Ngakhale kuti vutoli limakambidwa mobwerezabwereza ndi aphunzitsi, akatswiri a maganizo ndi akatswiri a zaumoyo, palibe njira imodzi yothetsera banja lililonse. Komabe, kuchokera m'milomo ya anthu omwe akukumana ndi kulera kwa mwana popanda bambo, nthawi zambiri mumamva zotsutsana kwambiri.
Kulimbikitsana ndi koyamba - "Ana amafunikira bambo, chifukwa popanda iye iwo adzakhala ochepa"
Mwachidziwikire, kulingalira kumakhalako, komabe, pakuganizira milandu yeniyeni pamene mwana amakhala ndi ake, koma kwenikweni bambo wosiyana, mukuwopsya chifukwa cha zotsatira za kutsatira mfundo imeneyi. Mabanja ena amafanana, m'malo mwake, nyumba ya anthu osakhala bwino, pomwe panthawi imodzimodziyo amachititsa kukana kusudzulana ndi kufunika kokhala limodzi chifukwa cha ana. Poganizira chithunzichi chodabwitsa, mumadabwa ngati mwana amafunikira bambo yemwe sakonda mayi ake kapena iye mwini. Kodi atate wa kholo ndi chiyani, makamaka osasamalira nkhawa ndi mavuto a mwanayo ndi amayi ake, ndikumunyoza kwambiri kapena ngakhale kukweza dzanja lake kwa malingaliro a mwanayo? Kuchokera kwa "bambo" wotere, anawo amayamba kuvutitsidwa, ndipo amayi, motsatira mfundo ya "baby niggard", amadzudzula kuti akhale ndi moyo wautali komanso wamdima ndi mwamuna wokonda. Ndiye n'chifukwa chiyani mayi wachikulire sayenera kupereka mwayi woti amupeze chimwemwe ndi kugawana nawo ndi mwana wake? Nthawi zina ndi bwino kusiya atate woipa, kuopseza chitetezo ndi kukula kwa ana.
Chimodzimodzinso ndi kukhudzidwa komweku ndizochitika pamene mkazi, atatopa kwambiri ndi kuthetsa kusudzulana, mwadzidzidzi amakwatira munthu woyamba kukomana, popanda kuganiza kuti abambo atsopano angakhale oipitsitsa kuposa mwamuna wake wakale. Musamafulumire, ngakhale kuganiza za ana, musankhe mwapadera mwamuna wanu nokha, chifukwa, pokonda inu ndi ana anu, iye adzakhala bambo wabwino kwa iwo.
Kulimbikitsana kwachiwiri - "Amayi amatha kubweza mwana wa bambo"
Zosatha, kudalirana chidani pakati pa amuna ndi akazi, zinachititsa kuti ziwonetsero zazimayi zikhalepo pakati pa anthu, ndipo zida zowoneka pamwambazi mwina zinapangidwa ndi amayi omwe amawagawana nawo. Komabe, chilakolako chofuna kusonyeza kudziimira ndikusiya mawu omaliza pazokhazikitsana za kulera ana, amachititsa amayi kukhala akaidi ku zolakwa zochepa.
Choyamba . Mwana, mosasamala kanthu za mwamuna kapena mkazi, amakula bwino, pamene makolo onse amalerera. Zolinga zomwe mnyamata alidi ndi nerd, ndipo mtsikana akhoza kuchita popanda, sangathe kutsutsa. Kotero, wamkulu yekha ndi mayi wa mtsikana m'tsogolomu adzakhala ndi mavuto polimbana ndi munda wamphamvu kwambiri. Amuna amatha kukhala osamvetsetseka komanso amamuopseza, zomwe zingachititse kuti asamayese zochitika zawo.
Chachiwiri: Ana kuchokera kubadwa ayenera kuona makolo okondana wina ndi mzake, osati mikangano yawo. Chimene mwana amachiwona ali mwana, kenako onpereneset m'banja lake. Ngati mkazi yemwe amaphunzitsa amuna okha kunyansidwa ndi kupsa mtima, izi mosakayikira zidzakhudza ubale wa mwana wamkulu kwa anthu omwe si amuna kapena akazi anzawo: mtsikanayo amangotsanzira chidani ichi kwa amuna, ndipo mnyamatayu amatha kufotokozera mawu a mayiyo kumoyo wake ndi kukhala ngati "Galu ndi abambo", kapena, mosiyana, adzafuna kuyendetsa mtunda pakati pawo ndi amayi.
