Ngati msungwanayo akhale woyamba kuitanitsa, funsani nambala ya foni, yambani kukwatira, kuyankhulana ndi mnyamata wokongola-zokambirana zoterezi sizatsopano, ndipo zokambirana za mutuwu zakhala zikuchitika kwa nthawi yayitali, ndipo palibe ngakhale malingaliro amodzi. Zikuwoneka kuti zonsezi zidzayamba kugwirizana kuti msungwana sayenera kutenga njira iliyonse yowunikira, ndipo mowirikiza, ayenera kukhala chinsinsi pazochitika zonse. Koma ngakhale padzakhala ena omwe adzaphwanya malamulowa, padzakhala zokambirana zatsopano: kodi iwo akhoza kuphwanya ndi zomwe zidzachitike.
Muyenera kudziwa nokha zomwe zimatanthauza kuti mutengepo sitepe yoyamba, komanso momwe mukufuna kuti osankhidwa anu azikhala ndi ndondomeko yoyamba. Wina amakonda kuwonetsa, winayo kuvomereza ndi kuyankha zizindikiro za chidwi. Koma, ngakhale ziri zonsezi, aliyense wa ife amachitira zinthu molingana ndi vuto, kusankha chisankho cholondola, malingana ndi msinkhu wa chiyanjano, chikhalidwe cha banja, zochitika, maganizo pa kamphindi.
Atsikana ena ali ndi nkhawa kwambiri chifukwa chosowa chochita mwa osankhidwa awo. Ngati kwa kanthawi mnyamatayo amasiya kuwatchula kapena akuzindikira kuti anayamba kusonyeza zizindikiro zosasamala kwambiri, mawu oterewa amakhala chizindikiro chodziwikiratu. Msungwanayo akuyamba kudzikuza yekha kuti mnyamatayo wamuthandiza, kuti samuthandiza tsopano ndipo nthawi zambiri (ngakhale posakhalitsa) adakwanitsa kukondana ndi mtsikana wina ndikuyiwala kwathunthu. Mwinamwake iye si mtsikana konse, ndipo tsopano iye amayamba kumukwiyitsa iye? Pamene mtsikanayo amaganizira mobwerezabwereza zifukwa zomwe zimayendera, akuwonanso mbiri ya maubwenzi ndikuyang'ana tsankhu lina, mnyamatayo akhoza kukhala wotanganidwa kuphunzira, tsiku lobadwa la mlongo wake wokondedwa, vuto lina lomwe mwadzidzidzi linafika ndi bwenzi lake, kapena kuyembekezera iye mtsikanayo adzaitana. Ndipo bwanji, chifukwa iye amawoneka kuti akukonda kuti iye amawakonda iwo?
Vomerezani, izi siziri zatsopano ndipo zikuwoneka zopusa. Nchifukwa chiyani izi zimachitika? Nchifukwa chiyani nthawi zambiri timadzizunza tokha ndi funsoli: Kodi msungwanayo ayambe kumuyitana chibwenzi chake (malangizo a katswiri wa zamaganizo pazimenezi zikuwoneka kuti ndife ofunikira kwambiri)? Ndipo bwanji, pamene tidzipangira tokha yankho la funso ili, kodi timapitirizabe kudzikayikira, kudandaula za zochitika zomwezo komanso osakayikira zochita zathu?
Akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena kuti chifukwa cha zomwe takumana nazo pakudikirira foni ndi chifukwa chakuti tikusintha wokondedwayo kuti adziwe momwe timaganizira. Ndipotu, kuti msungwana ayenera kutenga sitepe yoyamba ndizosaoneka. Zili choncho kuti choyamba chiyenera kutengedwa ndi mwamuna, komanso kusonyeza zizindikiro za chidwi kwa bwenzi lake, kumupatsa mphatso, mosakayikira, kukumbukira momwe amamukondera, nthawi ndi nthawi kuti alibe chifukwa chokayika.
