Pali maanja omwe mwamuna nthawi zonse amawona kuti ndi anzeru kwambiri, koma mkazi wake amaganiza kuti ndi wopusa kwambiri. Iye amamukumbutsa nthawi zonse izi ndipo amatsatira mwachidule mawu ake onse ndi malingaliro ake: simuli bwino. Nchifukwa chiyani anyamata akuchita izi, ndipo ndi chifukwa chanji maganizo olakwika a malingaliro a mkazi?
Mavuto
Kawirikawiri amuna sali anzeru monga momwe amafunira kuwonekera. Ndipo mu moyo iwo amadziŵa okha za izi, koma m'makutu iwo samavomereza. Ngati pambali pa mwamuna woteroyo pali mkazi yemwe ali wanzeru komanso wanzeru, pakuti mnyamata uyu akuwoneka kuti ndiwopseza kwenikweni. Amamvetsetsa bwino kuti msungwana angathe kukhumudwitsa ena polakwika. Ndipo izi zikutanthauza kuti iye adzataya ulamuliro wake pamaso pa abwenzi ndi achibale. Mwachibadwa, mnyamatayo sakonda script iyi. Iye safuna kugwa kuchokera pazitsulo zake ndikuyamba kunyoza malingaliro a mtima wake. Nthawi zambiri anyamatawa samamvetsera. Mtsikanayo atangoyamba kulankhula, nthawi yomweyo amafuula kuti sali bwino ndipo sakudziwa kanthu. Ndipo mwamunayo sangathe kutsutsana ndi zomwe zili pamwambazi, choncho izi zimasankha mwa kufuula, nthabwala zosasangalatsa kapena kukakamiza makhalidwe. Muzochitika zotere ndi mnyamata simungathe kukangana kapena kutsutsana, chifukwa sakufuna kudziwa choonadi. Amafuna kubisa maganizo ake ofooka.
Kuwonetseratu kwa zolakwika
Mwamwayi, pali zinthu zovuta komanso zosasangalatsa zomwe mnyamatayo amayesera kuti asonyeze kuti chibwenzi chake sichili bwino. Mosiyana ndi anthu olemekezeka kwambiri, otsutsa ndi ochenjera komanso ochenjera. Iwo amadziwa bwino bwino zomwe anganene ndi kuti. Ndipo mu mphamvu zamaganizo, asungwanawo amakayikira poyera chifukwa chakuti amadziwa kuti ngati munthu akuganiza kwambiri, zimakhala zovuta kumulondolera. Mu chiyanjano cha wogwidwa ndi wozunzidwa, ulamuliro ndiwo maziko. Zotsutsa sizilola akazi awo kuganiza ndi kupanga zosankha okha. Pamene wofunsayo ayamba kulankhulana ndi munthu wina, amakhazikitsa "chisokonezo".
Kodi tikukamba za chiyani? Kuyankhulana ndi anthu, nthawi zonse timapempha kanthu, timakhala ndi chidwi ndi zina zotero. Koma nthawi zina anthu safuna kuti alankhule nafe. Zotsutsa zimadziwa momwe tingagwiritsire ntchito malingaliro athu mwa njira yomwe zimatiwoneka kuti kuyankhulana ndiko kofunikira. Nthawi zambiri, mtsikanayo sadziwa ngakhale kuti chibwenzi chake ndi chigawenga. Iye ndi wotsimikiza kuti mnyamatayu ali wachikondi kwambiri ndipo amayesera kuthandiza pa chirichonse, kukonza kumene sakuyenera. Koma m'kupita kwanthawi, wogwidwa ndi wofunkhayo adzakhala wolakwika m'zonse. Nthawi zonse amayenera kumvera tirades lonse chifukwa sakudziwa chilichonse ndipo sangathe. Kodi ichi ndi chiani? Ndi zophweka, mwa njira iyi, wofunsira "akumangiriza" wozunzidwa yekhayo ndipo akufuna kufooketsa m'maganizo mwake kuti sangathe kuchita chirichonse ndipo angangotayika pansi popanda mutu wake ndi mutu wanzeru.
Ndipotu aliyense wa despotrevalno amayesa malingaliro a wokondedwa wake ndi wochenjera, makamaka pamene amamulimbikitsa mkaziyo. Popanda kuzindikiranso, muzochita zake ndiye kuti amatsogoleredwa ndi mantha. Iye sakufuna kukhalabe wopanda mkazi wokondedwa, koma amaganiza kuti sizingatheke kumusunga. Kuonjezera apo, otsutsa amayesa kupanga kuchokera ku halves awo anthu abwino omwe adayamba kudziganizira okha. Kotero kuti kumudzudzula mkazi wake, munthu wopusa amangoyesera kuti asinthe malingaliro ake. Ngati izi sizichitika, mtsikanayo ndi wolakwika. Khalidwe lachiwerewere ndi kuphwanya maganizo. Ngati awiri sangavomereze maganizo omwe ali osiyana ndi ake, ndiye kuti sikuti ali munthu wokwanira. Iwo omwe ali ndi psyche wodekha samavutika konse ndi paranoia chotero. Amuna amenewa amapatsa akazi awo ufulu wosankha ndipo amafuna kuti iwo adzikonzekeretse, aphunzire zina zatsopano ndi zina zotero. Mwachidziŵikire palibe mantha oopsya a kusiya. Ngati mwamuna nthawi iliyonse amatsegula pakamwa pake ndi mkazi ndipo amamutsimikizira kuti sikulondola, ndiye kuti chisankho chili chabwino - zikutanthauza kuti ife tisanakhale ndi maganizo osokonezeka omwe sangazindikire mokwanira zenizeni.
Pankhaniyi, mkaziyo akusiya kukhala ndi ufulu wovota. Mwamunayo samangomva ndipo safuna kumva maganizo ake. Ndikoyenera kudziwa kuti zifukwa zongopeka zingakhale zozindikira kapena zochepa. Ngati munthu akudziwa zomwe akuchita, amamuimba mlandu chifukwa chosamuopseza ndikumuuza kuti sangakhale ndi moyo popanda iye, chifukwa nkhuku zotere ndi zopusa zimafunikira. Iwo omwe sadziwa kuti tsogolo lawo amangoganiza kuti mkazi akulakwitsa, chifukwa sakuchita monga momwe angaganizire. Poyankhula kuti iye ndi wolakwika, mnyamatayo amasokoneza mtsikanayo, zimamupangitsa kukwiya. Iye sangathe kumvetsa yemwe ali wolondola ndi yemwe ali wolakwika. Ndipo ngati munthu ali ndi malingaliro okhwima, amatha kusokoneza mkaziyo kotero kuti pamapeto pake, amakhulupiriradi kupusa kwake, kupenya kwafupipafupi komanso ngakhale kutaya chitukuko. Potero, wogonjetsa adzalandira ulamuliro wonse pa iye ndipo adzamuthandiza moyo wake wonse. Mzimayi amangozindikira kuti sangathe kuchita chilichonse, choncho nthawi zonse amakhala ndi maganizo a mnyamata wake ndipo amayamba kunena kuti nthawi zonse amalephera kukhala chete, chifukwa chibwenzi chake chimadzidziwa , momwe mungalowe bwinobwino.