Amayi ena amakhulupirira kuti ubwenzi wabwino ngati umenewu sungatheke, ena amatsutsa izi. Tiyeni tione kuti ndi ndani mwa iwo amene ali pafupi ndi choonadi.
Yankho la funso lakuti "Kodi ubwenzi ungatheke pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi?" Ankachita chidwi ndi onse, nthawi zonse. N'zosadabwitsa kuti mafilimu ambiri amaperekedwa kwa iye. Mwachitsanzo, Otto Bismarck adanena kuti ubwenzi wabwino pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ukufooka ndi kuyamba kwa usiku. Ndili ndi mnzanga, mwa njira, wamtali, wamphwa, wokongola, yemwe walota ndi amayi khumi ndi awiri. Timakhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi iye: timakambirana za zinthu zonse zapadziko lapansi, timasinthasintha mafilimu, timapita ku ayezi komanso ku cinema, ngati kuli kofunikira, timathandizana wina ndi mzake m'nkhani zina zapakhomo. Ndikuganiza kuti ubwenzi pakati pathu ndi wotheka kokha chifukwa si mtundu wanga. Ndipo mwinamwake sindiri wake, chifukwa sanachitepo kanthu "kuti adziwane bwino" (ndipo ndikuyembekeza kuti sadzatero).
Mnzanu wapamtima sangasinthe
Anthu ambiri amanena kuti palibe ubwenzi wabwino pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Koma pakuyang'ana koyamba zingamveke kuti maubwenzi oterewa ndi mabungwe ogwirizana. Choyamba, palibe mpikisano pakati pa abwenzi amenewa, monga chifukwa, kaduka. Bwenzi lanu silidzadandaula kuti mudataya makilogalamu 5, kupita ku tchuthi ku Bali, kapena kugula nsapato kuchokera ku Christian Louboutin peresenti ya 95%. M'malo mwake, iye adzakondwera ndipo adzamuyamika ngati inu, ndithudi, mukupitiriza kuyang'ana pa izo.
Chachiwiri, monga wothandizira wanga akunena: "Mnzanga ndi chinthu chosasamalidwa m'nyumba." Chabwino, bwenzi la mtundu wanji lomwe likukana kusintha bwenzi labwino la malowa kapena kuwona chifukwa chake kuwala ku khitchini sikutentha? Ndipo ngati kuli kotheka, ndi kubweretsa kukwera kumene mukufunikira, ndipo njondayo idzawonetsera. Chachitatu, bwenzi limeneli ndi lofunikira osati mu chuma. Angapereke malangizo othandiza kwambiri. Ndipo izi sizigwiritsidwanso ntchito pazinthu za "amuna" monga teknoloji kapena ndalama. Palibe amene angamasulire khalidwe la mwamuna ngati mwamuna wina, choncho bwenzi lanu lidzatha kukufotokozerani chifukwa chake wokondedwa wanu ndi "wopusa," ndipo akufotokozerani momwe mungapangire bwino ndi iye. Inde, komanso pofuna kusamalira zovala, mnzanu akhoza kupereka malangizo othandiza.
Zosiyana njira
Tsoka, ine ndiyenera kukonzera uchi uwu ndi ntchentche ya phula. Mfundo ndi yakuti njira yothetsera ubale pakati pa abambo ndi amai ndi yosiyana. Nzosadabwitsa iwo amati: "Mwamuna ndi wochezeka mu chiyembekezo cha kupitiriza, ndipo mkazi - podziwa kuti sipadzakhalanso kupitiriza." Amuna ambiri, m'mawu awo omwe, poyamba amamuwona mkazi chinthu chogonana, ndipo kenako ndiye malingaliro, kuseketsa, kukonda mpira kapena masewera a masewera. Ndipo palibe kanthu koti chichitidwe, chirengedwe chimatengera zovuta zake. Kwa ife, akazi, pano, inunso, chirichonse sichiri chophweka. Ngati mzanga wamwamuna satimasaka, ngakhale pang'ono, tidzakhumudwitsidwa: Kodi ndine wosasangalatsa? Ndipo ngati izo zitero, ndiye, ngati inu simunakumane naye aliyense, posachedwa ubale udzakhala wopitirira malire a mabwenzi. Pali zosiyana zingapo za chitukuko cha zochitika.
