Ndiye n'chifukwa chiyani ukwati nthawi zambiri umakhala imfa? Ndipo momwe mungagwirire ndi izi? Kawirikawiri, kukhala nthawi yaitali ndi munthu yemweyo, makamaka ngati izi zikuwonjezeredwa ndi mikangano ndi mavuto, zimapangitsa kuti zibwenzi zikhale zosautsa, zowonongeka, zimapangitsa kukhala wathanzi muzochitika zogonana komanso makamaka kugonana. Zambiri ndi zolemba zinalembedwa za momwe mungasinthire moyo wanu wa kugonana, ngati inu ndi mnzanu mwakhala mukudyetsa kale ndipo mutakhazikika. Koma olembawo amaiwala kuti munthu sayenera kumenyana ndi chizindikiro - kugonana kosatetezeka, koma ndi matenda enieni ndi chifukwa chake - mavuto a ukwati ndi ubale wa anthu, mikangano, mikangano, kusamvetsetsana komwe kwalepheretsa ukwatiwo kwa zaka zambiri.
Ukwati sayenera kupita ndi kuyendayenda, banja labwino liyenera kumangidwa pang'onopang'ono, kuyika khama. Anthu onse ndi opanda ungwiro, ndipo izi ndi zachilendo. Koma choipa kwambiri ndi chakuti ambiri samakonda kuvutika ndi kumangodzigwira okha, kudzipanga okha kunja ndi mkati. Anthu, mukalowa muukwati, ganizirani kuti tsopano mukhoza kumasuka mwanjira iliyonse. Koma simungathe kupuma, muyenera kugwira ntchito pa ubale ndikuphunzira kukhala mwamtendere ndi mnzanuyo.
Zidzakhala zovuta kukwatira, ngati munthu "wolakwika" adasankhidwa poyamba. Nchifukwa chiyani munthu angakhoze kulakwitsa mu kusankha? Iye sangamvetse zomwe akufuna, akhoza kuchititsidwa khungu ndi chikondi ndi zina zotero. Koma kulakwitsa kwakukulu ndiko kusankha wokondedwa, motsatira chikoka, popanda kukhumudwa kuti mumudziwe munthuyo bwinobwino. Mwachitsanzo, mwamuna ali mwana adataya amayi ake, koma chifukwa chofunafuna mkazi, mosamalitsa. Ndipo adapeza-mkazi wachikulire yemwe ali ndi makhalidwe apamwamba komanso umunthu wochepa, monga momwe adaonekera momveka bwino. Inde, izi sizingapangitse chabwino chilichonse. Kapena, mwachitsanzo, mwamuna amafuna mkazi ali ndi gulu la mafani kuti akhale ake ndipo ndi iye yekha. Chitsanzo china, pamene mkazi akwatira mwamuna yemwe adzakwaniritse zokhumba zake zonse, adzapereka moyo wapamwamba. Ndiyeno izo zimasiya kusangalatsa. Kapena, mwachitsanzo, mkazi wamphamvu amadziwa kuti mwamuna ndi wofooka, ngakhale mkazi, koma nthawi imodzimodziyo amafuna kuti akhale mwamuna wamphamvu pambali pake. Pakati pa zilakolako ziwiri, akhoza kuyamba kunyoza mwamuna wake chifukwa chofooka. Ndipo pali zitsanzo zambiri pamene anthu amayamba kupeza munthu "wolakwika".
Choncho, kukwatira ndikofunikira pamene mwaphunzira bwino munthu, mukamamukonda kwambiri. Ngati mumadziwa osankhidwa anu kapena osankhidwa anu bwino, ndiye pali zosayembekezereka zochepa, makhalidwe osadziwika omwe sali ovomerezeka kwa inu. Ndipo ngati chinachake chaching'ono chimatulukira, zidzakhala zosavuta kutseka maso anu, kukhululukira, chifukwa chikondi champhamvu chimakhululukira zambiri. Ngati nonse muli osasamala, sankhani zopanda pake, simungathe kukhululukira zolakwa zina za wina ndi mzake, ndiye kuti simungakhale ndi mphamvu zoterezi. Kotero, ndikubwereza, pamene mukwatira, muyenera kudziwa bwino munthu ndikumukonda kwambiri.
