Ubale uliwonse uyenera kumangidwa bwino, chifukwa pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya ubale pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Choncho, poyamba, muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti ali ndi mgwirizano wotani pakali pano. Mwina izi ndizogonana, kapena anthu amakumana, kapena amakhala pamodzi. Muzinthu zonsezi, anthu ali ndi malingaliro osiyana pa kugonana ndi wina ndi mnzake.
Chikondi
Kwa anthu omwe angoyamba kumene chibwenzi, tikhoza kulangiza, kuwonjezera nthawi yachikondi ya ubale wawo, kuti chikondi chikhoza kukula. Ubale wokondana kwambiri uli paunyamata komanso ukalamba kwambiri. Iyi ndiyo nthawi yomwe anthu ali okwanira kuti ayang'ane maso, ogwiritsidwa ntchito pa bondo, kulemba kalata, kukumbukira sopo omwe amakonda, tchizi zomwe munthu amakonda, amatumikira bwino malaya.
Mwamwayi, nthawi yathu yamakondano imapatsidwa nthawi yochepa kwambiri. Ndipo panthawiyi tilibe nthawi yoti tigwirizane ndi chikondi cha chikondi, chomwe chikondi chathu chimapitirizabe. Mwachitsanzo, kukumbukira momwe adawonera, momwe anasowa, kaya analemba zolemba ndakatulo, zomwe analemba, kaya adagula mphatso, kaya akufuna kupumula, akulota, kusamala, ndi zina zotero.
Pa gulu lirilonse limene likuyamba kukumana, nthawi zochepazi zimakhala m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Mwachitsanzo, ife tinakumana mu cafe, tinauzana wina ndi mzake ziganizo ziwiri kapena zitatu ndikumvetsa - ndife ofanana ndi anthu. Tinayang'anitsitsa wina ndi mzake ndikuzindikira kuti: Ndikufuna kukhala ndi munthu uyu mpaka ukalamba wanga. Tinakambirana za Mlengi, tinagwira dzanja ndikuzindikira - ndife ogwirizana. Nanga ndi kusiyana kwanji komwe kumapanga pamene mumayamba maubwenzi apamtima lero, mu sabata kapena miyezi 1.5, monga momwe ena amachitira zogonana.
Ngati mukufunadi kukhala pafupi
Izi zimachitika kuti tsitsi limakhala "phokoso", mutu wanu ukuwoneka, manja anu akugwedezeka, mpaka mutamufuna munthu pano ndi tsopano. Ine ndinaitana usiku, wotchedwa, akutchedwa tekisi ndipo iwe upita. Nthawi zina malingaliro ndi chikhumbo choterocho zikhoza kuimitsidwa ngati malingaliro akuti, "Dikirani, si nthawi, chipiriro." Ngati pali mwayi woonjezera ubwenzi, ndi bwino kuyembekezera, ngati palibe mwayi wotero, musamamvetsere wina aliyense, kukondana wina ndi mnzake mu elevator, pakufika, m'galimoto. Maganizo onsewa ndi malingaliro athu omwe timatenga nawo ku ukalamba.
Ngati mwamuna apatsa mkazi maminiti angapo patsiku, ndipo mkazi amagwira ntchito paubale kusiyana ndi mphindi zingapo, ndiye kuti banjali silidzatha konse. Ndiyeno sizimapangitsa kusiyana kulikonse ngati amagona pamodzi kapena ayi.
Chikondi cha paofesi
Ndi pamene pali chikondi cha chikondi chomwe timakhala nacho panthawi yochepa, timadziwa kuti ngati lero sitimapusitsa, ndiye kuti tidzayenda pakiyi kwa masiku angapo, ndiye kuti tidzakhala ndi zojambulajambula, ndipo tidzalira, ndikutsanzika pa siteshoni ndipo palibe wina aliyense Sindilemba, palibe amene angabwere kwa wina aliyense. Mkwatibwi kuti izi zidzapangitsa kuti banja likhale lolimba kwa chikondi, mwinamwake peresenti imodzi.
