Koma kodi amayi akutsogoleredwa bwanji posankha mwamuna ndi kumvetsetsa ngati mwamuna ali woyenera mkazi?
Posankha osankhidwa awo, amai nthawi zonse amakhala osamala komanso osamala. Mayi aliyense amafuna kukhala ndi mwamuna yemwe angamukhulupirire nthawi zonse, yemwe angadalire, pafupi ndi yemwe adzamvere kuti ali wotetezedwa ndi wokondedwa. Azimayi amakonda amuna omvera, achikondi, osamala, ndipo sangathe kuimirira, kumangokhalira kukondana komanso kudzikonda. Chizindikiro chofunikira ndi momwe munthuyo alili molondola, momwe amachitira, zomwe akunena.
Poyamba, mkaziyo ndiye mayi komanso woyang'anira nyumba, choncho chifukwa cha kusamvetsetsa kwa mkazi, mwamunayo si wina koma kupitiriza kwa banja, chifukwa chake, kusankha kwa munthu kumachitika pamtundu wosadziwika. Izi zimakhudzidwa ndi zifukwa zambiri zokhudzana ndi moyo wa mkazi ndi zochitika zake zammbuyomu. Amayi nthawi zambiri amanena kuti amakonda amuna ena. Izi zikutanthauza kuti ndi amuna awa omwe amaona kuti ndi abwino kwambiri kupitiliza mtundu wake. Amayi ena amaganiza kuti amuna okongola kwambiri ndi omwe ali oyenerera kwambiri ntchitoyi, ena ndi anzeru kwambiri, ena ndi okondwa kwambiri, ndi zina zotero. Komabe, nthawi zina chisankho cha wokondedwa mnzako pokhapokha sichikuyenda bwino ndipo nthawi zambiri chimapuma chiyanjano, chifukwa chofunikira kwambiri ndizofunikira, zofuna, mgwirizano wa nthawi, ndi zina. Pambuyo posankha wosakwatirana ndi zofunikira za chilengedwe, mkazi "amatsegula maso ake", amapereka chikondi chotero ndipo amadziwa kuti mwamunayo anali monga iye anali "kujambula", ndipo kuti chikhumbo pa mlingo chikumbumtima si yekha muyezo chifukwa kusankha.
Atsikana ambiri amafunsa funso lomwelo: "Momwe mungadziwire ngati mwamuna ali woyenera mkazi"? Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti mayesero a m'maganizo pamutuwu akuchokera makamaka pazomwe anthu amakhulupirira, chifukwa chifukwa cha iwo amodzi amatha kumvetsa ngati mwamuna ali woyenera mkazi. Ngati tikulankhula za chikhalidwe cha anthu, zikutanthauza kuti ufulu wa anthu, umoyo wa anthu, cholinga cha moyo, maganizo, maganizo a banja. Pankhani ya maganizo, zimakhala zofanana pamaganizo, kumvetsetsa, kusamala, kumvetsetsana. Choncho, ndikofunika kwambiri mu maubwenzi kuti mwamuna amanyengerera mkazi pokhapokha kuti azisamalira bwino anthu.
Kumvetsetsa kuti mwamuna ali woyenera mkazi angakhalenso ndi khalidwe lake ndi malingaliro ake kwa iye. Kodi amalemekeza maganizo ake, amusamalire, ndi zina zotero. Ndikofunikira ngati mkazi akumva bwino pamaso pa munthu uyu, zomwe amalingalira za iye, monga akunenera. Ngati khalidwe lake kapena liwu lake likumveka mawu okhumudwitsa kapena osayamika, ndiye kuti mwamuna uyu sakuyeneranso. Wokondedwa mnzako ayenera kumuthandiza mkazi wokhayokha, wokondwa komanso wokondwa pamsonkhano ndi munthu uyu.
Nthawi zina atsikana, atakhala ndi mwamuna kapena atakhala naye pabanja, athamangiratu kuti ndi mwamuna amene ali woyenera kukhala mwamuna komanso atate wa ana ake. Pa nthawi yomweyi, nthawi zonse samamvetsera mavuto ndi zofooka mu ubale wawo, zikuwoneka ngati zoyamba zowonongeka. Malingana ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo, ndiko kusayeruzika kumeneku komwe kumabweretsa kutha kwaukwati. Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti khalidwe la munthu limapangidwa ali ndi zaka zitatu. Ndipo ngati mwamunayo amachitira nkhanza mkazi asanalowe m'banja, pambuyo pake izo zidzisonyezedwa mu mawonekedwe ophwanya kwambiri.
Ngati mumaganizira za ukwati, ganizirani zinthu zonse ndi zikhalidwe. Ndi munthu wamunthu amene analipo kale, kaya akukupatsani mphatso, akukusamalirani, kapena amakonda nthawi mumakampani akulira popanda kukhalapo kwanu, akusintha inu, mungakweze dzanja lanu, ndi zina. Kodi mungagwirizane ndi zosungiramo zake zonse ndikukhala ndi moyo wanu wonse. Mosakayikira, mu chiyanjano muyenera kumvetsera zomwe mtima wanu ukunena, koma "kutaya mutu" sikuli koyenera. Chikondi chimafulumira komanso chabwino ngati chimalowetsedwa ndi chikondi cholimba, osati kukhumudwa ndi mkwiyo.
Ngati mkazi amasankha mwamuna yemwe amamukwanira bwino, ndiye kuti chikondi chimakula ndikukula. Ndipotu, chikondi chimachokera kumalingaliro, kukondana, zofunikanso, kukhulupirirana, ulemu.