Kodi nthawi zonse munganene kuti ayi pamene mukufuna? Poopa kuvulaza maubwenzi, kuntchito kapena kunyumba, nthawi zambiri timavomereza ndi chinachake pamene sitingafune kutero. Momwe mungakhalire? Pitirizani kuyankha "inde" kapena, mosiyana, musanene inde, pamene ndikufuna kunena ayi ...
Psycholoji ya maubwenzi aumunthu ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri, chosowa chidziwitso chakuya ndi chosatha m'munda uno. Komabe, nthawi zambiri ndimazindikira kuti anthu ena amafika mosavuta komanso mwachibadwa ndi anthu popanda kukhala ndi chidziwitso chokwanira komanso chidziwitso ku psychology of relations. Wina akhoza kukana iwe mophweka kuti iwe sudzazindikira konse izo.
Komabe zosavuta kapena zovuta kuti tiwoneke ndi anthu, ndikuganiza kuti ndibwino kuti nthawi zonse tizisunga malamulo ofunika kwambiri a maubwenzi a anthu: "Osati inde, pamene mukufuna kunena ayi."
N'chifukwa chiyani zili choncho? Mutagwirizana ndi chinachake chosiyana ndi chilakolako chanu, mumapereka chifukwa china choti muyambe kuganiza, ndikuganiza kuti chirichonse chimakugwirirani, ndipo nthawi zina kuvomereza kosavuta kwa wina "chikhumbo" cha wina akhoza kukhala okwera mtengo mtsogolomu. Ndiye n'chifukwa chiyani muyenera kudziletsa ndi kuika chiopsezo, pamene izi zingapewe mosavuta? Chinthu chachikulu mu zonsezi ndikutanthauzira moyenera "ayi."
Zimakhala zosavuta kuti anthu apamtima anu azinena kuti "ayi" kuposa kuwauza antchito kapena abwenzi ndi anzanu. Kubvomerezana kachiwiri ndi chinachake chosafunikira kapena chosafunikira, "mumabe" nthawi yanu, ndipo mwinamwake, nthawi ya anthu oyandikana nawo ndi okondedwa kwa inu. Choncho, muyenera kuphunzira kunena "ayi".
Mavuto omwe akufuna yankho lakuti "inde" kapena "ayi" akhoza kukhala ambiri. Mwachitsanzo, sikuli kosavuta kukana kuitanidwa kwa tsiku lakubadwa kwa wogwira ntchito, pempho lothandizira kuntchito, ndi kovuta kukana kubwera kwa alendo osayembekezera, ndi zina zotero. Mulimonsemo, sikungatheke kukana mwachindunji, chifukwa n'zotheka kukhumudwitsa munthu kapena kuwononga chiyanjano. Ndikofunika kuti tipeze chifukwa chomveka, chowonadi ndikuyiwala, kuti tisakhale wonyenga pamaso pa ena.
Ine ndikuganiza, mu nthawi zina izo ziri zoyenera kunena choonadi chowona, kuposa kukhazikitsa chifukwa china. Ndinkakhala pakhomo ndi mwana wamng'ono, nthawi zambiri ndimayenera kukana kubwera kwa alendo omwe sankakhala ndi mtima wofuna kutichezera ndi mwana wanga wamkazi. Momwemo, ndinangonena zoona: "Pepani, ndikukondwera kukuwonani, koma ndi Lisa wanga wosasinthasintha, chifukwa cha kusowa kwa ulamuliro wa tsikulo, sindingathe kukupatsani (mosamala) mokwanira. Tidzala - kenako, chonde! "
Chinthu china ndikuti, amakana akuluakulu a boma kwa chaka chimodzi. Uzani bwana "ayi" - pewani mwayi wodalirika ndi mphotho (ngati kukana kwanu kumakhudza nkhani zogwira ntchito). N'chifukwa chiyani mukufunikira izi? Pali zochitika pamene aboma akukukakamizani kupita ku misonkhano yampingo ndi maholide, kukana kumene kumakulepheretsani "kukhululukidwa kuchokera pamwamba." Momwe mungakhalire mumkhalidwe umenewu? Mwinamwake, mumangopita kukaona "misonkhano" imeneyi, chifukwa nthawi iliyonse simungathe kupita kwinakwake kapena kukhala otanganidwa nthawi zonse. Pachifukwa ichi, ndikofunikira kutsatira lamulo la "golidi kutanthauza" - zanu ndi zathu.
Chiyanjano chinanso cha ubale wotere: "Nenani poyamba" inde ", ndiyeno" nenani ". Payekha, sindingakulimbikitseni zotsatira zofanana, pokhapokha ngati zotsatira za kukana sizinakakamize. Mutalandira chilolezo chanu, munthu amanga zolinga zake. Nchifukwa chiyani ayenera kuwononga ndi kutaya chidaliro cha bwenzi, antchito, bizinesi kapena chidziwitso?
Ganizirani
Mu moyo ndikofunika kuti timange ndi kukhazikitsa maubwenzi ogwirizana ndi anthu ena. Luso lokhazikitsa "kukhudzana" limatsimikiziranso kuti mukuyenda bwino muzinthu zonse: bizinesi ndi makampani, ochezeka, abwenzi, apamtima. Ndikofunika kuti musaiwale nokha, zofuna za anthu ena siziyenera kugonjetsa zanu ngati sizigwirizana. Chikhumbo chanu chiyenera kumbali yanu. Ndipo mukhoza kunena kuti "ayi" ngati simukufuna kunena "inde," ndipo zikhumbo zanu ndi zofuna zanu zidzafika poyamba, popanda kutsutsa zofuna ndi zokhumba za ena.