Kwa amayi ambiri, lingaliro la ambuye limatanthauza kuopsa kwa banja. Ndipotu, ngati mungathe kukhala mbuye wabwino kwa mwamuna wanu, izi zidzalimbitsa banja lanu ndi kuchepetsa chiopsezo chakuti mwamuna wanu adzatero, monga momwe anthu amanenera, "yendani kumanzere." Koma momwe mungakhalire mbuye wabwino kwa mwamuna wake?
Mayi wabwino kwambiri ndi, mkazi woyambirira yemwe akufuna komanso atha kukhala pabedi kuti akhale mwamuna wokondedwa kwambiri. Chodabwitsa kwambiri, koma kugonana mu ubale wapamtima si chinthu chofunikira kwambiri. Mungathe kuloweza pamtima Kama Sutra ndi mtima, mwaluso muphunzire njira yopanga zochitika zonse, koma simungakhale zomwe mwamuna wanu adzazifuna. Ziribe kanthu kaya mkaziyo ali ndi mawonekedwe odabwitsa kapena chikhalidwe cha African, chinthu chachikulu ndi chakuti iye amadziwa kukhala wokongola. Chifukwa cha kafukufuku woperekedwa ndi VTsIOM, amuna makumi asanu ndi awiri (55%) adafunsidwa kuti asankhe kugonana monga khalidwe lofunika, ndipo khalidwe lokhalo lofunika kwambiri ndilo linalilo - linasankhidwa ndi 49%. Koma malingaliro omwe anali nawo pamasewerawa sanali oyamba.
Kodi mungagone bwanji? Malingana ndi ambiri a amuna omwe anafunsidwa, mkazi wachigololo ndi mmodzi yemwe sazengereza kusonyeza chikhumbo chake ndipo amatha kuchigwiritsa ntchito. Pokhala pafupi ndi mkazi woterowo, mwamuna ayenera kumverera mwachikhumbo chikhumbo chochokera kwa iye. Mkazi wogonana ayenera kukonda kugonana ndikupeza chisangalalo, osati kungochita nawo. Ayenera kukhala wogwira ntchito yogonana.
Pofuna kukhala wokondedwa ndi wokondedwa kwa wina, choyamba muyenera kudzikonda nokha, khalani otsimikiza ndikudziwa nokha mtengo. Koma musadzisokoneze nokha. Momwe mwamuna amawonera bwino mkazi wodzidalira sagwidwa ndi zovuta zambiri. Ngati mumaphunzira kudzizindikira nokha momwe mumakhalira, mosasamala kanthu kulemera kwanu, kutalika, chifuwa chaching'ono kapena chiuno chachikulu, chomwecho chidzachitanso amuna omwe akuzungulirani. Ndikwanzeru kudzikonda nokha ndipo ndi kusiyana pakati pa mkazi wokondweretsa ndi mkazi wokondweretsa m'zinthu zonse. Chomwe chingasinthe chiwombankhangachi mosavuta, koma chomwe sichikutheka ndipo chimayenera. Ndi chifukwa chake atsikana, monga kulemera kwake, omwe amamwetulira pa galasilo ndikutsatira mfundo yakuti pakhale anthu ambiri abwino, palibe osowa chidwi. Ngati mkazi adzikonda yekha, ndiye kuti amapita ndi mwamuna, osati chifukwa chofunikira, koma chifukwa akufunadi. Sagonana kuti asunge mwamuna pafupi naye, koma chifukwa amamukonda. Mkazi wotero wakhala wakhala ndi chinsinsi kwa mwamuna. Ndipo chikhoza kukhala champhamvu kuposa chikhumbo chothandizira kuthetsa vutolo.
Pofuna kusangalala ndi kugonana ndikudzipereka kwa mnzanu, mkazi ayenera kukhala osatetezedwa. Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi mwa mkazi aliyense m'magazi. Koma n'chifukwa chiyani ambiri amaiwala kuti mukhoza kukondana osati kale, koma pa nthawi yogonana. Kupusitsa ndi kumunyodola mnzanu pabedi, mutha kuchotsa mavuto omwe amamangirira zofuna zanu ndikukondweretsa mnzanuyo komanso nokha. Musaiwale kuti kugonana ndi gawo lachibadwa la chikondi chanu. Phunzirani kusangalala ndi zomwe zikuchitika ndipo zidzakupatsani zosangalatsa zosayerekezeka. Ngati, mwachitsanzo, mutathyola chidendene, chitani ngati mtsikana wotsatsa malonda - kuswa yachiwiri ndikupitirira (kupita ku sitolo ya nsapato kapena kwa mnzanu). Mzimayi yemwe sazengereza komanso osadziletsa amachitira zinthu zoterezi, m'mabuku 90%, amuna amazindikira kuti ndi amayi, osagonjetsedwa.
Chikondi kukondweretsa wokondedwa wanu. Amayi ambiri amakono akugonana amaganiza ngati mwamuna angakondweretse IM. Mayi wangwiro ayenera kukumbukira kuti zimadalira kwambiri. Malamulo oyambirira a chiyanjano chabwino cha kugonana ndikuti muyenera kupereka zambiri kuposa momwe mumalandira.
Mmodzi wa adani oopsa a ubale weniweni ndi woperewera pansi ndi zotsatizana pa bedi. Zakhala zikudziwika kuti munthu angakuthandizeni kwambiri ngati mumamuuza zachindunji, popanda malingaliro, makamaka pabedi. Musazengereze kuuza wokondedwa wanu za momwe mumakonda. Ndipo ngati mutsimikiza mawu anu moan ndi kuusa moyo, ndiye mundikhulupirire, nthawi yotsatira simudzasowa kufunsa. Makhalidwe abwino mwa amuna amapangidwa mofulumira kwambiri, ndipo chinthu chophweka ngati "chisangalalo chokomera - iye amasangalala" amakumbukira mofulumira kwambiri.
Monga mukudziwira, amuna amakonda kwambiri pamene akuyamikiridwa, ochuluka kuposa akazi. Mkazi wanzeru amatha kutamanda mwamuna wake nthawi zonse kuti amve ngati mfumu ya dziko lapansi, koma panthawi yomweyi, popanda kumukhumudwitsa, kutchula kuti, kumvetsera kwambiri nthawi zosangalatsa, akhoza kumusangalatsa.
Kukhala ndi chigonjetso chogonana, monga lamulo, kumakhudza kwambiri moyo wauzimu ndi gawo la ntchito za anthu. Ndipo monga izo zimadziwika kwa munthu wopambana nthawizonse ndi mkazi. Ndipo ngati mkaziyu ali wokonda kwambiri mwamuna wake, ndiye kuti adzapambana kawiri.