Musanayambe kukambirana pa mutu uwu, nkofunikira kumvetsa lingaliro lomwelo. Ambiri amadziwa kunyalanyaza kudzera mu zokambirana zomwe "Mukupita kuti?" Ndi chitsiru! ". Koma zochitika za tsiku ndi tsiku, ngakhale titalowa mwa iwo pafupifupi tsiku lililonse, timangophunzira chabe: ndi kuphunzitsidwa pang'ono ndi iwo mungathe kupirira. Chovuta kwambiri ndi chizoloŵezi m'mawu ambiri.
Kodi "kunyansa" kunachokera kuti?
Mukakumbukira nkhani yachisoni ya m'Baibulo ya mmodzi mwa ana a Nowa, Hama, zikhoza kuwoneka ngati kuti bamboyo sadapeze kalikonse. Chabwino, adapeza bambo woledzera wamaliseche, chabwino, adawuza abale za zomwe adawona-kodi ichi ndi chifukwa chenicheni cha chilango? Nchifukwa chiani lingaliro la "kunyansa" linayamba kusonyeza khalidwe lamwano, khalidwe loipa?
Kunyada kawirikawiri kumakhala zonena za mphamvu. Awonetseratu kuyankhulana kosagwirizana pakati pa anthu, pamene munthu adzinenera kuti ali pamwamba, koma alibe. Kale, ankakhulupirira kuti mwana yemwe adawona ubiseche wa atate ake amasonyeza kuti sakulemekeza makolo motero. Ndipo mulole nthawi izi zasinthe, maziko a chodabwitsa ndi ofanana: mumapeza zomwe simukuyembekezera. Chifukwa chake chinyengo chikhoza kufotokozedwa mwa mitundu yosiyanasiyana. Inu mumabwera ku ZhEK kuti muthandizidwe, ndipo azakhali pawindo akudandaulira mosamala zala zake, mmalo moyankha moni, samwano. Mukuwerenga lipoti pamsonkhanowo, koma bwana amakulepheretsani inu-amasonyeza kulemekeza. Iwe ukumwa mwamuna wako kwa masokosi obalalitsidwa - kodi iwe wasamba kuthamanga? "Chowopsya ndi chakuti tonse timakhala ngati boam nthawi zosiyana, ndipo izi nayenso ziri ndi ndondomeko zomveka.
Kunyada ndi imodzi mwa njira zovomerezeka zochotsera mikangano yeniyeni. Kaŵirikaŵiri izi ndi mtundu wa chitetezo, nthawi zina chikhumbo chowonetsera amene ali ndi udindo pano, ndipo kwa wina ndi njira yothetsera mkangano wamkati. Choncho, ngati mumakhulupilira kuti dziko lonse lapansi silinatembenuzidwe kwa inu osati malo okongola kwambiri, yang'anani mkati mwanu - mwinamwake inunso mumadzipangira nokha kwambiri?
Ndi maonekedwe ndipo sitinganene
Vuto ndilokuti kunyenga ndi nkhani yakugonjetsa maganizo. Tonse tili ndi kulera kosiyana, ndipo wina amakhala ndi maso okwanira kuti akhumudwe, ndipo wina ndi fosholo akhoza kulangidwa popanda chilango. Koma musataye mtima, chiwerengerochi chidalipobe, ndipo tachizindikira kale: ndiyomwe silingagwirizane ndi zochita zina. Ngati simukukayikira kuti ndinu wolondola kapena ayi, mukuganiza kuti ndinu wokhazikika komanso wotsutsa, sungani pepala lachinyengo.
Kumbukirani kuti khalidwe ngatilo si tchimo ndi kulakwitsa:
- Mphindi "Simukumvetsetsa ine", "Mwachiwonekere", "Kodi simungamvetse bwanji izi?", "Zimadziwika ndi aliyense", "Ndipotu zonse zili zolakwika" zikuwoneka kuti sizikumveka zopanda pake, koma zenizeni zimagwirizana ndi kupusa kwa mdani .
- Anthu amafunsa funso, koma samvetsera yankho, kapena amasintha mutu wa zokambirana mochititsa chidwi.
- Munthu amafotokozera maganizo ake pa nkhani yaikulu, ndipo womulankhulana amaseka mwadzidzidzi.
