Chikondi ndichidziwikiratu. Koma, monga momwe chiwonetsero chikuwonetsera, mawonekedwe (okwatira kapena ayi) potsirizira pake amatsimikizira kukhala ofunikira kuposa zomwe zili. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa nkhani zowawa kwambiri za amai, zomwe timakambirana molimba mtima ndi anzanga ndi amayi omwe ali ndi nkhawa za tsogolo la ana awo okondedwa. Ndi nthawi yodziwa ngati zoyenera komanso zoopsa za chikwati chokwatirana ndizokokomeza. Tiyeni titembenuzire kwa akatswiri othandizira a maganizo kuti atithandize.
Ukwati ndi chinthu chabwino
Choyamba tiyeni tifotokoze mawu ake. Liwu lakuti "banja", mosiyana ndi nthabwala zowonongeka pa nkhaniyi, limachokera ku mawu akuti "kutenga". Zoonadi, maudindo amatanthauza. Mu "mboni" Mulungu amatchedwa (mu mpingo), boma (mu ofesi yolembera) ndi anthu ofunika kwambiri m'moyo wa anthu awiriwa - achibale, abwenzi, anzako. "Ndondomeko yotere yovomerezeka kuchokera kumwamba" imakhala ndi ntchito yofunikira, monga mwambo uliwonse - kaya ulembetse apainiya kapena kupereka diploma. Kuyambira ali ndi zaka zitatu munthu amadziwa kuti ali ndi ubale weniweni ndi dziko lakunja. Kudzidalira kwathu kumakhalanso chithunzi cha zomwe zikulimbikitsidwa mdziko ndi zomwe siziri. Ndicho chifukwa chake pali mwambo wokondwerera ukwatiwo mokwanira, kutanthauza, kumbali imodzi, kuvomereza kwa anthu, ndi zina - kutengeka kwa anthu. Kuposa momwe munthu alili, makamaka "choyenera" ayenera kukhala m'banja. Ndicho chifukwa palibe aperezidenti mmodzi kapena osudzulana. Ndipo aliyense akumvetsa chifukwa chake. Koma ambiri a ife ndife anthu wamba, ndipo vuto la kulemba ubale limayambitsa kutsutsana.
Ndiye kodi tikuganizira chiyani za ukwati? Pamene mwamuna ndi mkazi amakhala limodzi, amagawana banja ndipo ... amakondana. Koma zimachitika kuti pakapita kanthawi, pamene zilakolako zonse zizimidwa, tikudzidzimutsa kuti wokondedwayo ndi waufupi kwambiri pa suti yoyenera ndipo sikutheka kupirira zolephera zomwe zavumbulutsidwa! M'lingaliro limeneli, kukwatirana kwapachiweniweni ndi njira yabwino kwambiri. Mukhoza kuyang'ana momwe mumakhalire okondana, mmoyo wanu wa tsiku ndi tsiku, kugonana, ndi zina zotero. Ndipo popanda tepi yofiira tepi yofiira kuti ikafalikire kuti ipeze chimwemwe chawo chenicheni. Ndipo ngati chirichonse chimagwirizana, ndiye chinthu chachikulu ndikumverera, ukwati wokonzedwa mwakhama - ndicho chakhumi! Ndondomeko yabwino ndi yowona, sichoncho? Koma akatswiri amanena kuti, ndi kuthekera kwa chiyanjano choterocho, "akazi apachiweniweni" ndi ovuta kwambiri kuposa "ovomerezeka". Mawu a zaka 4 amaonedwa kuti ndi ofunika kwambiri paukwati. Chifukwa? Tidzayesa kuganizira zovuta (koma sitikutchula kuti ukwati waumwini ungakhale maziko a banja losangalala).
Logic ya Akazi
Pa chikhalidwe ndi zamaganizo, mkaziyo wapangidwa kuti aperekedwe kwa mwamuna. Ndipo iye akusowa kutsimikizira kuti iye sagulitsa basi. Tsogolo liyenera kutengedwa. M'kwatibwi la boma, kotsiriza ndi yotseguka, monga Eugene Onegin. Ufulu wa ubale umalengezedwa. Ufulu ngati chishango kuchokera ku "bytovuhi." Koma pambuyo pa zonse, banjali liyenera kukhazikitsa moyo wamba, monga momwe amachitira ukwati wokhazikika, kusankha yemwe amasamba mbale, kuchotsa zinyalala ... Zotsatira zake, pali chinthu chimodzi chochititsa chidwi: omwe amacheza nawo amapewa kutenga ndalama pa moyo wawo ndi chitonthozo. Funso ndi lakuti tigule chitsulo chatsopano, osati kutchula ndalama zambiri - galimoto, nyumba - imapachikidwa mlengalenga. Kuchokera pamalo ovomerezeka, nanunso, palibe chitsimikizo chakuti ufulu wanu wa katundu sungatetezedwe ndi Family Code. Ndipo kwa zaka zingapo banja likhoza kukhala ngati ophunzira, kuyesera kuti asaganize za mawa. Vuto lachiwiri ndi ufulu ngati mwayi wosadziwa kuti nthawi imodzi ndi "kulawa" anzake. Ndipotu, mfundoyi siyikidwa, kodi munthu "yemweyo" adzawonekera mosayembekezereka? (Mu chikwati cholembedwera chikwati ndikwanira, koma kugonana pambali kumakhala kosawerengeka kuti ndi "chikwama" osati kufufuza theka lachiwiri). Monga lamulo, muukwati waumwini, mmodzi wa iwo amamverera "mfulu", ndipo winayo akuwopa kumva chitonzo: "Inu mumandikakamiza kwambiri!" Pa zifukwa zomwe tafotokozera pamwambapa, kugwirizana kofooka ndi kawirikawiri mtsikana.