Mukakhala ndi nthawi yochepa ndipo simukufunana, mumamvetsa kuti munthuyu adzakhalabe chikumbutso, chithunzi chowala kwambiri chomwe mumatenga mu ukalamba wanu, mutseke maso anu kuti mukhale pachibwenzi, ndipo musadzitsutse nokha chifukwa cha zomwe simukuzidziwa. Ngati mutha kuyima, imani, coo, muyende ndikusiya ulendo wokondana, yemwe sachita manyazi adzagawana ndi mnzanu wapamtima kapena ngakhale ndi mwamuna wake.
Kuwonongeka kwa ubale kuli kuti? Pamene abambo amayamba kugonana ndipo mu sabata yoyamba pambuyo paukwati, ena omwe angokwatirana kumene ayamba kusonyeza zosiyana zolemba za kugonana. Koma musaiwale kuti moyo ndi umodzi, utali wautali komanso wautali ndipo inu mumangofuna kuti inu nokha mukwatirane.
Kaya ndiwe mwamuna kapena mtsikana, mtsikana kapena mnyamata, muyenera kumvetsa kuti m'moyo wanu muyenera kubweretsa zinthu zatsopano nthawi zonse. Mwachitsanzo, ngati chakudya chokhala ndi moyo chimawopsa kwambiri, chimakhala choposa shuga, chimakhala chosasinthika, choncho m'moyo - aliyense amayang'ana, aliyense amawonana, amawerengana monga bukhu - izi siziloledwa. Lonjezani ubale wanu, lumbirani kuimika, pangani nthawi kuti mudabwe naye mnzanu, chitani choipa, tiyeni tikhululukire nokha.
Chilengedwe mu kugonana
Koma ponena za kugonana, ndiye ndithudi kulenga mwaziwonetsero zake zonse. Ndipo ponena za kulenga kulikonse, mukufunikira kusintha maganizo. Kawirikawiri wolemba kapena wojambula aliyense amadziwa kuti 8 koloko ndidzatenga burashi ndikujambula luso. Tiyenera kuyembekezera maganizo athu, ndipo maganizo athu akadali okondana. Ndipo malo amatsenga a chilakolako cha kugonana ndi chikondi chachikondi ndizo zimayambitsa mitima kugogoda pamodzi.
Wothandizana naye ayenera kumununkha, kuyang'anitsitsa, kumamvetsera munthu kupuma, kuyang'ana momwe akumvera, ndipo musadabwe. Popeza pali nthawi imene anthu amati ndimasamalira mkazi, anali wokondana kwambiri, osati mawu amodzi, koma momwe anagona pabedi, ndinakhumudwa kwambiri ndi iye, ndibwino kuti sitinakwatire. Ameneyo ndi munthu wotsutsana ndipo sindimakonda. Inde, mu gulu lirilonse, maubwenzi amenewa ali pawokha, koma kugonana kumatulutsa mitundu yoonekera mu ubale wonse.
Kugonana kwa chikondi
Nthawi zina zimakhala muukondano womwe wina amakonda, wina amalola kuti azikondedwa, wina amapita kumsonkhano, wina amawasamalira, aliyense amakhala ndi nthawiyi mwa njira yake, koma pamene anthu abisala, ndiye dzina limachoka, "inu" mumachoka, maofesi ndipo palinso anthu opanda uphungu wabwino kwambiri. Iyi ndi njira yokongola, yomwe mwina si yokongola kuchokera kunja, mwachitsanzo, osati yokongola monga mafilimu olaula. Yayikidwa mascara, nkhope yopweteka, tsitsi losakanizika.
Koma pamene mukugonana chifukwa cha chikondi komanso pamene mudapatsa chikondi ichi mwayi wobadwa ndi okhwima, ndiye kuti njirayi idzasunga ubale wanu wonse, ngakhale kuti simukugwirizana nawo, ngakhale mutasiyana zaka zingapo, ngakhale mutakhala wamkulu gulu la othandizira ena.