Inu nonse mumadandaula, ndipo mu chiyanjano muli zovuta, mumalankhulana mochepa, mpaka ubwenzi wanu umakhala wopanda pake.
Mmodzi wa inu ayamba kufunafuna zambiri, wachiwiri amakonza zachiwerewere chotero mwaubwenzi. Nsanje imayamba, kulamulira, kufotokozera maubwenzi, kukangana. Kawirikawiri, ndipo ubwenzi umathera, ndipo ubale sunayambe.
Inu mumamvetsa kuti inu mwangopangidwira wina ndi mzake. Muli ndi zofunikanso ndi zofunikira, mwinamwake abwenzi ambiri, mumadziwana bwino, ndipo chofunika kwambiri - muli bwino pamodzi. Kodi si maziko a chibwenzi cholimba?
Malamulo a chitetezo
Koma tiyeni tibwerere ku zosiyana kwambiri: ndinu abwenzi, ndipo mukufuna kuti zonsezi ndizitsalira. Inde, simukutsutsana ndi madandaulo angapo kapena mphatso zing'onozing'ono, chinthu chachikulu ndi chakuti iwo sakukupatsani inu chilichonse. Kodi n'zotheka kuwerengera izi? Akatswiri a zamaganizo amayankha motsimikiza. Koma ndi khola limodzi: pakati panu sipangakhale zogonana. Mwachitsanzo, ngati nonse muli osasangalatsa komanso osangalala ndi okondedwa anu; ndinu okwatirana m'mbuyomu, khululukirana ndipo mukufuna kulankhulana mtsogolomu; ndinu abwenzi kuyambira ubwana ndipo mwakhaladi mbale ndi mlongo. Zoonadi, palinso ubale wabwino ndi munthu wosagwirizana ndi kugonana, koma kwa ife ndizosasangalatsa, ndipo tikuyenera kukhala ndi mutu wosiyana.
Komabe, mulimonsemo, kukhalabe paubwenzi ndi abambo, ndikofunikira kuti muzitsatira malamulo ophweka "otetezeka".
Anatsimikiza mumtima mwao za mwamuna uyu. Ndipo ngati ichi ndi chiyanjano ndipo palibe koma ubale, mwanjira ina, mulole mnzanuyo amvetse izi. Musamve chisoni ndi zomwe zingachitike pakati panu, koma sizinachitike kapena zinachitika, koma osati monga momwe mumafunira. Musamuchitire nsanje mnzanuyo.
Kotero kuti palibe kusamvana ndi mikhalidwe yosavuta, yambitsani mnzanu kwa wosankhidwa wanu ndipo nthawi ndi nthawi muzitchule izo pokambirana kwanu. Koma mwa njira yabwino, mulimonsemo, musadandaule za wokondedwa wanu. Mawu oterewa sangamvetsetse bwino: amati, mukuyang'ana "chitonthozo".
Ndipo potsiriza ine ndikufuna kuti ndinene izi: sikofunikira kwambiri kumene inu mumakumana nawo, chifukwa chiyanjano chanu chinali chaubwenzi kapena chomwe chikugwirizanitsani inu. Ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti ubwenzi ndi mwamuna si wosiyana kwambiri ndi ubwenzi ndi mkazi. Ubale umenewu uyeneranso kukhazikitsidwa mwa njira yomweyi, kudyetsedwa ndi kulankhulana nthawi zonse, zofunikila, ziyenera kuikidwa, osati kungotengedwa, komanso kupatsidwa. Koma pali kusiyana. Mu ubale ndi munthu, chinthu chofunikira ndikumva mwachidwi mzere, womwe ngati mukufuna kusunga mnzako, musadutse.
Izi zimachitika kuti asungwana amayamba kukhala paubwenzi ndi amuna ndikuyembekeza zambiri. Monga, ine ndimaphunzira zambiri za iye, iye adzandidziwa ine bwino ndi kumvetsa kuti ndi bwino kuti ndisamupeze iye. Zoonadi, mapeto oterewa amachitika. Koma mochuluka kwambiri mu melodramas kuposa m'moyo weniweni. Apa chirichonse chingathe kutha pang'ono pokha: pokhala masiku angapo dona wa mtima wake, iwe udzabwerera ku udindo wa bwenzi wabwino kachiwiri. Choncho ngati muli ndi malingaliro okondana ndi mnzanu, muuzeni za mkaziyo musanayambe kuyang'ana bokosi ndikukuitanani mowa.