Logic ya Amuna
Ndiye bwanji amuna samathamangira ku korona? Sizingatheke kuti minofu ya ana a zaka zam'mbuyero akuthabe kwambiri. Ndipo amuna omwe amasankha kukwatirana ndi anthu apachiweniweni monga njira yothetsera ukwati wawo, amakwatirana mwakhama (ngakhale kuti nthawi zonse sakhala m'banja lawo). Inde, iye amakhutira ndi "chirichonse chomwe chiri". Ndipo iye, moona, sakonda kusintha chirichonse. Koma iye ali ndi mantha aakulu kuti kwa mtsikana wake wokondedwa atatha ukwatiwo "chirichonse chidzasintha." Asanayambe ukwati, asungwanawo amakhala ndi ziwalo zojambula, makandulo, makandulo, kuchokera ku maukwati atsopano, ngakhale osadziŵa. (Zindikirani kuti madona okwatirana amadzichepetsera okha kuposa momwe amachitira ukwati usanachitike, ndipo sakhala odera nkhawa ndi "chikondi"). M'dziko lathu, chiwonetserochi chikudalira kwambiri: Mkazi-mkazi ali ngati mayi wamasiye (chifukwa chabwino, nthawi zambiri timawatcha amuna "ana" pokambirana ndi anzanga ndi amayi anga). Mayi-mkazi, monga amayi ake omwe, amamuphunzitsa nthawi zonse, amachititsa kudziona kuti ndi wolakwa. Vuto lachiwiri ndi mwambo wovuta wa ukwatiwu, pamene wokondedwa ndi mayi ake akufuna kusewera "mkwati-ndi-mkwatibwi-tiri-tiri-tiri-mtanda". Funso limabwera: "Kodi iye akusowa chiyani - kusonyeza aliyense kuti watha kukwatiwa, kapena ine ndikudalibe?"
N'chifukwa chiyani akutsutsana kwambiri ndi banja?
Zochitika za ana nthawi zonse zimakhala ndi udindo waukulu. Mayi, chonde onani! Zomwe zimayambitsa mantha a chikhalidwe chovomerezeka pakati pa anthu pa chikumbumtima chanu!
1. Kusakhazikika. Sikuti ndizochitika zokhazokha m'banja, komanso nthawi yomwe makolo, osati kutsutsana, amakhala okha, amasiyana ndi moyo wa mwanayo. Pazochitika zonsezi, mnyamatayo akhoza kukhala wosatsimikizika kuti amafunikiradi munthu ndipo amatha kukondana kwambiri. Kuchokera kwa mnyamata wotero mumatha kumva kuti: "Pita kwa amayi!" Ndi kosavuta kuti adziwononge kugwa kwa chibwenzi kusiyana ndi kudandaula kuti tsiku lina mtsikana "adzawona zomwe ndili."
2. Hyperopeka. Amayi ambiri ali ovomerezeka kwambiri, amatsimikiza kuti mwanayo sasowa kuti azilamulira, komanso kuti am'chitire zambiri, kuyesera kuti adziwe maganizo ake ndi malingaliro ake. Ali wamkulu, ali ndi mantha kuti chikondi ndi chisamaliro - ngakhale msungwana wokongola kwambiri padziko lapansi - akhoza kummeza iyenthu, kumuchotsera ufulu wodzilamulira womwe wakhala watenga nthawi yaitali.
3. Kufooka. Zimapezeka kuti amayi sazipereka nthawi yochuluka kwa mwana wawo, sakhala kunyumba nthawi zonse, ndipo agogo amabweretsa mwanayo. Amayi ndi ozizira komanso ovuta. Popeza alibe mwayi wolankhulana momasuka ndi amayi ake, akhoza kugawanitsa chithunzi cha mkazi wake wokondedwa, yemwe palibe msungwana weniweni amene angagwirizane nawo. Ndi chifukwa chake ndiye kuti adzakhala mufunafuna kosatha kwa mwana wake wamkazi.