Chibwenzi chako sichiiwala choyambirira: chochita chiyani?

Mumakumana ndi mnyamata yemwe adangokhalira kuswa ndi bwenzi lanu, ndipo mumamva kuti "mzimu" wa chikondi chimenechi ukulepheretsani kumanga ubale wathunthu? Kodi mumapezeka kuti mukuganiza kuti mnyamatayo amakuyerekezerani ndi wakale, amadzibisa, amadzibisa mwachangu zinsinsi zina ndipo amakhumudwa mukayesa kumulankhula momasuka? Chabwino, zikondwerero! Munakhala membala wa katatu wachikondi wachikondi. Koma simukuyenera kupirira izi ndipo muli ndi ufulu wokhala ndi ubale weniweni. Kodi mungatani ngati mnyamata sangakayikire zakale? Kodi munthu angamvetse bwanji kuti sadakumanepo ndi chikondi choyambirira, ndipo angamuthandize bwanji kuchotsa chidaliro ichi kuti atenge malo apamwamba mu mtima mwake?

Zizindikiro zowona kuti mnyamatayu sanaiwalire kale

Pokhapokha, chilichonse cha zizindikiro izi sizikutanthauza kuti mnyamatayo wakupatsani malo a "ndege yopuma", koma ngati zitatu mwazipeza mu chiyanjano chanu, alamu yamveka.

• Mnyamata nthawi zambiri amalankhula dzina lakale. Ngati dzina la msungwana wakale sichichokera pamilomo ya chibwenzi chanu (nthawi zonse amalankhula pazokambirana, amachitchula dzina lake mwachikondi, akulolera kukumbukira kukumbukira kapena mwangozi akutcha dzina lake), onetsetsani kuti sanamulole kuti apitebe.
• Mnyamata akufanizira iwe ndi wakale. Ngakhale ngati izi sizikugwirizana nazo, musafulumire kusangalala ndi mfundo yakuti muli bwino kwambiri. Motero akhoza kuyesa kudzionetsera yekha kuti adziwonetsetse kuti palibe chikondi.
• Mnyamatayo amasunga mphatso ndi zinthu za kale. Pamene munthu sakuyamikira ubale wakale, ndiye zinthu zomwe zimamugwirizanitsa ndi zakale siziyimira mtengo uliwonse kwa iye. Choncho, ngati mnyamata amasunga mosamala chingwe chokumangiriridwa ndi mtsikana wakale kapena samachotsa phokoso la golidi, iye sali wokonzeka kusiya ndi kukumbukira kwake.
• Mnyamatayo ali ndi nsanje za kale. Nkhani yakuti munthu watsopano waonekera mu moyo wake, chibwenzi chako chimakhudzidwa kwambiri, ndikuwonetsa chochitikacho ndi chiwonongeko chako? Musakayikire, mosamvetsetseka, iye amamuona kuti ndi wake, ndipo sagawana wokondedwa ndi amuna ena.

• Mnyamatayo akuganiza kuti wakale anali bwenzi lake lapamtima. Ziri bwino ngati akuyamika bwenzi lake lapamtima pa tsiku la kubadwa kwake kapena adzalandira SMS yokondwera nayo. Koma ngati, poyambitsa ubale ndi inu, akutsindika kuti okondedwa ake akale adzapitirizabe kukhala mbali yofunikira pamoyo wake, kuganiza, ndikofunika kwa inu?
• Mnyamatayo amabisala kwa inu mwaubwenzi kukumana ndi akale. Ngati akukakamizika kumuwona kuntchito, mu kampani ya mabwenzi ake, ndi zina zotero, ndipo mukudziwa za izo, palibe chifukwa chodandaula. Koma ngati mutagwira mnyamata mumisonkhano yamseri ndi oyambirira, zikuwoneka kuti akusewera masewera awiri ndipo, mwina, akumanga milatho yakale.
• Mnyamatayo akugwira nawo ntchito mwakhama. Sangathe kukana kuthandizira kwake, ndipo kufuula kwa "sos" kale-atsikana amanyansidwa ndi zonyansa? Khalani maso, mwinamwake, wakale sichikufuna kukupatsani wokondedwa. Ndipo ngati sakuletsa izi, chilakolako chimagwirizana.
• Mnyamata sakukudziwitsani ku malo ake oyandikana naye. Ngati wokondedwa akuyesera kubisala kwa makolo ake ndi abwenzi ake, nkutheka kuti sakufuna kuti achibale anu adziwe za ubale wanu, chifukwa akuyembekezerabe kubwezeretsa mtsikana uja.