Mu ubale wa banja, munthu ayenera kuchita bwino. Mwachitsanzo, mu moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku munthu sayenera kulamulira ndi pooch, muzinthu zing'onozing'ono zomwe zimapikisana ndi munthu, sayenera kulankhula mwachidwi, koma mofatsa momwe angathere, kusonyeza kusakhutira kwake ndi kusafuula, koma ndi mawu, kuti mumve ndikumvetsetsa. Yesetsani kugonjana wina ndi mzake, kusamalirana wina ndi mzake, musataye nzeru. Nthawi zambiri mikangano imachokera ku tinthu tating'ono, ndipo mwa iwo nthawi zambiri zimakhala zolakwa. Kutembereredwa, kuyanjana, mawu a mawu, mkangano umakula monga snowball, kunyozedwa kumaphatikiza mu moyo. Kaŵirikaŵiri maanja samakumbukiranso kuti zonsezi zinayamba bwanji. Pamene akunena, adayamba kukhala ndi thanzi, koma adatsiriza ena. Ngati banjali likumangokhalira kukangana, ndiye kuti pang'onopang'ono sakonda, kuchoka, zomwe zingathe kuwononga banja.
Musayese kukonzanso wina ndi mzake pansi pa lingaliro lachidziwitso, kuti muthetse khalidwe - ndi zopanda phindu. Munthu aliyense amafuna kuti azikondedwa monga momwe alili. Ndipo ngati iye sakupeza izo mu banja, ndiye pakhoza kukhala chilakolako chochiyang'ana kwinakwakenso. Ndipo ngati iye ali woipa, ndiye bwanji iwe uli naye? Ndi bwino kukumbukira kuti munayamba kukondana ndi mnzanu momwe iye aliri, ndi ubwino wake ndi zovuta zake, komanso kumbukirani kuti inunso mulibe angwiro. Ndibwino kuti aliyense apange zofuna zake - ndipo zonse ziri bwino, ndipo palibe wina akutsutsana.
Ndiyenso kumvetsera wina ndi mzake, kusamala, kuchita zinthu zosiyanasiyana zosangalatsa kwa wina ndi mzake, kulankhula mawu okondweretsa, kukukumbatira, kupsompsona ndi zina zotero. Koma zimachitika kuti zonsezi zimayembekezera chidwi kuchokera kwa wina ndi mzake, ndipo musachite chilichonse pobwezera. Kuti mukhale oyenera, onse awiri ayenera kulandira ndi kupereka.
Banja lirilonse losasangalala silingasangalale mwa njira yake, ndipo mawu awa amatsimikizira chitsanzo ichi komanso momwe zingathere. Chinthu china chopunthwitsa m'banja ndicho ndalama. Ndalama zimayambitsa mikangano m'mabanja omwe akulimbana ndi mphamvu. M'mabanja oterowo, ndalama ndi chizindikiro cha mphamvu, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti munthu amene ali ndi ndalama - ndi mphamvu, yemwe amapeza kwambiri - ndi amene ali wamkulu. Kulimbana kotereku kungakhale kosatha ndikubweretsa chisokonezo mu ubalewu. Anthu okwatirana ayenera kuvomerezana. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mmodzi wa iwo akupeza ndalama, ndiye kuti wachiwiri akugwira ntchito zina za banja kuti wina asakhumudwe. Ndipo chofunikira kwambiri - muyenera kulemekezana komanso kusunga ndalama mphamvu. Ngakhale mutapindula kangapo kuposa theka lanu lachiwiri, muyenera kumulemekeza monga munthu woyenera, monga wokondedwa mnzanuyo, chifukwa mwina amathandizanso banja.
Njira zosiyana pakuleredwa kwa ana zingayambitsenso kukangana. Pano lamulo lalikulu ndi kukambirana nkhani za kulera ndikuyesera kubwera pamalingaliro omwe anthu amodzi akugwirizana nawo.
Chinthu china chotheka ndi kugonana. Ngati muli ndi mavuto mu moyo wanu wogonana musachite mantha kukambirana nawo. Khalani okhoza kukamba za zokhumba zanu, malingaliro, malingaliro. Khalani ndi ubale wokhulupirira wina ndi mzake. Kawirikawiri, mavuto okhudzana ndi kugonana amayamba chifukwa cholephera kulankhula. Yesani kupanga kusintha kwa moyo wanu wa kugonana, kuwonjezera zachilendo, kusungirana chidwi.
"Banja lililonse losasangalala silingasangalale mwa njira yake" - Mawuwa akhala akuwopsya kwambiri. Ngati mavuto sakukhazikitsa, funsani akatswiri. Yesetsani kumvetsetsana wina ndi mzake, kukomana ndi kukondana!