Chifukwa chake chikondi chimakhala ndi zosiyana, zofotokozera zosiyana ndi zolinga. Ndipo ena mwa iwo ndi opambana kwambiri. Zizindikiro zonsezi zimakhala ndi mfundo zina komanso nthawi yomweyo maganizo, mthunzi wa maganizo. Chikondi chimakhala ndi kufanana kwakukulu, kawirikawiri zimakhala zophiphiritsira ndipo sizikhala ndi chidziwitso chenicheni, siziwululira za chikondi. Koma pali ambiri omwe ali ndi sayansi kapena filosofi. Tsopano tiyesera kulingalira chikondi kudzera mu fyuluta yachuma, ndipo tidzapereka ndondomeko pogwiritsa ntchito malonda a zachuma.
Kodi mumabwera m'maganizo mwanu mukamva "chikondi ngati njira yachuma"? Mwinamwake, kwa inu nthawi yomweyo pali anthu omwe amazunzidwa kapena mtsikana amene akukumana ndi mnyamata chifukwa cha vodeneg. Koma kwenikweni, m'nkhani ino, sitidzanena za ndalama, koma timagwirizana ndi chikondi, zomwe zimakhala zofanana kwambiri ndi momwe ndalama zimasinthira.
Akatswiri a zamaganizo azindikira chifaniziro ichi kuyambira kumapeto kwa Nkhondo Yachiwiri Yadziko Lonse, mwamsanga pamene anthu, ndalama ndi kalembedwe ka miyoyo yathu zinayamba kusintha. Inde, mgwirizano pakati pa anthu umasintha nthawi zonse, malingana ndi chikoka cha mbiri yakale, pa chitukuko cha sayansi ndi psychology ya fukoli. Mukuganiza bwanji, kodi anthu asintha bwanji kuyambira nthawi imeneyo? Kodi tikuwona chiyani lero ndi chikondi? Ndipo ali ndi mawonekedwe otani lerolino?
Kuganizira kwanu, chimodzi mwa malingaliro a maganizo, komwe maganizo a anthu amafanana ndi kugula ndi kugulitsa pamsika.
Msika, mawonekedwe a katundu
Aliyense wa ife ali ndi makhalidwe ndi nkhope zake zokha, komabe ife tonse tiri ndi zizindikiro, zochitika, makhalidwe. Wina wochenjera kwambiri, wina woposa luso. Ndipo komabe, aliyense wa ife akugwirizana ndi anthu, tikuyang'ana zolinga zina, zomwe zimatipatsa ife, zomwe zimapangitsa. Tonsefe timalowa mu "mgwirizano wa malonda", tikufuna "kugula" zinthu zina, kupereka muzobwezera zomwe tili nazo.
Aliyense wa ife amadziwa kale zomwe akufuna. Ngati sitidziwa bwinobwino izi, ndiye kuti nthawi yathuyi idzawululidwa ndi chikumbumtima chathu. Pamene tikuyang'ana wokondedwa wathu, ndipo pakufufuza kwake zosalingalira komanso zomwe zingatheke ife nthawizonse, ndiye pamutu mwathu tili ndi dongosolo, malingaliro, ndondomeko ya ntchito. Mitak kapena kuwonetsa nthawi zonse anthu ozungulira, pokhudzana ndi khalidwe limene timafunikira. Monga ngati kufunafuna mankhwala ndi zida zomwe zidzafunike pa famu. Kawirikawiri timakonda zosiyana, komabe ali ndi chinthu chofanana, ndizo zomwe timasankha wokondedwa. Tikufuna wanzeru, wokongola, wokondweretsa, wodzisangalatsa, wolimba mtima, wolimba mtima, mwamuna wodalirika. Monga lamulo, makhalidwe onse abwinowa ali ndi udindo wawo, wofunikira, koma ambiri a iwo amakumana ndi mndandanda wa "zikhumbo" za aliyense. Mwachidule, aliyense wa ife akusowa mankhwala osiyana - wina akuyamikira kukongola, ndipo wina ndiwuntha wa malingaliro, kuti wina akhale wofunika kwambiri ndi mphamvu ya khalidwe lawo, ndipo ena amafunika kufatsa ndi kugonjera. Zoonadi, ndizosamveka kulinganitsa anthu okhala ndi katundu, koma aliyense wa ife ali ndi mtengo wake wamtengo wapatali. Makolo athu amapereka ndalama mwa ife, amaphunzitsa zinthu zofunika mpaka ife tikudzilera tokha "kudzigulira tokha mtengo". Mayi wachiwerewere pambali iyi ndi chitsanzo choyipa komanso chosayera cha ntchito yogula mkazi - timamufunira zoyenera ndipo potero tingagule thupi lake, kukongola, chikondi ndi kulipira ndalama. Ichi ndichitseguka, pomwe mkazi, munthu amachita ngati chinthu chofunika. Ntchito yogula ndi kugulitsa apa ikuwonetsedweratu momveka bwino, monga momwe lamulo la ukwati likuyendera. Kusiyana kokha ndiko kuti timagula mkazi kwa ola limodzi kapena moyo wonse. Kodi timasowa chiyani: thupi kapena khalidwe, moyo wa munthu?
