Tsogolo limakhala ndi masewera achiwawa ndi ife, kutikakamiza kusankha pakati pa chikondi ndi ntchito, pakati pa zilakolako za moyo ndi chifukwa chabwino, pakati pa mwamuna wosakondedwa ndi munthu wokondedwa. Azimayi omwe akukumana ndi vuto lalikulu la moyo, mtima wang'ambika pakati. Gawo limodzi likufuna kukhalabe ndi chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wake, omwe amamanga nawo udindo wawo, ana, katundu, chikumbutso cha chikondi cha m'mbuyomu ndi kugonjetsa mgwirizano ndi chimwemwe. Ndipo wina - amanjenjemera ndi chikondi chatsopano kwa munthu wina yemwe amadzaza moyo ndi matanthauzo ndi kuyembekezera tsogolo losangalatsa. Mutu ukuzungunuka! Ndi ndani amene angavomereze? Mtima wachikondi kapena maganizo amalingaliro? Zomwe mungasankhe ndi zomwe mungachite kuti zotsatira za chisankho zisakhale zopweteka kwambiri?
1. Dziwani zosowa
Kumvetsetsa zomwe zidzakuthandizidwe kumathandizira kulembedwa kwa zolembera, zomwe zimayendetsedwa muukwati komanso mu ubale ndi munthu wokondedwa.
Mndandanda wa "Kodi ndimatani kuti ndikhale m'banja?"
Mwachitsanzo:
- kukhazikika kwachuma (nyumba, ndalama, etc.);
- Chisokonezo cha maganizo kwa mwana yemwe angakule m'banja lonse;
- kuzindikira kuti "mayi wa banja";
- kusatsimikizika kwa khalidwe la mamembala onse a m'banja;
- kuthandizidwa ndi achibale kapena anzanu apamwamba;
- kugonana ndi mwamuna wake, ndi zina zotero.
Mndandanda wa "Kodi ndimapeza chiyanjano ndi mwamuna wanga wokondedwa?"
Mwachitsanzo:
- chikondi, chomwe chimasonyezedwa pokhudza kukhudzika ndi chikondi;
- kudzimva kukhala wofunikira ndi yekha;
- chisamaliro ndi chisamaliro;
- thandizo, chithandizo, kutenga nawo mbali;
- zosangalatsa;
- maluwa ndi mphatso;
- kugonana kosangalatsa, ndi zina zotero.
Mwapadera, mukhoza kulemba mndandanda wa makhalidwe abwino a mwamuna ndi wokonda. Kulemba pa pepala zonse "zothandiza" pazochita zawozo zidzakuthandizani kupeza chithunzi chowonekera cha zomwe zidzatayika mwa kupanga chisankho chogawana ndi mnzanu kapena wokondedwa wanu.
2. Pezani zolinga zenizeni
Panthawi imeneyi, m'pofunika kudziwa ngati chilakolako chowononga moyo wakale chimatsogoleredwa ndi chikondi chenicheni, osati ndi chilakolako chobwezera zomwe mabwenzi achikulire sapereka. Pano iwe uyenera kukhala womasuka kwambiri ndi woona mtima ndiwekha, kukonza mikangano ya mkati yomwe imakulepheretsani kuona choonadi. Ndipo zoona zake n'zakuti palibe amuna abwino kapena oipa, okonda komanso osangalala opanda banja. Mu mgwirizano uliwonse watsopano timadzipangira kukhala osadziletsa, osagwirizana, odzimvera, odzipereka, odzipereka, ndi zina zotero. Tikuyesera kumanga zatsopano m'mabwinja osakhazikika kuchokera ku mantha athu, zovuta, zomwe takumana nazo. Timaiwala kuganizira za "psychology" ya chikondi, yomwe "imakhala zaka zitatu", kenako imakhala ubale kapena chizoloŵezi, zomwe mumangofuna kuthawira ku chiyanjano chatsopano.