Sitikusowa zochitika zowonongeka, inde, amakhalabe m'maganizo athu kuyambira ali mwana. Aliyense wa ife akukula padziko lapansi kuyambira kale kale, zikhalidwe za anthu. Ndipotu, kunena kuti munthu amakuitanani nthawi zambiri sikukutanthauza kuti anayamba kukukondani kwambiri, komanso mosiyana - kodi mukuganiza kuti chikondi cha munthu chimadalira kuitana kwake mofanana?
Ngati izi zikutanthauza zambiri kwa inu ndipo mukufunikira chibwenzi chanu kukuitanirani choyamba - muuzeni za izo. Ndi bwino kuchenjeza zokhumba zanu, kukambirana momveka zomwe mukufuna - ndipo simudzakhalanso ndi nkhawa.
Ndipotu, zikhoza kuchitika kuti anthu, m'malo mokondana okhaokha, kuthandizira, kugwiritsira ntchito nthawi yachindunji ndi "kuthandizana" kuchokera ku zovuta zowonjezereka, ayambe kuganiza za momwe ayenera kukhalira, zoyenera kuchita, kusunga ubale, momwe mungamupangire munthuyo kumayambiriro, momwe angamuthandizire munthuyo zokhumba zawo. Kuchokera apa, atsikana akuda nkhaŵa, ndipo pali malingaliro ochuluka kwambiri, omwe maubwenzi anu amawopsa chabe.
Ndipotu, ziribe kanthu kuti ndi ndani yemwe amachititsa choyamba, yemwe ali wachiwiri kapena wachitatu, momwe amachitira izo komanso ngati zikugwirizana ndi malo abwino. Zing'onozing'ono bwanji zomwe sizikumveka - koma zikhale nokha, kusiya zonse zosayenera za izi, chifukwa ngati muli ndi chibwenzi zimatanthauza kuti wakusankhani kale ndipo iwe, ndithudi, ndiwe mtsikana wabwino kwambiri, mwinamwake amathera nthawi ndi ndi wina.
Pali zosiyana zambiri zomwe zimatikakamiza kuti tiyikire zomwe timachita. Mmodzi wa iwo ndi kuti mkazi ayenera kukhala wosayandikira, nthawi zonse kukopa mnzake, pakuti iye adzakhala woyamba kusonyeza kumverera kulikonse kwa iye, iye amasiya kukhala wokondweretsa kwa iye. Izo siziri choncho. Cholinga chimene sichingakhoze kupindula ndichabechabe, ndipo chidwi chake chimangogwira mofulumira monga momwe chimakhalira ndi zomwe mwapeza panthawi yomweyo. Anyamata amaonanso kuti tikufunikira kuti tiwatsimikizire chikondi chawo, kuti tiwone ngati iwo ali okhawo komanso omwe ali abwino kwambiri.
Maubale ndi ofunika kwambiri ndikumvera, mphamvu ya chikondi chanu. Khalani owona mtima kwambiri ndi mnzako ngati mukudandaula ndi chinachake, inu nonse - mugawane naye, mwadzidzidzi si chanu, ndipo mwinamwake, mutha kuthetsa vutoli palimodzi, chifukwa ndinu amodzi. Sankhani nokha zomwe ziri zofunika, ndi zomwe ziyenera kukhala zodabwitsa, ndi zomwe osamvetsera.
Kusintha kwa zikhulupiriro za anthu ena, mumangopereka moyo wanu. Dzifunseni nokha, kodi msungwanayo ayambe amutcha chibwenzi chake, achoke pa tinthu "ayenera" ndikuganiza: kodi ndikufuna kumuitana tsopano? Kodi ndikufunikira izi? Kodi iye angakonde izo tsopano, ndipo zingakhale zoyenera? Malangizo a katswiri wa zamaganizo, pachiyambi, amachokera momveka bwino pakumverera kwanu.
Ngati inde - musadzizunze nokha ndi kukayikira, chifukwa chikondi si malo owonetserako, osati chiganizo, chitani momwe mukuonera komanso momwe mumamvera.