Mfundo yakuti simukukhala nayo nyumba yanu isagwirizane ndi khalidwe lanu la kugonana. Tiyeni tiwone momwe tingakonzekeretse kugonana kwabwino, mosasamala komwe muli.
Pa zaka zathu zazing'ono, sitimagwirizana kwambiri ndi malo ndi zikhalidwe. Timalenga nthawi zonse, tambani chinthu choti mupemphe amayi kuti azikhala pakhomo ndikupeza malo omwe mukhoza kupuma pantchito ndi mnzanu mpaka pachimake cha phwando lokondwa komanso lokondwa. Ndiye bwanji pa nthawi yokalamba kwambiri sitingathe kuchita izi? Nchifukwa chiyani tikusowa nyumba yopanda achibale ndi ana, okhala ndi malo aakulu ndi bedi lachiwiri?
Ndipotu, pali njira yotulukira, izi ndizo zongopeka chabe. Mukungofuna zozizwitsa pang'ono, kumbukirani momwe zinalili muubwana wanu - ndipo moyo wanu wa kugonana udzaphika ngati kale.
Kugonana m'nyumba ya anthu oipa
Momwemo nthawi zambiri mu nyumba imodzi imabweretsa mibadwo ingapo. Aliyense ali ndi zifukwa zake zokha - zingakhale kusowa ndalama kugula nyumba yanu kapena kubwereka nyumba iliyonse, kufunika kukhala kwinakwake powonetsa nyumba yanu ikukonzekedwa ndi zina zotero. Ndizovuta ziti zomwe zingakugwetseni inu? Ena akudandaula kuti m'moyo wawo wogonana asanakondwere, ndipo m'nyumba ya makolo onse amakhala ngati kanema wachisomo - palibe kayendedwe kosafunikira ndi kumveka. Anthu ambiri omwe ali mu mkhalidwewu amamva kuti akulephera, sangathe kumasuka, chifukwa amadziwa kuti kumbuyo kwa khoma ndi amayi ndi abambo akugona. Zinthu zina zomwe zimakhudza moyo wapamtima zimakhala mantha kuti mumagwidwa pa nthawi yovuta kwambiri, ndipo muyenera kudziletsa pazomwe mukuchita.
Inde, pali njira yotulukira. Tonsefe tikudziwa kuti zinthu zomwezo sizowopsya kwambiri monga momwe ziliri ndi ubale wathu. Izi zikusonyeza kuti muyenera kuchotsa kudzichepetsa ndipo, ngakhale zilizonse, sungani banja lanu ndi moyo wawo, osati za maganizo omwe angagonjetse anthu ena. Chabwino, ndithudi, ndibwino kukumbukira za malamulo ophweka a makhalidwe abwino.
- Choyamba, muyenera kusamala kuti chitseko cha chipinda chikhoza kutsekedwa. Chifukwa chake, mumasowa lolo, kapena pulasitiki. Ngati mumakonda zachiwerewere zachilendo komanso zosangalatsa zamakono zimagwiritsa ntchito makhalidwe enaake, ndiye kuti saziika pamalo oonekera, ndibwino kuzibisa, ngati simukufuna kuti makolo anu awone.
- Achibale ndi makolo omwe amakhala ndi inu safunikira kudziwa zomwe mukuchita ku nyumba yanu. Ngati mutasokonezeka ndi chowongolera cha bedi, ndiye mutenge latsopano kapena mutsike pansi matiresi pansi. Kovertozhe yofewa ikhoza kukhala malo abwino usiku, yosungira. Kumbukirani filimu yakale "mipando khumi ndi iwiri", kumene ankhondo omwe athandizidwa ndi chithunzithunzi choyesera anayesera kulira phokoso la kupsompsona. Musasinthe malingaliro awo, musasokoneze ndi kuthandizidwa ndi nyimbo kapena kutsegula TV. Ndithudi kusukulu inu munaphunzira maphunziro a fisikiliya ndipo mukudziwa kuti kumveka phokoso limene amamvetsera. Chifukwa chake, zikhala bwino ngati mupereka chipinda chosokoneza ndi mitundu yonse ya diski ndi mafilimu ndi kubudula mu televizioni. "Onetsetsani" makolowo pa zochitika zochititsa chidwi, ndipo panthawi ino, yang'anani nkhani yofunika kwambiri, yomwe inakonzedweratu.
- Anthu ambiri akugwira ntchito "izi" mu osamba, powauza makolo kuti: "Ndibwerera kumbuyo kwanga." Madzi ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera mauthenga onse - amayesedwa. Komanso, makolo sasowa kudziwa komwe ndi chifukwa chake mudapitako. Iwo ndi akuluakulu, amamvetsa zonse.
- Gulani matikiti a makolo ku masewero kapena yesetsani kugonjera ku chikondi pamene achoka kudziko. Yesetsani kumanganso ntchito yanu momveka bwino kuti mutha kubwerera kunyumba chakudya chamasana ndi kusiya sutra kuti muzigwira ntchito mochedwa kuposa makolo anu.
