Kwenikweni, "nthawi yachiwiri yachisangalalo" nthawi zambiri imatchedwa ulendo pambuyo pa ukwati wachiwiri, pamene okwatirana akukonzekera mwambo weniweni waukwati, momwe iwo amalumbiriranso kukondana ndi kusinthanitsa mphete. Pa malo ambiri oterewa mwambo umenewu ndi umodzi wa mautumiki operekedwa kwa alendo. Ndipo komabe, ndibwino kuti ndikhale ndi moyo?
Komabe, monga mgwirizanowu moyo ukhoza kuchita popanda ukwati, ndipo wachiŵiri wachimwemwe - popanda phwando lapadera. Zokwanira kuti muzisankha kupita kwinakwake kutali ndi dziko lapansi, kapena kuti kunja kwa mzinda, zitsani mafoni ndikupatsana nthawi zonse kwa wina ndi mnzake. Ndipo ubwino wa tchuthi wotere ukhoza kukhala waukulu. Zambiri kotero kuti, ku Malaysia, akuluakulu a boma a Terengganu adalengeza kuti adzabwezera maholide pamodzi ndi mabanja onse pamapeto pake. Komabe, kuti mutenge tchuthi laulere, sikokwanira kungofotokozera cholinga chanu kuti mupatule - muyenera kuyesedwa mwapadera. Malingana ndi oimira boma ku Malaysia, iwo anapita chifukwa chakuti kutha kwa banja "kumapha ana" ndipo "kuli ndi zotsatira zoopsa m'mabanja."
Popanda mphindi zisanu, kusudzulana ndizovuta kwambiri, pano nthawi zambiri ulendo umodzi wopita ku Maldives sungathetse vutoli. Zimakhala zosavuta kukonza phwando lachiwiri (komanso lachitatu ndi lachinayi), kumangomva kuti m'banja "chinachake chimayenda molakwika." Sizidziwikiratu kuti amai ndi omwe akuyambitsa maulendo oterewa: chifukwa chodzidzimutsa kwambiri, kugonana kokongola kumakhala kofanana ndi "barometer" komwe kumakhala kovuta kwambiri pa nyengo ya conjugal. Komabe, chisankho chochoka chiyenera kutengedwera palimodzi, monga ziganizo zina zonse zokhudzana ndi ziwirizi - izi sizikutanthauza.
Chiwiri chachiwiri chauchimwemwe kawirikawiri chimaperekedwa ndi a psychotherapist a m'banja - akawona kuti palibe mavuto aakulu pakati pa awiriwa, ndipo zomwe zilipo zingathe kukonzedwa ndi kukonzedwa koteroko. Makasitomala ambiri, komabe, ayenera kutsimikiza kuti nkoyenera kuyesera, chifukwa ayamba kufunsa mafunso: "Titi tichite chiyani kumeneko? Ndipo ndidzakhala ndi chiyani kuchokera apa? ". Izi zimafunsidwa ndi anthu oganiza bwino, pragmatic omwe akufunafuna phindu mu chirichonse. Kotero iwo amachotsa malingaliro, dziko lalingaliro monga chinthu chosapangidwira. Ndipo apa ndibwino kudalira pa zomwe takumana nazo, osati pa zikhulupiliro: Poyesera kamodzi m'moyo tsiku la tchuthi lomwe silinganyamule zolinga za pragmatic, ngakhale zakudya zoterezi "zimabzalidwa" ngati mankhwala.
Kukhumudwa ndi malingaliro ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe zimatsogolera maanja ku maofesi a psychotherapist ndi mabungwe oyendayenda pofunafuna malo okonda zosangalatsa. Sizobisika kuti zaka zambiri zogonana pamodzi, chikondi pakati pa zibwenzi ndikumachepa, kutopa ndi mavuto a tsiku ndi tsiku ndiko, ndipo ngati pali ana, ena okwatirana samasiyira nthawi yawo okha komanso wina ndi mzake. Inde, izi sizingatheke koma zimakhudza kugonana. Kwa kugonana patapita zaka zingapo zaukwati kulibe nthawi yapadera yosasangalatsa - chizolowezi chogonana. Chizoloŵezi cha kugonana ndi moyo wamtundu woterewu, pamene abwenzi amadziwiratu zomwe zidzachitike kuti chiwerewere chidzapitirira kuchokera pachiyambi mpaka kumapeto.
Chitsanzo choterechi chimapangidwa m'miyezi yoyamba ya moyo wokhudzana, pamene awiri ali pabedi amadziwana, kukoka mapu aliwonse a malo osokoneza bongo, aphunzire njira zowonjezereka. Kupyolera pamayesero ndi zolakwika, njira zopanda mavuto zimayesedwa: malo opondereza, komwe kumapsompsona, muyeso wokasunthira, kuti mupeze chisangalalo chotsimikizika. Koma kawirikawiri mawuwa amagwiritsidwa ntchito, posakhalitsa zosangalatsa zimatha: kumverera komwe kamadzaza kumapangitsa kuti chisamaliro chisasunthike, chisangalalo cha kufufuza, chisangalalo cha kupeza chimatayika. Apa ndi pamene wachiwiri wachimwemwe amabweretsa chiwombolo, munthu wanzeru yemwe amadziwa bwino kuti chinthu chatsopano ndi chakale choikidwa pansi pa zinthu zosayenera.
