Hafu yokongola yaumunthu ndi yochenjera pa zosankha zake, ngati ndi ubale weniweni. Kwa mkazi, mwamuna yemwe alibe chidziwitso ndi mwamuna, kupitiliza mpikisano. Choncho, atate wa ana amtsogolo amasankhidwa mosamvetsetseka. Mkhalidwe wokhala ndi chikondi ndi chithunzichi ndiwonetsedwe ka chisankho chachilengedwe. Mwachidule, amai amapanga chisankho, chomwe chimadutsa cholimba kwambiri, kapena chokongola kwambiri, kapena champhamvu kwambiri kapena chapamwamba kwambiri, chinzeru komanso cholimba, mofulumira komanso chosangalatsa.
Mkazi akamanena kuti amakonda mtundu wina, izi zikutanthauza kuti ndi amuna awa omwe amawaona kuti ndi opitilizabe. Tsoka ilo, chisankho chosankha wokondedwa mnzako pokhapokha chikhalidwe chimayambitsa chisokonezo chakuyanjana, monga kuyankhulana kwapafupi ndi zochitika zomwe zimatsegula mbali zatsopano za mnzanuyo. Zingakhalenso zozindikira kuti wosankhidwayo adakhala munthu wosiyana kwambiri ndi kalonga, monga momwe adawonekera pa nthawi yachisangalalo choyamba kukonda ndi fano. Ndiko kuzindikira kuti kubwera kwachilengedwe sikofunika kwambiri kusankha.
Ndipo mwanayo akhoza kukhala ndi ubwino wokhala ndi moyo, koma kodi zingathandize bwanji, ngati banja likukhumudwa ndipo makolo akukhumudwitsidwa wina ndi mzake? Mwanayo, motero, amakula m'madera osokonezeka maganizo, kodi amayi ake amafuna? Funso lakuti "momwe mumamvetsetsa mwamuna ndiloyenera kwa mkazi" akufunsidwa ndi mamiliyoni a atsikana ndi amayi. Zindikirani kuti mayesero onse a maganizo pamutuwu akuchokera pazolinga za anthu komanso maganizo. Chifukwa ndizimene zimathandiza kumvetsetsa ngati mwamuna ali woyenera ndipo ndi maziko a chisankho. Chifukwa cha chitukuko, timatanthawuza za umoyo waumunthu, chikhalidwe chake, kukwaniritsa zolinga zake, udindo wake wa moyo, khalidwe lachibale, udindo. Ndimalingaliro amalingaliro timamvetsetsa kugwirizana pakati pa abwenzi, ubale wa uzimu, kumvetsetsa ndi kulemekezana, makhalidwe amtundu. Kusankha munthu molingana ndi lingaliro la maganizo kumapangitsa kuti chitetezo cha mkazi chikhale pamtendere, chikhazikiko ndi chisangalalo poyankhulana ndi mwamuna. Kusankha mwachitukuko kumapangitsa mkazi kukhala bata, chitetezo chaumoyo, moyo wabwino. Njira yabwino, ngati mwamuna amayenera mkazi ndi zonse zoyenera.
Kuti mumvetse ngati mwamuna ali woyenera mwa njira yomwe amachitira ndi mkazi, mumusamala, kulemekeza maganizo ake ndi ufulu wake. Ndikofunika kuti mkaziyo ali wokonzeka kukhala pafupi ndi wosankhidwayo, zomwe amalingalira komanso momwe akunena za iye - ngati mkazi samlemekeza mnzake, ndiye kuti sizifanana naye, posakhalitsa zidzathetsa mikangano. Mwamuna yemwe amakhumudwitsa mkazi wake kapena kusakwiya naye. Poyerekeza ndi wosankhidwayo, mkaziyo ayenera kukhala ndi maganizo abwino okha; kuzindikira kuti ndi mwayi wanji kukakumana naye. Kumverera kwa chikondi kumapita mofulumira, koma munthuyo amakhalabe, choncho lingaliro la chikondi ndilofunika, lomwe liri lakuya, lamphamvu ndi lalikulu kuposa chikondi.
Ngati mkazi wapeza wokondedwa wake yekha, ndiye kuti chikondi sichidzasungunuka ndi nthawi, koma chidzakula ndikukula. Chikondi chimachokera kumalingaliro, chikhalidwe cha zofuna, kulemekezana. Akazi ambiri amapanga kuchuluka kwa mayeso kwa ubwino ndi chiopsezo, povumbulutsidwa poyankhulana ndi munthu. Kotero kale kumayambiriro koyamba kumakhala zomveka kuti mwamuna amayamikira kwambiri mkazi. Koma, chofunika kwambiri, musalowerere mu mutu wopima, ngati simungathe kuwona mwamunthu mosiyana ndi munthu wodabwitsa ndi wotseguka, mofanana ndi maloto anu a kalonga.