Malingaliro opindulitsa pamsika wa kugonana
Taganizirani chitsanzo ichi: Mkazi wokongola akuyang'ana mwamuna. Iye ndi erudite, amawerenga zambiri, amawoneka okongola, ali ndi chiwerengero cha chic ndipo amakopa oimira ambiri ogonana molimba kwambiri. Ali ndi khalidwe losachita zachiwawa, iye ali wodzidalira, wolenga. Chifukwa chake, iye ndi "chinthu chofunika" pamsika wa chikondi ndipo ali ndi mitundu yambiri ndi yosankha, chifukwa zambiri zomwe akufuna monga mkazi angathe kukwaniritsa. Kuchokera pazifukwa izi, iye sangaoneke kuti akuyang'ana munthu wopusa, woipa yemwe sangakwanitse kukwaniritsa mafunso ake. Akuyang'ana munthu woyenera kuti azitha kusinthanitsa makhalidwe, zomwe ndizofunikira kwenikweni kwa mkazi lero - munthu wakula bwino yemwe ali wochenjera, wokongola, ali ndi chisangalalo ndipo mwa njira yake yekha umunthu wokondweretsa ndi wokongola.
Kukongola kwa mkazi ndi chikhalidwe cha munthu ndizopindulitsa kwambiri komanso zofunikanso lero. Iwo ali ofanana mofanana mu mphamvu. Kukongola kwa mkazi ndi khalidwe lake, lofunika. Zimabweretsa phindu phindu kwa wogula, koma ndi khalidwe lamphamvu la mawonekedwe osinthana. Kukongola kumaperekedwa kwa mkazi wobadwa, ndiko kugwirizana kwa thupi lake ndi mbali zake, amatha kusamalira komanso kusunga mgwirizano umenewu. Mwamuna, kuti afunidwe pamsika wa chikondi ndi kuimira chinthu choyenera kuti asinthane nawo, muyenera kugwira ntchito zambiri payekha. Kufuna kukhala ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu, kukhala ndi makhalidwe amtundu wa amuna, kuphunzira kukhala olimba mtima, kukhala anzeru ndi oyenerera, kulemekeza ndi kufunikira kwa akazi, kumvetsa maganizo awo ... Mwamuna amayesetsa kuchita chidwi ndi kukondedwa kuti azitsatira miyambo ya anthu. Kwa mkazi, kukongola kungaperekedwe monga mphatso kuchokera nthawi yoberekera ndipo nthawi zambiri sizidalira pa izo. Kupanda kukongola kumawopsyeza kwa iye ndipo pano kufufuza kwachepetsedwa kokha ngati mwayi.
Koma, kukongola monga mtengo ndizosatheka kutayika tsiku limodzi, panthawi imodzimodzimodzi ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu komanso zinthu zakuthupi zimakhala zovuta kwambiri.
Pamapeto pake,
Kodi mumamvetsa tanthauzo la nkhanizi? Kodi mumavomereza kuti maubwenzi lero ali ngati kugula ndi kugulitsa, ndipo chikondi chimaperekedwa kwa ambiri monga njira yopezera ndalama? Zili choncho, aliyense wa ife ali ndi malingaliro athu enieni ndi maonekedwe athu pa zomwe zimatizungulira. Wina amadziwa kukonda, kufunafuna chibwenzi, kuimba nyimbo zachisangalalo ndikuyamikira kukongola kwa moyo wa munthu wina, kumva kugwirizana kwachinsinsi pakati pa "theka", amadziwa momwe angapezere chikondi chenicheni ndi moyo weniweni.Ubale wa ena mofanana ndi kusinthana kwa katundu ndi kusowa kuwoloka malire awo. monga momwe timakondera - timasankha ndi ife okha.