Mau ochuluka a mau okongola, okhudzana ndi zolinga zachipembedzo zokhuza chikhululuko ndi kutha kwa mawu a tsiku ndi tsiku monga "Amene adzakumbukire zakale, ndi diso". Ndipo kumbuyo kwa khomali la zomangamanga zomveka bwino ndizovuta kuzindikira chofunikira cha ndondomeko yovuta kwambiri yotchedwa kukhululukidwa. Kodi timagwirizana bwanji ndi chikhululukiro cha Chirasha? Pita bwino, sichoncho? M'Chingelezi mumakhululukireni komanso mu chikhululukiro cha French - kwenikweni "kupereka." Chofunika cha njirayi ndi kusiya kunyamula katundu wina, kuti uwululepo, kuwuzani zabwino.
Inde, chikhululukiro ndizochita, kupatukana ndi chinachake, sitepe ndi sitepe. Khalani pansi ndi kudzikonza nokha: "Chabwino, mwamsanga khululukirani zoterozo!" - Izo sizigwira ntchito. Zotsatira sizidzakhala. Kukhululukidwa ndi chinthu chomwe chimasonyeza kuti mumamasula kulemera konse komwe kwapezeka mu mtima mwanu. Mudzasokonezeka nthawi zonse, kapena ndi munthu amene adakuwonongetsani maganizo. Ndipo izi n'zovuta kuchita chifukwa chophweka kuti zochita za chikhululukiro zimadzitengera zokhazokha, zamaganizo. Tikudziwa ndi inu zitsanzo zingati, pamene sitinathe kukhululukira wina, molondola? Kudzudzula, mkwiyo, mkwiyo, zimayambitsa ... Wokhululukidwa ali mu malo ovuta maganizo, omwe amatchedwa "wozunzidwa". Kodi mumamvetsa zomwe zikuchitika? Inu munanyozedwa, kuvulazidwa, kupweteka, mu mtima wa mkwiyo wotentha, chilakolako chobwezera. Liwu loyandikira kapena lamkati limati: Ndikhululukireni ine! Ndipo zikuwoneka zosatheka. Sichoncho?
Zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kukhululukirana muzokhumudwa. Komanso, nthawi zambiri timakhumudwitsidwa ndi anthu oyandikana nawo - omwe sali kuyembekezera kukhala opotoka, osayera, aulemu. Kwa akunja tikhoza kukwiyira, kukwiya, koma pakakhala kosavuta "kulavulira ndi kutupa", chifukwa tilibe kugwirizana kwakukulu ndi munthu uyu. Koma zanga, n'zovuta kukhululukira ndekha - ndikunyoza kwambiri!
Inde. Ndipo panthawi imodzimodziyo, timamva kuti sitiyenera kubwezera, ndiko kukhululukira iwo omwe ali mu bwalo la ena. Pambuyo pake, anthu awa ndi maubwenzi awo ndizofunikira kwambiri kwa ife. Komabe, mphamvu sizili zokwanira kukhululukira, ngakhale timadziwa kufunika kokhululukidwa ndi maganizo athu. Komanso, tikufuna kuchita izi, koma sitingathe kuchita izi.
Kodi mumayamba bwanji izi - kukhululukidwa? Tiyeni tipitirize kusanthula kwathunthu kwa zinenero: "kupatsa", "kupereka", "kukhululukirana - kunena zabwino - tenga zabwino - mbali zina". Kodi tanthauzo la mawu akalewa ndi lotani? Ndi lingaliro lotani? Lingaliro la kupatukana ndi chinachake chimene muyenera kupereka. Perekani chiyani? Choyamba, zimakulemetsani inu, zimakulemetsani. Kupatsa kwa ndani? Pano pali mayankho osiyanasiyana. Anthu okhulupirira adzanena - kwa Mulungu. Anthu amodzi adzanena - kwamuyaya. Ndani amakonda kuwerenga maganizo, adzanena kuti tiyenera kumasulidwa, kutengeka maganizo ndi maganizo athu m'malo mwa psychotherapy. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, tikukamba za kubwezeretsa kusokonezeka maganizo pamtima posiya katundu wolemetsa wamtima kuchokera kwa inu nokha. Choyamba chochitika pachitetezero cha kukhululukidwa ndikupempha, ichi chenicheni kapena chiwombolo chowomboledwa.
