Chitsanzo chilichonse cha ubale wa banja chimakhala ndi zinthu zambiri zomwe zimaphatikizapo, ndipo sitinganene kuti chitsanzo chimodzi ndi chabwino kwambiri, ndipo china chimakhala choipa. Munthu aliyense ayenera kusankha maubwenzi a banja omwe amavomerezedwa ndi omveka bwino, ndipo izi zimadalira chikhalidwe ndi chikhalidwe, ndi kulera kwa munthu.
Ndikofunika kwambiri kuti munthu adziwe: ndi chiyanjano chotani chovomerezeka kwa iye, komanso chimene sichivomereza. Pambuyo pake, malinga ndi akatswiri ambiri a maganizo, chisangalalo cha anthu omwe ali pa mgwirizano chimadalira poyamba momwe ziganizo zawo za momwe okwatirana ayenera kukhalira pamoyo wa banja zimagwirizana. Pambuyo pake, ngati mwamuna amakhulupirira kuti chinthu chachikulu m'banja ayenera kukhala iye, ndipo mkaziyo ali ndi chidaliro kuti mawu otsiriza kuthetsa mavuto a m'banja ayenera kukhala kumbuyo kwake, ndiye kuti awiriwa amatha kuwonetseratu kuyanjana kwa chiyanjano ndi kufulumira, ngakhale ngakhale chilakolako chofanana ndi chikhumbo chofuna kukhalapo.
Osati njira zabwino kwambiri zomwe zidzakhalire kwa anthu okwatirana, ngati mwamunayo amagwiritsidwa ntchito kuganiza kuti mkaziyo ayenera kuthana ndi mavuto onse a banja ndi kupanga zosankha zomaliza pazochitika zilizonse, ndipo mkaziyo, panthawi ino, adzayembekezera kwa munthu wofunitsitsa ndiyomwe akuyesa ndikukhulupirira kuti ngati ali mwamuna , zikutanthauza kuti ayenera kuthetsa mavuto ake ndi ake omwe. Choncho, akatswiri a zamaganizo a anthu amakhulupirira bwino, akukangana kuti palibe amuna ndi akazi abwino, koma pali anthu ogwirizana ndi osagwirizana.
Zitsanzo zoyambirira za ubale ndi zitatu:
1. chitsanzo cha makolo. Muchitsanzo cha ubalewu, udindo wapadera m'banja umapatsidwa kwa mwamuna yemwe molimba mtima amakhala ndi udindo wa banja lonse ndi iyemwini, kawirikawiri popanda kufunsa mkazi wake, amapanga zisankho zofunika za banja lonse. Mkazi, m'banja lotero, nthawi zambiri amatenga mkazi wa nyumba ndi wosunga nyumba kapena mwana wosasokonezeka yemwe zilakolako zake zimakwaniritsidwa mofulumira ndi abambo wachikondi ndi wachikondi.
Ubwino wa ubale woterewu ndi wakuti mkazi amadziona yekha ngati khoma lamwala kumbuyo kwa mwamuna wake ndipo alibe ufulu wolimbana ndi mavuto osiyanasiyana a dziko lapansi. Mwamuna, ndi chitsanzo ichi cha ubale, nthawi zambiri samangokhala ndi munthu wolimba komanso wodziwitsitsa, komanso amalandira bwino. Kusokoneza kwakukulu kwa ubale wamtundu wa pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ndi kudalira kwathunthu kwa mwamuna wake, amene nthawi zina amachititsa mawonekedwe oopsa kwambiri ndipo amamuopseza mkazi wokhala ndi chiwonongeko chathunthu ngati munthu. Kuphatikiza apo, ngati mwamuna mwadzidzidzi asankha kusudzulana, mkazi yemwe, atatha zaka zambiri akukwatirana, asadziwika kuti akulimbana ndi moyo, angakhale wosasangalala komanso osapulumuka ndipo sangathe kukhazikika bwino pamoyo, makamaka ngati anawo amakhala naye, ndipo mkazi wake wakale amachepetsa Thandizani kuchepetsa.
2. Chitsanzo cha matriarchal. Banja lotero, udindo wa mutu wa banja ukuchitidwa ndi mkazi, yemwe sali woyang'anira yekha bajeti ndipo amangotenga zokhazokha zomwe ziri zofunika kwambiri kwa banja, komanso nthawi zambiri amayesa kukopa zofuna ndi zosangalatsa za mkazi wake. Ubale woterewu umapangidwira m'banja lomwe mkazi, poyamba, amalandira kwambiri kuposa munthu, ndipo kachiwiri, ali ndi khalidwe lolimba ndipo saopa kutenga banja lonse ndi kugwira ntchito mwachibadwa udindo wa amuna. Mwamuna angakhalenso wosangalala ndi ubale woterewu, ngati sakufuna kwambiri utsogoleri, makamaka ngati ali mwana ali ndi chitsanzo chomwecho cha makolo. Kukhumudwa kwa ubale woterewu kungakhale kotheka kuti mkazi akhale wolimba mwadzidzidzi, poyerekeza ndi momwe mkazi wogonjera ndi wokhala chete angamawoneke osasangalatsa komanso osasangalatsa. Ngakhale kuti mkazi wamphamvu ndi wolamulira sangathe kukhala mwamtendere ndi munthu wamphamvu ndi wamphamvu, motero, mobwerezabwereza, akazi oterewa, ngakhale pamene akumanga ubale kumbali, nthawi zambiri amasiya mwamuna wawo womasuka ndi wokondweretsa.
3. Chitsanzo cha wokondedwa. Ndi chitsanzo ichi cha ubale, okwatirana nthawi zambiri amalingana ndi ufulu ndikugawana ufulu ndi maudindo onsewa. Zomwe zili zogwirizana, zimakhala zofanana, ndipo zimakhala zosiyana ndi zofuna zawo. M'banja lomwelo, okwatirana amakhala ndi chikhalidwe chofanana ndi ndalama, zomwe sizipereka mwayi kwa mmodzi wa okwatirana kuti azidziganizira yekha mwabwinoko ndi kupambana kuposa wokondedwa. Zosankha zofunikira za mnzanuyo zimangotengedwa pokhapokha pakufunsana wina ndi mnzake ndipo ntchito zachuma zapakhomo zimagawidwa mofanana. Ubwino wa chiyanjano chotere ndi kuthekera kwa wina aliyense kuti awululire muukwati wokha monga munthu komanso wapadera. Ndipo zochepazo zikhoza kukhala chifukwa cha mpikisano zomwe zachitika pakati pa okwatirana ndi chikhumbo chopeza mkaziyo mwanjira ina, zomwe zingayambitse kukonzanso pang'ono pakati pa okwatirana ndi kusagwirizana. Pofuna kupewa izi kuti zisakwaniritsidwe, sikuyenera kukhala chilakolako komanso chiyanjano pakati pa okwatirana, komanso kulemekezana.