- Wotsutsana amalepheretsa interlocutor kapena kuchititsa zokambirana ngati kuchita zabwino.
- Pakati pa zokambirana, wopikisanayo amasiya kapena akudziyerekezera kuti tsopano sali kwa iye.
- Munthuyo amachititsa chidwi chidwi kwambiri: munthuyo amafufuzidwa, atakhudzidwa.
- Pamaso pa munthu amalankhula za iye mwa munthu wachitatu.
Timamvetsa, kumvetsa, zosasangalatsa kuzindikira kuti ndinuwetu. Anthu ena amakhulupirira molakwika kuti ndi nzika zokhala ndi nzeru zopanda ulemu. Ndipo inu, mwachitsanzo, muli ndi mwana wotentha ndi mayi wolimba, kumbuyo sukulu, diploma ndi ulemu, digiri ya master, nyimbo zamakono, masewera. Koma tiyeni tisiyane ndi ine ndikuchotsa kulakwitsa kosafunikira. Kotero, chifukwa chiyani kunyenga ndi kozolowereka? Chifukwa ngati mulibe chida ichi, mungafune kuwonetsa mwamuna wanu amene ali ndi udindo pano, agwiritsanso ntchito chiwongolero, ndipo munthu wokondedwa, ndizotheka, angayankhe ndi ndowe kumanja. Koma mumangonena kuti: "Nyamuka pamubedi, yemwe ali atate wako, amamanga msomali pamsomali, kotero Igor Popov anagula galimoto ya Masha," iye akuyankha kuti: "Siyani, ha? Kapena, wodandaula kuchokera kwa bwana wopusa, mwina udafotokozera pamsonkhano waukulu kuti: "Kodi mukudziwa, Aristarkh Epifanievich? Ndondomeko yanu yosamalira dipatimentiyi ndi yonyansa, mwasokoneza antchito, zimandipweteketsa." Muli nthawi yosakhutitsidwa kupatula kuti chitseko chimakhala chochepa kwambiri kuposa nthawi zonse. Ndipo mukudziwa, lolani khalidwe lanu liri lovuta kutchula chitsanzo, koma ndiloyenera. Chifukwa chakuti zonsezi sizomwe zimatsutsana kwambiri ndi mkwiyo ("Ndili chiyani?" "Ine ndine chabe"), kumverera kobadwa mwa anthu onse omwe akuwoneka ndikuwathandiza kuteteza zoyenera zawo. Ndipo ngati simumupatsa chifuniro, zotsatira zake zingakhale zomvetsa chisoni kwambiri.
Zimene zachitika zapita
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za munthu wokhwima ndikumatha kumva mkwiyo wake pa nthawi yomwe akungoyamba kumene. Pambuyo pake, kenako, wokwiya kwambiri, munthu amakhala wofooka pamaso pa mphamvu zake. Zingakhale zabwino kuti muzindikire kukhumudwa mu mphindi yokomayo, pamene imangokhala mizu ndipo nthawi yomweyo imachotsa nthunzi: ithetsani antistress mpira, yendani mozungulira ndi msanga, ndikuwonetsa kusakhutitsidwa kwanu, koma mwaulemu, monga akunena, popanda kuthamanga. Koma, mwatsoka, ambirife timapangidwa ndi maphunziro a Soviet system. Kuyambira ubwana ife taphunzitsidwa kuti ndi kulakwa kukwiya, ndi kulakwa, muyenera kuletsa mtima, kukhala olimba. Ndicho chifukwa chake anthu ambiri achikulire sakudziwa momwe angayang'anire kupsa mtima m'kupita kwanthawi ndipo amavutika mpaka kumapeto, ndikupereka khalidwe laukali kumapeto. Ndipo izi zikuwoneka osati zonyansa zokhazokha, koma amanyazi, nzika zanzeru - zokhazokha zomwe zimachitidwa kwa mitundu yonse yosiyana. Kukwiya kumasonyeza zinthu zitatu:
- mu khalidwe;
- mu lingaliro;
- mu physiology.