- Chilimwe chili chonse chomwe muli nacho. Mukhoza kukonzekera kukondana mu nkhalango, rzhanopolye, kudera la haylo, kumangoyenda panja ndi zina zotero. Dulani moyo wa kugonana ndi malingaliro. Mwa njira, kodi mukudziwa kuti chilengedwe chimatipatsa mphamvu zogonana? Izi zikufotokozera kuti kuyandikana kwa mpweya watsopano kumakumbukirabe kwa nthawi yaitali.
- Ngati mutagwirizanitsa malingaliro opanga, ndiye kuti mudzakhala ndi malo osiyanasiyana omwe mungathe kupuma pantchito kwa munthu wokondedwa. Chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndi chakuti pali malo okondana mnyumba, ndiye simudzakhala ndi malire pa malo. Aliyense amadziwa mawu awa: "Tengani, musakhumudwe!".
Mu chipinda chimodzi chokhala ndi mwana
Banja lachichepere mu chipinda chimodzi chikumva kuti mfulu ndi odziimira okha, osati ndi makolo awo. Koma bwanji ngati banja likuwonjezereka? Makolo ambiri achinyamata amayamba nthawi yomweyo kufunsa kuti: "Ngati mwana atagona m'chipinda chimodzi ndi ife, ndiye kuti chinthu chomaliza chingathe kugonana komanso ngati ndi bwino?" Kodi tingachite chiyani pamene mwanayo akukula ndipo sitingathe kugona limodzi m'chipinda chimodzi?
Ndipo muzinthu izi kachiwiri pali njira yotulukira. Ambiri okwatirana amene anakhala makolo ku Soviet anali ndi zofanana. Palibe chomwe chinachitikira aliyense, iwo ali amoyo ndipo zonse ndi zachilendo ndi psyche. Ana amakono amakudziwa zambiri za chibwenzi, ndipo kawirikawiri mwana wanu wamwamuna wazaka seveni sangakhulupirire kuti mukuchita masewera.
- Pali mabanja amene ayenera kukhala m'chipinda chimodzi monga ana awiri. Anthu ambiri anasankha funsoli pogwiritsa ntchito magawo osavuta. Ngati mulibe mwayi wosintha chipinda kotero, m'pofunikira kusintha "dislocation". Musaiwale kuti m'nyumba iliyonse muli khitchini ndi bafa. Mosakayikira mungavomereze kuti kupanga chikondi nthawi zonse pabedi kumakhala kosangalatsa!
- Loweruka ndi Lamlungu ndi maholide ndizotheka kubweretsa ana kwa agogo ndi amayi omwe akudikira zidzukulu zawo kuti aziyendera. M'nyengo ya chilimwe, n'zotheka kukonza bedi pa khonde kapena kuyika sofa yosakaniza ku khitchini. Ana ali ndi chidwi kwambiri, choncho amanyengerera mwakachetechete kuti azikhala kutali ndi inu kapena kungowerenga buku lochititsa chidwi.
- Kuti ubwenzi wapamtima ukhalepo wopanda phokoso losafunikira, ndikofunikira kusankha malo abwino. Mkhalidwe wanu, ndibwino kuiwala za posandrader ndi mmishonare. Ugone pansi akuyang'anizana. Wokondedwa wanu yekha ayenera kusuntha, komanso, kukhumudwa kukhale kochedwa kwambiri. Kapena mupatseni malo a "supuni": khalani nokha kumbali, mutembenukire kumbuyo ndikubwezeretsani kumbuyo kwanu.
- Mukhozanso kukonzekera nyimbo pasadakhale, kotero kuti pamapeto pake sipadzakhala kusamvana kulikonse. Musamachite manyazi kusonyeza chikondi kwa wina ndi mzake, ngakhale pali mwana mu chipinda. Kumbukirani kuti panopa muli ndi zaka zisanu mumasitolo ogulitsa mabuku mungapeze mazinsi apadera okhudza kugonana omwe alembedwa ndi ana a maganizo a ana. Mukhoza kugula imodzi kwa mwana wanu ndikuyang'ana bukhu ili palimodzi, yesetsani kukhala wamanyazi mukamayankhula ndi zinyenyeswa pamitu yowonekera. Ndipo ngati mwadzidzidzi mwana akukula kukugwirizanitsani ndi chibwenzi, simukuyenera kuganizira zifukwa zosiyanasiyana ndikufotokozera zomwe ziri.
Monga lamulo, vuto sikuti zinthu sizili zofanana, vuto limachokera pamutu mwathu. Ngati simungathe kulimbana ndi mfundo yakuti mwatayika kugonana kwa mnzanu, ngati pali mwana kumbuyo kwa khoma, kapena m'chipinda, pita kwa katswiri: wogonana kapena wogonana.