Zina mwa zifukwa zoperekera chiwembu ndizo: nsanje, kukhudzidwa, kudzidalira. Amaletsa kusakhulupirika: chikondi, ulemu, maphunziro apamwamba pamapeto pake.
Muzolembedwa zonse za amuna ndi akazi, nthawi zambiri zimatha kuthetsa malingaliro ogwirizana kuti amuna ali otheka kukhala opandukira kuposa akazi mu chikhalidwe chawo. Mutha kumvetsetsanso kuti kupusa kotereku kulimbikitsa anthu ogonana kwambiri kuti atonthoze ndikudzilungamitsa okha. Sizowoneka kuti amayi omwe amakonda akazi amalemba zopanda pake. Monga ngati pali chinachake mu chikhalidwe cha mkazi yemwe angamupangitse kukonda mwamuna wamwamuna mmodzi kuposa momwe mwamuna uyu angafunire mkazi mmodzi. Chikhalidwe cha kugonana kwa amuna ndi akazi ndi chimodzimodzi pambali iyi. Chidziwitso cha chiyanjano chosatha chimayambitsa kufunikira kofunikira kwathunthu kwachibadwa ndi kumveka bwino. Kuwopsa kwa zomwe zimachitika kumakhala kosavuta, chifukwa ovomerezeka ndi mitsempha amatsatira mogwirizana ndi mfundo imodzi, mwa amuna ndi akazi. Ndipo munthu adzachita chiyani, zomwe kugonana kwake kwa mnzanu wokhazikika zimathetsedwa, koma nthawi imodzimodzi simukufuna kugawana ndi mnzanuyo? Ndipotu, Tutu njira yodzikakamizira ndiyo kuchitira umboni. Kotero kuti muyankhule, kuti musataye mphuno.
Ndipo n'chifukwa chiyani amuna samakhululukira chigololo cha akazi?
Malinga ndi kafukufuku wambiri, pomwepo anapempha abambo ndi amai kuti afotokoze zifukwa zomwe zinawathandiza kusintha. Amuna nthawi zambiri amadzazidwa ndi tsamba la mkuyu la zosowa za kugonana. Kawirikawiri, chosowa choterechi, chosagwirizana kwambiri (ndi zokhudzidwa kapena kufunikira kwa kuyankhulana kwauzimu), zimakhutitsidwa ndi anthu osadziwika, omwe sagwirizana nawo (1/3 mwazinthu zonse zosakhulupirika), kapena mwachidule, osagwirizana ndi osagwirizana nawo ndi nthawi yayitali mabwenzi, anzako, akazi a abwenzi, ndi zina zotero (1/4 kusintha).
Amuna amachitiranso chiwembu chifukwa cha kusakhala kwao kwa nthawi yayitali kapena yochepa: kuchoka pa bizinesi, pa tchuthi, ndi zina zotero. Kutuluka kwa mkazi kapena bwenzi losatha kumaonedwa ndi amuna ena omwe amafunsidwa kuti ndizokwanira kuti asamalowe m'malo mwake. Ndipo iwo amati akazi ali ndi malingaliro achilendo. Ndipo kunena za kuti kupandukira kaŵirikaŵiri kumachitika mukumwa moledzera mowa nthawi zambiri. Komabe, mkhalidwe umenewu umatchulidwa molondola.
Kukonda mkazi wina chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika kumatchedwa mmodzi mwa amuna khumi omwe anafunsidwa. Choncho zimakhala kuti amuna amakonda nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi cholinga chopereka chinyengo.
Kwa amayi, vutoli ndi losiyana kwambiri. Kusakhulupirika kwachikazi kawirikawiri kumachokera pa kutuluka, ngati osati chikondi chatsopano, ndiye, chikondi chilichonse. Ndipo vuto la chirichonse ndi chiyambi cha magawo awiri pa atatu a chigololo chonse chachikazi ndi kusakhutira kosatha m'banja. Pano pali yankho la funso lakuti: "Chifukwa chiyani amuna sangakhululukire chigololo chachikazi?" Inde chifukwa chigamulo cha amai chimakhala ndi maziko olimba kwambiri, ndiye mkaziyo adapeza munthu wina yemwe angakhale wabwino kwambiri. Ndipo izi sizosatheka kuti munthu adzinyada. Chifukwa chake, anthu musakhululukire. N'kosavuta kumagawana ndi mkazi wokondedwa kusiyana ndi kumangokhalira kudandaula za chiwembu. Ndipo ngati munthu ali ndi malingaliro amoyo ndipo iye nthawizonse amamupatsa mkazi wake mmanja mwa wina, ndiye apa_ngati chipolopolo pamphumi. Chokani pamaso panga, cholakwika, kapena choipa!