Popanda kuyesetsa, mbali inayo sangakhululukidwe? Vuto la maganizo la chikhululuko ndiloti kumafuna kulapa ndi kuwombola kulakwa kwa munthu yemwe watikhumudwitsa. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, ngati tipemphedwa kuti atikhululukire, ndikuyesera kudzikonzera tokha, kulapa moona mtima zomwe zili zabwino, kuvomereza zowawa zathu ndi kuzigawa, ndi kosavuta kuti tigwirizane ndi zomwe zikuchitika ndikukhululukira munthu. Pamene tinakhumudwitsidwa, tinyozedwa, tinasokonezeka maganizo, ndipo sikuti timavomereza kulakwitsa kwawo, koma amayeseranso kulipira ndi ife - izi ndizo zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano. Malingaliro akuti ngati inu muyenera kukhululukira. Moyo umapanduka ndipo amafuna kubwezera! Kotero, ine ndikubwereza, choyamba choyambirira, molingana ndi lingaliro la zinthu, chiyenera kubwera kuchokera ku phwando lamlandu. Wachiwiri - kuchokera kwa wozunzidwa.
Ndi zophweka kulankhula za kusokonezeka, ngati za anzanu, mabwenzi. Ndi momwe mungaphunzire kukhululuka mwaukondano? Njira zamakono pamwamba pa wozunza sizigwira ntchito. Kutsika kwakukulu - nayenso. Sindikumva ngati ndikuphwanya ndi kupatukana. Ndi kukhumudwitsa ziphepo moyo. Monga lamulo, ngati mkazi sakhululukira munthu, vutoli silichoka. Icho chimaphatikizapo, kubisala mu thupi ndikukhala kumeneko kwa zaka zambiri. Ndipo vuto ndiloti makapulisiwa atapatsidwa chiwerengero chachikulu, ndipo amafukula. Kapena mkaziyo mwachinyengo amayamba kubwezera pa munthuyo. Ine, panjira, ndinapanga zogwirizana ndi kufunsa anzanga. Aliyense anavomereza kuti amakumbukira kuvulala kumene mwamuna wake anavulaza. Zoona, madandaulo theka omwe adakhululukira. Kukhululukidwa mu banja ndi mwinamwake nthawi yovuta kwambiri ya chiyanjano. Koma sikutheka kukhala ndi moyo popanda kukhululukira: chifukwa popanda kukhululukira munthu, tidzayesetsa kapena kubwezera chilango ndikubwezera. Anzanu anakuuzani moona mtima nkhaniyi. Ngakhale mkaziyo atatsimikizira mwamuna wake kuti: "Ndakhala ndikukukhululukirani kwa nthawi yaitali," - osati kwenikweni. Ndipo amagwiritsira ntchito mwayi pang'ono kuti amulange, kuti apweteke. Ndipo ngati muli ndi chilakolako cha mwamuna kuti adzalange mkazi wake, mungathe kulingalira momwe moyo wa hade umakhalira pamodzi.
Kodi n'zothekadi kukhululukira wokondedwa wanu? Kodi izi sizongopeka? Zikuwoneka kuti njira yopezeka bwino kwambiri kuchoka pa maganizo a psychohygiene ndiyo kungopeputsa zoipidwa mutatha kumvetsa chifukwa chake mwamuna wanu anachita izi. Ndipo kunena ndekha: inde, kuchuluka kwa mkwiyo sikungapeweke. Zina mwaiwala ndikuiwala ndizosatheka. Koma inenso sindiyesera kulanga, sindidzalanga. Izi ndizo: Kuzindikira kuti m'moyo mwanu padzakhala zifukwa zosakhululukidwa. Kotero chiyani? Ndi ichi mungathe kukhala ndi moyo - ngati, zowonongeka zimagwirizana ndi ubalewu.
Ndizo - ngati kunyoza kumagwirizana. Pazochitika zonse, zizindikiro zawo. Ngati kuyala kwa kuvulaza ndi kotheka kuti simungathe kuwoloka? Ngati kuvulala koteroko kulibe limodzi kapena awiri, koma khumi? Ngati chidziwitso cha mwamuna kapena mkazi ndi chakuti sangathe kudziyanjanitsa ndi vutoli? Pali zifukwa zambiri. Kuchokera muzochita zanga za maganizo, ndinatsiriza: nthawi zambiri mu ubale wa amuna ndi akazi, anthu sangathe kuwakhululukira kapena sakufuna. Ndipo sikuti iwo akuyesera kulipira chimodzimodzi. Pokhapo pali mgwirizano waukulu ndi wolemera kuchokera kwa wina ndi mzake zomwe zimawoneka kuti kugwirizana kwapakati kumayendetsedwa ndi dzimbiri ...