Nanga bwanji ngati mnyamatayo samayiwala wokonda kale?

Langizo 1. Khalani mfumukazi. Musatsikire kumalo ochititsa manyazi a nsanje ndi zowononga. Musati mutenge njira yotsutsana ndi "mzimu" wa bwenzi lakale la bwenzi lanu. Imeneyi ndi nkhondo ndi mafilimu, omwe mungatayike ndithu. Musamanyalanyaze kumverera kulikonse kwa mnyamatayu poyamba. Ndi kwa inu malo opanda kanthu. Tanthauzani zokambirana zoterezi kukhala zosiyana kwambiri ndi ubale wanu, ndipo musawawononge powafunsa mafunso ndi kukayikira. Chidziwitso 2. Musakonzekeretsedwe. Ngati mwamuna sangathe kutseka chitseko cha ubale wakale, ndipo akukupemphani kuti muvutike, mudikire kapena mulole kuti akhale mabwenzi ndikuwona akale, osagwirizana. Kotero mumalimbikitsa chiwembu ndikukhala membala wa katatu wachikondi. Wokondedwa ayenera kuika patsogolo, ndikudziwitseni kuti ali ndi iye kapena iwe. Palibe chabwino chifukwa cha kusatsimikizika kwake kwa nthawi yaitali sikugwira ntchito. Langizo 3. Musakhale odzipereka komanso olakwa. Mfundo yakuti mnyamata sangathe kusankha sizitanthauza kuti iwe ndiwe woipitsitsa kusiyana ndi wakale kapena wosayenera. Musadzifanane ndi izo ndipo musazilole izo. Mulimonsemo, ndinu wapadera ndipo simuyenera kukhala ngati wina aliyense. Mutenge mnyamatayo kuti mukambirane momveka bwino ndikuuzeni momwe mumamvera akamagwirizana ndi chibwenzi chakale.

Ndondomeko 4. Fufuzani mmene akumverera. Ngati chibwenzi chanu chikulonjeza kuti iye ndi wanu kwamuyaya, ndipo kale ndikumbuyo, komabe nthawi zina amayang'ana kumbali yake, fufuzani kuwona momwe mumamvera ndikuonetsetsa kuti zolinga zake ndizoona mtima. Gwidwa panthawiyo, kukhalabe paubwenzi. Izi zidzathandiza mnyamata wanu kusankha yemwe akufuna kukhala nawo. Ngati palibe ndi inu, chabwino, ndiye kuti si mwamuna wanu. Musataya nthawi yanu yamtengo wapatali pa wina. Ndondomeko 5. Thandizani wokondedwa wanu kuiwalila kale. Zonse zomwe zimafunikira kwa inu ndikuti mukhale nokha, ndipo musayesere kukhala fomu yake. Ndipo ngati iye akufuna moona mtima kuiwala izo, ndipo iwe nkuwona izo, zimuthandizeni iye. Tengani nthawi yake kuti asakhalenso ndi nthawi yoganiza ndikupweteka. Lembani moyo wake ndi mitundu yatsopano, malingaliro, chimwemwe. Pangani mpweya kuzungulira nokha. Mwamuna akhoza kusungidwa kokha ndi chikhalidwe cha chimwemwe, chomwe iwe umatha kuchilenga. Ndondomeko 6. Khalani otsimikiza. Ngati zokambirana zonse, zotsutsana ndi zopempha zisamveke za chibwenzi chanu, ndipo mwakabisira kapena mwakachetechete amasunga ubale ndi chibwenzi chake chakale. Musagwirizane ndi katatu, ndikuyembekeza kuti posachedwa idzatha ndipo amvetsetsa kuti ndibwino kuti inu muli bwino. Lekani kupita. Lolani tsopano iye akufanizitsa izo ndi inu. Ndipo mumangokhala osangalala: muzidzikonda, phunzirani kukonda ndi kudzilemekeza nokha. Koma kwa wina aliyense kupatula nokha, musatsimikizire chilichonse. Mulole chimwemwe chiyankhule pamaso panu pa inu.