Ndi ndani amene angagone mwana?

Kunena zoona, vuto la "amene ali ndi mwana" posachedwa liri ndi nkhawa kwambiri kwa ana, chifukwa tsopano ndizovuta kuti agone ndi ana. Mawu akuti "pathologically" amagwiritsidwa ntchito pazifukwazi chifukwa nthawizina amayi samvetsa chifukwa chake amachitira zimenezi, kutsindika mfundo zoterezo kuti n'zovuta kwa dokotala kuti amvetse.
Chinthu chapadera kwambiri ndi chakuti palibe okhulupirira ena omwe amati ndi makolo omwe ali ndi makolo ndi ana omwe amafunika kuti azikhala ndi ana awo, papa akuvomereza kuti ayenera kukhala ndi malo osiyana ndi mwanayo, papa ali ndi ufulu wokhala pabedi limodzi ndi amayi ake, ndi zina zotero. Koma, ngakhale zilipo, pali mabuku ambiri, olemba omwe amatsimikizira kuti kugonana kwa makolo ndi ana ndizofunika kwambiri.

Mwachitsanzo, akazembe a James McKenna, mwana wamwamuna wotchuka wa zamulungu, mwanayo, malinga ndi thupi lake, ndi bwino kuti agone ndi amayi ake. Koma kodi sizomveka kuwerengera kuti Papa, mumapangidwe ake, akuyandikira amayi koposa? Sitingaganize kuti mwana amasangalala ndi chisangalalo cha makolo ake, sitingathe kukondweretsa ubwino wa atate ake kapena kumverera kwa kulekanitsa makolo wina ndi mnzake. Taganizirani za munthu ngati wopanga yemwe anachita ntchito yake ndipo adagona pa mphasa pambali, molakwika.

Choncho, uphungu kwa amayi onse omwe asankha kugwirizana ndi mwanayo ndi kumvetsera maganizo a papa, chisangalalo chimatsimikiziridwa ndi kuvomerezana kwa makolo onse awiri, osati mwana yekhayo.
Amayi ambiri omwe ana awo amawayamwitsa, amanena kuti kugona nawo kumakhala kosavuta chifukwa chakudya usiku. Pa nthawi yomweyi, amayi, omwe ana awo akudyetsa komanso kugona pabedi, funso limayamba: Kodi mwana wawo ali ndi chiyanjano chokwanira ndi amayi ake? Oimira ntchito yapamwamba "Breastfeeding Consultant" akuyesa kumuuza mkazi kuti ayenera kudyetsa mwanayo, koma mochititsa chidwi, izi zimapangitsa kuti amayi anga azisangalala, ndipo kuikapo kwa amayi pazinthu zoyenera ndi "choyenera." Tikuyesera njira iliyonse yomwe tingagwirizane nayo kuti ngati mkazi sagona usiku, amatha kutopa, amadyetsa mwana nthawi yoyamba ndi kumangokhalira kugona naye, komanso kuti mayiyo agone. Koma ngati mwanayo akugona mu chikwama chake, mayi-amadyetsa nthawi yake (kapena, Mulungu asalole, mwanayo asatenge bere) ndipo ali ndi nthawi yopumula, ndiye mayi woteroyo ndi wotsika, ndipo chifukwa chake, zovuta zosiyanasiyana zimayamba kuchitika ponena kuti mwanayo sali kukhudzana kokwanira.

Madokotala amalimbikitsa kwambiri kuti azindikire kusiyanitsa pakati pa zinyama ndi anthu. Mauthenga a anthu ndi anzeru ndi kuyankhulana. Kupatsa mwana kutentha ndi kutonthozedwa sikungowonjezera nthawi zonse kuchifuwa, komanso kumalankhula naye, kumudyetsa mu botolo. Sitikudziwa ngati zili bwino kapena zoipa. Kulankhula za izo, kuti mayi yemwe sangathe kudyetsa mwanayo ndi bere pamtundu uliwonse, samakhala galu kwa iye. Ndipo chifukwa cha kusamalidwa kwa chisamaliro cha amayi, chikondi ndi chikondi, ali ndi njira zosiyanasiyana. N'zoona kuti pali mabanja omwe samakhala ovuta kugona pamodzi ndi ana awo, ana amatha kubwera usiku pabedi la kholo, ndipo makolo amawatenga ndi kunyada. Chimodzi mwa zitsanzo za mabanja otero ndi banja la William Martha Sears. Ali ndi ana asanu ndi atatu, William ali mwana ndipo Martha ndi wothandizira kuyamwitsa. Onse pamodzi analemba zolemba zambiri za momwe angaphunzitsire ndi kukweza ana okondwa komanso nthawi yomweyo kukhalabe achimwemwe. Zonsezi ndi zabwino, ngati ziwalo zilizonse m'banja zimakhala zokondwa. Koma chitsanzo cha banja cha Sears chimangopangidwa ndi ana okha. Uwu ndi banja lomwe limakhalapo chifukwa cha ana, momwe amai amafunika kuti azidziwika okha ndi mawu oti "mayi." Kodi Marta Sears alibe ana asanu ndi atatu? Izo zimangophunzitsa zonse momwe zingadzizindikire zokha mu dziko lino, kukhala mayi okha. Ndipo amayi ambiri amasiku ano amawonekeratu kuti amatha kukhala ndi chikhalidwe chotani pakati pawo. Mabwana amalemba mabuku omwe amawadziwitsa padziko lonse lapansi, momwe angakonzererere kokha kulera ana, koma kwa anthu ena omwe ali ndi mwana mmodzi kapena awiri, malangizowa ndi opanda pake. Ngati mwasankha kupatulira moyo wanu kwa ana - izi ndizolondola komanso zokondweretsa, koma osachepera thanzi la a zachuma, loya, dokotala, mphunzitsi kapena wina.

Munthu sangagwirizane ndi maganizo a psychoanalysts ogwira ntchito ndi ana a misinkhu yonse kuti kukhala kosangalatsa kwa mwana pabedi limodzi ndi amayi sikukhala ndi zotsatira. Pali mavuto angapo a maganizo omwe amachokera mwachindunji pakati pa ana ndi ana. Mavuto omwe mwamuna wachikulire amachita nawo kugonana ndi mkazi mmodzi, ndipo akwatiwa ndi mnzako, ayambeni molondola ndi kuti pakapita nthawi amayi ake adatumiza bambo ake kugona m'chipinda china. Nkhaniyi ndi yofunikira kwambiri pa zochitika zomwe mwanayoyo adzapitirire. Mabanja amenewo omwe ana awiri amatha kugwirizanitsa zifaniziro ziwiri - akazi a abambo a imam pawokha - amakhala osangalala kwambiri. Kukula, iye (ngati tikamba za mnyamata) tidzatha kupeza mkazi wa sebet, yemwe adzamugonana naye (ndipo adzasangalala naye) ndipo adzakhala mayi wa ana ake.

Zidakali zowonjezera kuti kukula kwakukulu kwa azimayi ndi a psychologists omwe amalimbikitsa mafashoni kwa ammunayo ndi mwana ndi chikhulupiriro chaposachedwapa. Madokotala anapanga malingaliro awo, ife tiri ndi chinthu chimodzi chokha: kuganiza ndi kupanga chisankho choyenera.