3. Dziwani mtundu wa katatu wachikondi
Wachitatu mu chiyanjano cha awiri akuwonekera pamene zosowa zina sizikhutitsidwa (chithandizo, chitetezo, chifundo, kugonana, ndalama, etc.). Ndipo ziribe kanthu momwe zikumveketseratu kuti zidawoneka bwanji, "gawo lachitatu" limathandizira kupulumutsa banja lomwe linagwera muvuto la maubwenzi. Zimachitika mu moyo wa banja chifukwa cha izo ndi zovuta, zomwe zingapangitse mndandanda wa malingaliro, kuganizizaninso mgwirizano ndi kuika patsogolo. Ndipo "chowonjezera chachitatu" chikufunika kuti muzindikire zoperewerazo ndikuyesera kudzaza ubale ndi mwamuna ndi kusowa malingaliro ndi maganizo. Mwinanso pa izi muyenera kupita kukaonana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo. Koma nthawi zambiri ndizofunikira kupatsa banja mwayi wokhala "wobadwanso kuchokera pamphuno."
4. Tulutsani "madzi atsopano" chikondi chatsopano
Chilakolako chomwe chimayambitsa malingaliro komanso ngakhale chilengedwe cha kusungirako nthawi zambiri chimapangitsa chikondi kukhala chopusa, khungu ndi wogontha. Kukhudzika mtima kumalepheretsa kuyesa mosamalitsa munthuyo komanso mkhalidwewo. Ndipo kuloŵetsa malingaliro a "magalasi obiriwira" kumawonjezera ulemu wa munthu wokondedwa, ndipo zodabwitsa kumachepetsa makhalidwe ake oipa mpaka kutayika. Kuwonjezera pamenepo, aura ya chimwemwe chenicheni imapangidwa ndi momwemo "chikondi" chobedwa - misonkhano yosavomerezeka ndi yosavomerezeka, kukondweretsa komanso kusowa malingaliro, komanso kusowa kudzipereka, moyo wamba ndi mavuto omwe amapezeka mu banja latsopano. Choncho, musafulumire kuganiza za chikondi chenicheni ndi munthu watsopano, ngati ubalewo sunayambe wakhalapo muchisoni ndi chimwemwe.
5. Fufuzani mmene akumvera amuna onsewa
Chikondi chenicheni, mungathe kungoyang'ana mwa kuwonetsa chisamaliro chanu, chimene amuna adzatanthawuza mfundo pachibwenzicho. Munthu wachikondi amavomereza chisankho chilichonse cha mkazi, chifukwa chikondi chenicheni sichidziŵa kudzikonda. Adzatha kupeza mphamvu kuti amuthandize mkaziyo kuti apite kumene adzakhaledi wokondwa komanso atha kupulumuka zowawa zomwe sizili naye. Ndipo sangasunthidwe mlandu ndi udindo yekha pamapewa ake. Pa kugwa kwa chikondi nthawi zonse ndilo chifukwa cha onse awiri. Mwamuna amene amayamikira banja lake adzanena kuti ali wokonzeka kusintha ndi kudzaza chiyanjano ndi tanthauzo latsopano, malingaliro ndi maganizo. Adzachita zonse kuti amuthandize mkaziyo, ndipo ngati izo zitero, zimangoyerekezera ndi kumvetsa kuti munthu wabwino salipo. Munthu wokondedwa, ngati ali wokonzeka kukhazikitsa banja, amatsimikizira mwazidzidzi kuti chiopsezo cha mkazi ndi choyenera ndipo sadzadandaula ndi chisankho chomwe wapanga. Mmodzi mwa amuna omwe adzawombedwa, kubwezera chifukwa cha kudzidalira, kudzichepetsa ndi kuvulaza, kugwiritsa ntchito njira zonyansa, sali woyenera kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi iliyonse, osadandaula, ngakhale chikondi.