Kwa nthawi yaitali akatswiri a zaumulungu akhala akudandaula kuti mawu omwe akutsutsana ndi chikhalidwe cha chikhalidwe chathu sakuvomerezedwa. Amazitcha izi kufooka kwa chikhalidwe cha anthu. Njirayi ndi yosavuta: Kusayanjanitsika, kochulukitsidwa ndi chilankhulo "munthu aliyense," ndilofanana ndi "maluwa osadziletsa pakati pa anthu."
Ndiyenera kuchita chiyani?
Kuti mupirire mwankhanza, muyenera kuzindikira kuti mzimu wa "musayese, khalani pamwamba pake" wataya kufunikira kwake. Choyamba, chifukwa mumachita mwanjira ina. Funso ndilokha: nenani chinachake poyankha (kuchokera kunja) kapena mutha kudzudzula mkati mwanu (kunja). Kwa malingaliro anu ndi thupi lanu, anzeru omwe ali "kunja" amachita mwachangu: kodi mukukumbukira kumverera kwa nkhawa ndi maganizo? Koma musaganize kuti tikukulimbikitsani kuti muphunzire kukhala amwano: yankho kwa wozunza silikutanthauza kuwononga. Kotero, ngati mwadzidzidzi mumadula soseji kwa wogulitsa malonda, wogulitsa amalankhula momveka bwino kuti: "Pali ambiri a inu, ndipo ndine ndekha, zinthu zonse zikuchitika pano!", Musamakumbukire mwatcheru chinenero chonse choipa chimene munaphunzitsidwa kusukulu ya sekondale. Zokwanira kutenga mpweya wambiri ndikumbukira kuti kudula soseji ndi kutumikira makasitomala ndi ntchito ya msungwana. Choncho, tangolankhula izi moona mtima, mofatsa, koma molimbika: "Pepani, ndiwe wogulitsa, ndipo ndine wogula ndipo pakapita nthawi muyenera kunditumikira." Monga lamulo, mawu ngati amenewa ndi okhumudwitsa.
Palinso chinsinsi china: nthawi zambiri anthu omwe amachitira nkhanza amazunza munthu amene akumuukira. Kumbukirani masiku oipa: bwana sanakonde ntchito yanu, galimotoyo inasweka, popanda kuchenjeza kuti madzi otentha atsekedwa, ndipo tsopano hamovataya yemalonda akugulitsidwa pamapeto ndikukhala udzu wotsiriza. Chikhalidwe cha mkati sichirikuwonetseratu maonekedwe a nkhope, koma ndi mawonekedwe akunja monga onse. Choncho, ngati muwoneka ndikukhala osatetezeka, ndipo mwinamwake mukuwona zochitika zatsopano, zakwiya, ndiye mwayi wofika mu malo owonetsa zachiwawa ukukwera mwamphamvu.
Chotsatira ndi chimodzi: Sitikufuna kukumana ndi zovuta zosangalatsa - yang'anani mkhalidwe wanu wamkati. Sitifuna kukhala nyambo? Kenaka konzekerani kumbuyo kwanu, kuyang'anitsitsa anthu m'maso, kuyankhula modekha, osangokhalira kunong'oneza ndi kupfuula pang'ono.
Sungani, ndatenthedwa!
Ngati mukumvetsa kuti iyeyo sakudziwa kudzuka, mwina sangakhale wolondola, koma ndithudi samanena mwakachetechete, kapena akufikira kugwiritsira ntchito ndipo ali wokonzeka kudya aliyense amene mumakumana naye, mudzafunika kuphunzira kuchitapo kanthu mokwanira. Zochitika za Kum'mawa zidzakuthandizani pa izi, mwachitsanzo kupuma. Kupuma mozama komanso mopepuka-kutuluka kumathandiza kukupeza bwino, mofulumira komanso mwachidule - pafupifupi nthawi yomweyo amasintha kuchoka kunja kwa zochitika kunja. Njira ina ndi yabwino ndipo anabwera kwa ife kuchokera ku USA. M'malo momangolankhula mawu achipongwe kapena kupweteka misozi, imani ndi kudzifunsa kuti:
- Kodi ndikuopseza chiyani tsopano? (Yang'anani pa zinthu kunja);
- Kodi izi zikundiopseza ndi chiyani? (Yang'anani mkati mwanu: ulamuliro, malingaliro);
- Kodi ndingatani kuti nditeteze ndekha, popanda kupitirira malire a khalidwe?