Chachitatu . Ambiri mwa mavuto omwe amadza pamene akulerera mwana ndi amayi amodzi amadza pamwamba pomwe atatha zaka zambiri. Kukula popanda bambo, poyamba sadziona okha ngati mamembala a banja lathunthu. Zotsatira za ndondomeko yotere ya ana okalamba zingakhale zovuta kwambiri. Mnyamatayo, yemwe mosasamala anabereka mwanayo, adzasiya msungwanayo mosavuta, chifukwa amayi ali mwana adamupangitsa kuti bambo ake asaphunzire bwino. Mofananamo, msungwana yemwe ali ndi chidaliro chakuti angalowe m'malo mwa mwana wa bambo ake, amavomereza kuti aphunzire mosadzikonda.
Posachedwapa, amayi ambiri osakwatira omwe ali ndi zaka 30-35, akufunitsitsa kupeza mwamuna, amasankha kutenga mimba kuchokera kwa wopereka chithandizo osadziwika ndi kubereka mwana wopanda bambo. Pa sitepe iyi, amai nthawi zambiri amakankhidwa ndi mavuto awo osokonezeka maganizo, omwe akuyembekeza kuthetsa pa mwanayo.
Choyamba, anthu oterowo amafuna kuchotsa chitonzo chamanyazi cha iwo ozungulira: zaka zimapita, ndipo ana adzauka. Ataganizira zochitika zachinyengo, amakhulupirira kuti anthu ammudzi adzasiya kulemekeza ulemu, komabe sadzanyalanyaza zofuna za mwana wamtsogolo.
Chachiwiri, kusowa kwa munthu wokhazikika kapena wokhazikika pazaka zino kumasonyeza kuti akazi otere sakudziwa momwe angadziŵe ndi amuna, kapena, chofunika kwambiri, kwa nthawi yaitali kuti azikhala nawo. Kulephera kumvetsetsa zosiyana ndizo zimapangitsa kuti akazi athetsere anthu omwe angathe kukwatirana, ndipo chifukwa chake amakhulupirira kuti njira yopitilira mwanayo ali ndi mimba yokhayokha. Choncho, mmalo mobisa mwanayo ndi mavuto ake, ndi bwino kutembenukira kwa psychoanalyst ndikukwatirana mosangalala.
Chachitatu, ntchito yoperekedwayo nthawi zambiri imatsutsana ndi moyo wabwino wa mkazi, makamaka ngati khalidwe lalikulu la chikhalidwe chake ndi chilakolako cholamulira ndi kulamulira.Kakana kukana ndi malingaliro otsutsana ndi aumwini kungakhale othandiza mu bizinesi yamalonda, komabe, mu ubale weniweni munthu wosawerengeka adzakumane naye. Popeza palibe wina woti azilamulira nyumbayi, mkazi woteroyo amasankha kukhala ndi mwana kuti amuthandize kuti amuphunzitse molimba mtima komanso mogwirizana ndi zolinga zake, ndipo njira imodzi yofulumira komanso yabwino kwambiri, motsogoleredwa ndi chikhumbo chake chofuna kudziimira, ndiko kukayendera mabanki.
Zomwe choonadi chimapanga ndi zovuta kumvetsetsa, komabe malamulo ena onse akhoza kupatulabe.
Choyamba, ngati abambo angathe kuvulaza mwanayo mwakuthupi kapena mwakuthupi, ndiye kuti sizingakhale zopindulitsa chifukwa chosagwiritsabe ntchito.
Chachiwiri, kusankha kwa woyambayo woyamba kwa abambo ake si njira yabwino kwambiri kwa mwanayo.
Chachitatu, ndibwino kuyembekezera kuti banja likhale losangalala zaka 40 ndikubereka mwamuna kusiyana ndi kufulumira kuthetsa mavuto anu panthawi ya mwanayo.
Chachinayi, m'pofunika kuphunzira kumvetsetsa kugonana kolimba, kuti asatenge chisangalalo cha banja lonse, ngakhale iye mwini, kapena ana a mtsogolo.
Malangizo awa ndi abwino ndithu, koma ngati mwana wanu ali kale wopanda bambo, choyamba, musamangoganizira za iye. Yesetsani kuti mupitirize kukhala ndi malo otchuka pakati pa anthu, okondwa, osachepetsa manja anu, kudzipangira chimwemwe chanu. Kwa ana, chitsanzo chabwino chidzakhala makolo okondwa, kusiyana ndi kukwiya ndi dziko lonse lapansi, ndipo mukamapeza munthu yemwe angakhale bwino ndi inu, yemwe angakhale mnzanu wam'tsogolo, mwanayo amulandira mosavuta ngati bambo ndipo amalandira bwino m'banja lonse.