Mwinamwake, ndipo musayambe kukambirana momveka bwino za ubwino ndi kudzichepetsa kuti mukhululukire? Mwinanso pali zochitika zomwe zokhazo zowoneka bwino ndi zathanzi kuchokera pa malingaliro amalingaliro zidzakhala momwe "diso kwa diso, dzino kulipira dzino"? Katswiri wa zamaganizo Robert Inrayt anasonyeza chidziwitso chodziwika bwino: kukhululukira, timasiya cholakwa chimene tili nacho, ndikupereka kwa iwo amene adativulaza, ndiubwenzi. Nietzsche ankakhulupirira kuti kukhululukidwa ndi chiwonetsero cha kufooka. Akatswiri ena amalingaliro amakhulupirira kuti kukhululukidwa ndikosiyana ndi chilungamo. Kukhululukira, ife taletsedwa mwayi kuti tipeze kukhutira. Mwachitsanzo, mwamuna adanyoza mkazi - adakhululukira, motero amamupatsa chilolezo choti apitirize kunyozedwa. Mnzanga walakwitsa - tinamukhululukira, kumulola kuti apitirize kuchita zimenezo. Kodi ndiko kuti chikhululuko chimakhala chisomo?
Inde, ndipo asayansi ambiri anatsutsana za izi. Mwachitsanzo, katswiri wina wafilosofi wa ku Russia, Ivan Ilyin, anati: pali zinthu, kukhululukira zomwe, timayesetsa kuti azitsatira. Inde, chikhululukiro chili ndi malire. Ngati wina wakukhululukira, pamene akumva zowawa, ndikukhululukidwa - woweruza, nkoyenera kulingalira ngati mukuchita chinthu choyenera. Komabe, kuti mutenge chinsinsi cha mitu yonse ya maubwenzi osiyanasiyana a anthu ndizosatheka. Zotsatirazi zimabwera m'maganizo: ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi amakhala moyo womwewo ndi mitsempha yowamba, ndizofunikira kuti mukhululukire. Koma ngati miyoyo ya okwatirana ikufanana, mwachionekere, chikhululukiro chimasintha. Zoonadi, sindikukamba za zoopsa - kuzunzidwa kwakukulu, kuzunzidwa, kuchititsidwa manyazi. Apa sikutinso zakhululukiro ndi kudzikuza, koma za masochism.
Pali kale njira zingapo zokhuza chikhululukiro: kulekana ndi kulekana; kukwera pamwamba pazimenezo; kuvomereza mkhalidwewo, chabwino, kuvomereza - ngati chitsanzo choipa. Ndi chiyani chinanso?
Pali njira yotereyi monga chitukuko cha maofesi awo. Kawirikawiri, sitingathe kukhululukira munthu, osati chifukwa cha chiwawa choopsa, koma chifukwa chakuti zinthuzo zinali zogwirizana ndi nthawi yaitali, mwina za ana, zovuta ndi zodandaula. Tengani nkhani ya mnzanu Natalya ndi tebulo loipa. Tangoganizani kuti ali mwana, adalonjezedwa mphatso ya tsiku la kubadwa kwake kapena chidole cha Chaka Chatsopano. Msungwanayo anali kuyembekezera tsiku lokondedwa, kuyembekezera, ndipo chifukwa chake, yemwe analonjeza, anabwera popanda chidole. Ndipo patapita zaka zambiri mu moyo wachikulire chomwecho chimabwerezedwa
Chirichonse chiri chokha. Munthu mmodzi adzakhululukira mosavuta chiwembu, koma sangakhululukire ziyembekezo zonyenga, wina sangakhululukire konse manyazi, komanso kupyolera mwachinyengo "pitirira". Ife sitikudziwa momwe tingawathokoze, komanso sitimakhululukira munthu wina wosayamika. Posachedwa munthu anabwera kwa ine kuti akambirane, tiyeni timutche iye Constantine. Nthawi ina adathandizira bwenzi lake kuti apange ntchito - anaika mau ake pambali pake. Ndipo pamene iye adatembenukira kwa bwenzi kuti amuthandize, iye anakana. Komanso, poyankha chitonzo: "Koma ndinakuthandizani!" - Anati: "Ndipo pano? Zimenezo zinanditsogolera! "
Ziribe kanthu momwe zinthu zikuyendera, palibe chifukwa chake muyenera kufikako pa malo a wogwidwa. Kuchokera pa izo palibe njira yotulukira: inu mwina muwonongeke kapena mukhale wakupha. Ponena za kukhululukidwa pazimenezi ndipo musagwedezeke. Anthu amphamvu komanso olimba mwauzimu ndi okhoza kukhululukira. Ndipo kukhululukira chifukwa chogawanitsa kapena pamsonkhano pazondondomeko zatsopano ndi bizinesi yawo.