Maphunziro a mphamvu
Kawirikawiri, pofotokoza mmene amamvera pambuyo pa zaka zingapo zaukwati, banjali limadabwa: "Kodi chikondi chinachokera kuti? Zikuwoneka kuti sizipita paliponse, koma bwanji sizinali monga kale? "Maganizo samachoka kwenikweni ngati poyamba anali amphamvu kwambiri. Tangokwatira, dziko lathuli lakonzedwa mosiyana, ndipo ife tiri kwa wina ndi mzake - palibe mwamuna ndi mkazi, okhawo padziko lonse lapansi, koma mwamuna ndi mkazi (ngakhale ngati ukwati ndi wachikhalidwe). Chiyanjano "mwamuna-mkazi" ndi chikondi mwachibadwa, ndipo "mwamuna-mkazi" ndi zoweta, zachikhalidwe. Kukwaniritsidwa kwa ntchito ndi ntchito zathu tsiku ndi tsiku ndizadzaza nthawi yathu kotero kuti sitingathe kufotokoza malingaliro athu. Ndipo chinthu chachikulu chomwe poyamba chinagwirizanitsa awiriwo, chinasamukira ku tsogolo lakutali, ngakhale kuti sichitha konse. Chikondi sichinayambe, koma chilibe malo panthawi yathu yotanganidwa. Muukwati, palibe malo a miyambo ya chibwenzi - ndi opanda pake, popeza awiri apeza kale ndikugonjetsana. Ndipo ngati mukuonjezeranso zachipatala kuti ndi zaka za amuna ndi akazi, kupanga kwa mahomoni ogonana kumachepetsa - musadabwe kuti kugonana patatha zaka 10 zaukwati sikufanana ndi nthawi ya ukwati.
Pamalo ogona ogwirizana, wina ndi mzake amakula kwambiri - chifukwa chakuti sanagwirizane ndi ntchito zathu za tsiku ndi tsiku, amasiyidwa m'moyo wina. Ndiyeno malo a miyambo ndi zochitika zomwe zimakhalapo zimapangidwira. Mukhoza kupatsana wina ndi mzake, zizindikiro zilizonse zowonongeka, kuyendayenda m'misewu yochepa ya mizinda yosadziwika, kusamba pamodzi, kufunafuna kukhala payekha pa gombe usiku ... Kawirikawiri okwatirana akusangalala kupeza kuti muzochitika zoterezo chikhumbo chokondana wina ndi mnzake ndi chimodzimodzi mwamphamvu, monga miyezi yoyamba yolidziwa. Ngakhale kudandaula pamaganizo a amuna akhoza kutsegula chitseko, kumbuyo komwe kulibe kusungidwa kwachisomo.
Ndizosadabwitsa kuti nthawi zambiri mumakondomu ndi cholinga cha "malingaliro okhwima" mabanja omwe ali ndi ana akuluakulu ayamba kale: kusowa kwa kusamalira ana kumamasula nthawi yochuluka. Ndipo zikuwonekeranso chifukwa chake fashoni yachiwiri yachisangalalo inadza kwa ife kuchokera kumadzulo. Ndiko komweko nthawi zambiri kumachotsedwa kwa ana kupita ku moyo wodziimira mofulumira kwambiri - nthawi yomwe ngongole zonse zimalipidwa, ndipo mukhoza kudzipangira nokha ndi chikumbumtima chokhazikika. Kugonana kwa kugonana, kusowa kwa zochitika kumamulimbikitsa kwambiri. Pamene masewera achikondi amaperekedwa osati theka la ola Lamlungu mmawa, koma nthawi yosachepera, malingaliro akuyamba kugwira ntchito mwamphamvu - ngakhale ngati poyamba atayika kuchokera ku ufulu woterewu mpaka pano. Kwenikweni, ambiri kuti akhudzidwe bwino, zitha kusintha kusintha: kuchokera pabedi pabedi ku jacuzzi, nyanja yamtunda, tenti m'nkhalango, ngakhale chipinda cha sitima kapena chimbudzi cha ndege. Kusintha kwa zochitika nthawi zonse kumakhala kokondweretsa, ndipo kupezeka kwa chiwerengero cha adrenaline kwa ambiri kumapindula.
