laukwati; anthu achipembedzo kwambiri, omwe chikhulupiriro chawo sichilola kukhala ndi zibwenzi pamaso paukwati. Ambiri mwa anthuwa, khulupirirani kuti m'dziko lathu lamakono, izi sizingatheke, sizinthu zenizeni ndipo palibe amene akusowa.
Othandizira maubwenzi oyera, kuteteza ziphunzitso zawo, kudalira kuti mwambo umenewu sunayambe mwadzidzidzi. Kwa nthawi yaitali akhala akukhulupirira kuti mtsikanayo asanakwatirane ayenera kukhala wopanda chilema. Ndi malingaliro awa, ukwatiwo wokha umakhala chofunika kwambiri m'moyo, osati kwa iwo amene ankachita nawo ufulu waulere. Mwina pali tirigu wabwino mu izi, koma funso likutsutsanabe.
Ngati mukukumbukira nthawi zonse zofanana kwambiri za "zaka zakubadwa", ndi angati okwatirana omwe achita ukwati kuti azikondana? Malingaliro okhudza ukwati anali okhwima ngakhale kuti anali kutsutsana. Ndimagwiritsa ntchito makalata ndi mnzanu wa PI Tchaikovsky, Baroness von Meck: "Ndikuyang'ana pa banja ngati choipa chosapeŵeka chomwe sichitha kupeŵa, kotero zonse zomwe zatsala ndizo kusankha bwino." Palibe ndemanga. Monga lamulo, oimira "kumanga nyumba" ambiri amakana mbali zamagulu a kugonana, kufotokozera izi ndizofunikira kuti muzitha kugonana monga njira yopitilira mtunduwu. Zoona, iwo amakhala chete kuti kulephera kukhala namwali - iyi ndi imodzi mwa njira zowonjezera zogwira mtima mwamunthu. Inde, zikutanthawuza kuti mmodzi wa abwenzi, mwachinsinsi - mwamuna, kale ali ndi ubale wapamtima. Mwina, chifukwa choyamba kugonana ndi mkazi nthawi zambiri kumakhala ndi ululu, kumakhalanso chikumbutso chapadera kwa iye pa udindo waukulu wa amuna. Zoona, izi ndizongoganiza. Koma sitimapanga cholinga chofikira ku choonadi. Ndimangofuna kuti ndiwone momwe kugonana kumakhalira pambuyo paukwati.
Tsopano pakati pa anyamata amakono pali chizoloŵezi, makamaka pakati pa atsikana, mawonekedwe ena a chiyero. Zambiri mwazofalitsa, timapeza mfundo zomwe atsikana akuganiza kuti ayambe kugonana pokhapokha atakwatirana. Apa, zolinga ndi zolinga sizidziwika. Kodi maziko a chikhulupiliro ndi chikhulupiriro chimenechi ndi chiyani? Chomwe chinakhudza chisankho ichi: zikhulupiliro zachipembedzo, kulera mwakuya kwa banja, zikhulupiliro zawe nokha komanso zokhudzana ndi kugonana. Kapena mwinamwake ndi chabe msonkho ku mafashoni, kapena chizoloŵezi chofuna kukopa, motero, nokha.
Kodi atsikana amenewa amaganiza za zomwe zidzachitike pambuyo paukwati? Kodi iye adzakondwa muukwati ndi munthu yemwe amangofuna platonic? Ndi omwe amatsimikizika mosatsimikizirika kuti zolondola za kusankha kudziletsa asanalowe m'banja, zonse ziri bwino. Mphamvu ya chikhulupiliro chawo sichiwalola kuti aganizire za zovuta monga chisangalalo. Ndipo panopa, kumvetsa kwa "chimwemwe" palokha kumasiyana mosiyana ndi iwo omwe amavomereza kuti ali ndi ubale weniweni. Sitidzakhala achinyengo, chifukwa chiyani tibiseni kuti pali zopindulitsa zapadera chifukwa chakuti asanakwatirane ali pachibwenzi cholimba. Kenaka m'miyoyo yawo, kuphatikizapo chikondi ndi chikondi, panali kugonana kokha, osati pogona pakhomo pogaya. Pakadali pano adadziwa wina ndi mzake, amamvetsetsa ndikupanga zogwirizana - ngati kuli koyenera kupita patsogolo ndikubweretsa nkhaniyo ku ukwatiwo. Izi ndizopindulitsa: sipadzakhala banja loonongeka, ana osauka omwe asiyidwa.
Tsopano funso: kodi pali kugonana pambuyo pa ukwati, ife tikhoza kuyankha mosaganizira. Izi zimachitika! Ndikufuna kufotokozera pang'ono za khalidwe la kugonana koteroko. Tangoganizirani kuti ukwatiwu watha, patsogolo pa chinsinsi choyamba chaukwati. Chabwino, ngati chirichonse chikuyenda bwino. Ndipo ngati munthu akumva chisoni: mkazi wabwino watsopano samakhutitsa, ndipo ambiri amaphunzitsa nzeru zonse zogonana sizikufuna. Ndipo simungathe kulemba aphunzitsi pano. Kutsiliza: kaya ambuye, kapena chisudzulo, kapena onse pamodzi. Komabe, tili ndi mkazi wamng'ono. Zitha kuchitika mwadzidzidzi, atangokwatirana, amangozindikira kuti wokondedwa wake ali ndi mbolo yaying'ono, kapena mwamsanga kumaliza. Ndipo malingaliro ogonana ndi zokonda za anthu ena akhoza kungolowera mopanda pake! Zitsanzo za misa. Pano, mikangano, kukwiyitsa ndi kukhumudwa kumayamba, chifukwa cha zonsezi - chiwonongeko, chinyengo ndi kusakhulupirika. Bwato la banja ndikuwoneka akudodometsa. Koma zonsezi zikhoza kupeŵedwa.
Palibe chifukwa chomwe timalimbikitsira chiwerewere! Zonsezi, ziri kwa inu: palibe yemwe angakhoze kukhulupirira, kukopa munthu wodzidalira, wodzidalira. Tangoganizirani ngati kugonana n'kotheka kokha pambuyo pa ukwati: ubwino ndi kuipa kwa vuto ili. Ndipo inu, musanayambe kuchitapo kanthu mwamsanga, muyenera kulingalira mosamala, kuwerengera, kuwerengera kuchuluka kwa chiopsezo. Inde, ndipo "straws podstelit" samavulaza. Chinthu chachikulu sikuthamangira - osati m'malingaliro, kapena muzochita.