Tikhoza kunena kuti, tikubwerera mu miyezi yoyamba yodziwa ndikuyesanso, koma tsopano ndife okalamba komanso odziwa zambiri, tatha kufotokozera zomwe tikufuna pabedi. Ngakhale ngati mukuyenera kuchita izi osati mwachindunji, koma pogwiritsa ntchito mafilimu owonetserako kapena zolaula (muzipatala zabwino nthawi zonse zimakhala zovuta pakati pa makanema a ma TV), kudutsa m'magazini, kuwerenga wina ndi mzake "zotentha" m'mabuku owerengera, kuyenda m'masitolo ogonana. Pali mizinda ndi mayiko omwe sangathe kupititsa patsogolo zochitika zamakono m'madera otchuka - Paris, Amsterdam, Thailand ...
Kuwonjezera pamenepo, pa tchuthi, n'zotheka kunyalanyaza chidwi cha dziko lakunja lokhumudwitsa, lomwe limayesa kutiitanira ife pa mafoni osasinthidwa nthawi yabwino kwambiri. Kukumva za nkhawa ndi mantha, zomwe nthawi zina sitingathe kuzichotsa mumasokonezo a moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku, zimakhala zopanda pake, chifukwa tchuthi ndikutanthauzira kuti zinthu zili bwino komanso zotheka. Makamaka zimathandiza kumasula kugonana kokongola. Mayi akukwaniritsa chilakolako chogonana, mosiyana ndi munthu, pang'onopang'ono, ndipo amatha kuchotsedwa kunja kwa dziko lino ndikudandaula pang'ono. Amuna, ngakhale adakonzedwa mosiyana, ali ofanana kwambiri ndi ife mu izi, monga amakhulupirira panopa. Inde, munthu wathanzi amapindula mofulumira komanso mosavuta, koma mawu osamvetsetsa a mnzanu kapena foni kuchokera kwa akuluakulu ake amatha kumuchotsa mwamtendere chidziwitso cha kugonana komanso chilakolako chogonana. Choncho, lamulo "zithani mafoni!" - chifukwa chachitsulo chachiwiri chachitsulo. Chabwino, intaneti ndi yabwino kuti musapite, ndipo musamawerenge nyuzipepala. Ndipotu, makamaka, osati kukokera ku banja la mavuto ogwira ntchito monga maola owonjezera kapena kukambirana nkhani za bizinesi pa foni yam'manja popanda kusokoneza chakudya chamadzulo.
Ntchentche mu mafuta onunkhira
Palibe amene adzatha kuwononga chisangalalo monga momwe ife timachitira. Choyamba, kusafuna kwathu kuthetsa mavuto a "kunja kwa dziko". Izi zimakhudza anthu osamalonda okha, koma amayi opanda pake, ngakhale panthawi yogonana ndi okondedwa anu akudandaula: momwe muli mwana? Ngakhale "mwana "yo ali kale wachinyamata ndipo amadziwa kudziyang'anira yekha. Pofuna kupewa chikhalidwe choterocho, ndizofunikira kuthetsa nkhani zonse musanayambe ulendo: kuthana ndi malipiro a ntchito, kukonzekera mwana - mumsasa wa chilimwe kapena ndi achibale. Koma chinthu chachikulu - komanso chovuta kwambiri - ndikuyesera, potsiriza, kumvetsa kuti sikutheka kulamulira chirichonse mu dziko, ndi kungosangalala.
Ambiri aife timatha kutenga nawo limodzi paulendo wachikondi gulu lalikulu la nkhawa ndi mantha kwa iwo omwe atsala mu moyo wamba. Mwachitsanzo, tikuopa kuti tizigona pabedi momasuka: bwanji ngati munthu amene mumakhala naye wodzichepetsa nthawi zonse angakuganizirani? Mwadzidzidzi adzakumbukira zofuna zanu zonyansa? Ndipotu, monga momwe machitidwe amasonyezera, ngati mnzanuyo akudabwa, ndiye kuti izi zimangodabwitsa. Mwinamwake, mutha kukhala okondwa kudziwa zomwe mudzakhala ngati simukusowa kuchita masewera ena.
Koma zimachitika kuti "masewera" oterewa sali pabedi kokha, komanso m'moyo. Tikhoza kufotokozera okwatirana okondwa ndi makolo osamalira, koma patokha tilibe kanthu koti tiyankhulane. Kawirikawiri izi zimawonekera muchisanu chachiwiri chachisangalalo, pamene kufunika kochita masewero kumatayika ndipo zimakhala zomveka kuti kamodzi panthawi yomwe ife tinagwirizana osati ndikumverera, koma ndi ntchito yodziphatikizana, kuchitira chifundo kapena kumalera mwana. Ndipo pamene miyambo ikukonzekeretsa chenicheni chathu - timawona kuti kumbuyo kwawo kunalibechabechabe. Apa, nthawi ya chisangalalo imakhala yosiyana: m'malo mwa zaka zambiri zosangalatsa, tili ndi chisudzulo patsogolo pathu. Kumbali imodzi, izi sizosangalatsa kwambiri, koma zina - sizikudziwika kuti ukwati umangokhalira kuchitidwa chiyanjano chotani?