Tonse timamva ndikumvetsetsa kuti ubale ndi mwamuna wokwatira sungatitsogolere ku chirichonse. Fomu yotereyi sivomerezedwa ndi chipembedzo, makhalidwe, kapena akazi omwe adutsa kale. Koma, ngakhale zochenjeza zonse, ubale ndi mwamuna wokwatira ulipo ndipo uli wamba kwambiri. Azimayi ochuluka akuyesera maubwenzi oterewa, amakhala ozunzidwa ndi amuna, amatha kugonjera maganizo pa mwamuna wokwatirana ndikuphwanya miyoyo yawo. Nkhani yakuti "Momwe mungayanjane ndi mwamuna wokwatiwa: uphungu wa katswiri wa zamaganizo" zidzakuthandizani kuthetsa mgwirizano wosagwirizanitsawu, umene umakumikirani inu mwamuna-banja.
Nchifukwa chiyani iwo akupanga kusankha koteroko? Chifukwa chiyani maubwenzi amenewa alipo, ndi chiyani chomwe chikuphatikizapo ndipo chiwopsezo chawo chachikulu ndi chiyani? Ambiri a ife timamvetsa kufunika kwa nkhaniyi, koma sikuti amayi onse amatha kudziyesa okha. Momwe mungayanjane ndi mwamuna wokwatira? Pali malangizo angapo a maganizo omwe angakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa vutoli.
Choyamba, tiyeni tiwone zifukwa za izi. Nchifukwa chiyani amuna amachita izi? Choyamba, munthu akhoza kukhala wosasangalala muukwati, ali ndi mavuto akuluakulu ndi kusamvana ndi banja lake ndi mkazi wake, kuphatikizapo. Pankhaniyi, mwamuna amafuna chitonthozo kumbali, zowonjezereka zomwe zimakwaniritsa zosowa zake, zimamuthandiza kuthana ndi mavuto. Ndipo ngati maubwenzi ndi mkazi wake amangokhalira kumangokhala moyo komanso nthawi zonse, mbuyeyo nthawi zonse amakhala pangozi, tchuthi, chipatso choletsedwa, kukoma kwake komwe akufunadi kuyesera.
Koma sikuti nthawi zonse munthu akhoza kusoweka chinachake, kapena akhoza kukhala ndi mikangano yaikulu ndi machitidwe oipa ndi mkazi wake. Chifukwa cha chikhalidwe chawo, oimira kugonana amphamvu ndi mitala, kotero munthu akhoza kudzitengera yekha ambuye ndi malemba pambali pomwe amakonda mkazi wake, komanso m'banja lomwe alibe vuto. Amafunikira maubwenzi apabanja ndikumukhutiritsa, koma panthawi imodzimodziyo amakopeka ndi zosiyana zogonana.
Pazochitika ziwirizi, mwamuna amakhala ngati wogwiritsira ntchito, mwamuna amene amagwiritsa ntchito mbuye pofuna zolinga zake, kaya ndi chilakolako cha kugonana, kukhumba zosadziwika, kapena kukhutira ndi kutentha ndi chikondi chomwe akusowa chomwe ayenera kulowa m'banja. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe mkazi ayenera kukhalira ndi mwamuna wokwatiwa. Palibe amene akufuna kuti azizunzidwa, koma ambiri samadziwa kuti akugwiritsidwa ntchito pazinthu zawo.
Nchifukwa chiyani amai amagulidwa kuti akhale paubwenzi wotero? Sikuti nthawi zonse amalephera. Zotsatira zabwino za ubale umenewu zimangopereka ngati mkazi agwiritsira ntchito mwamuna, kuti apindule nawo. Palinso mulandu ngati mkazi sankakhala ndi mwayi ndi amuna, ndipo posakhalitsa adamuponyera, kuthetsa chibwenzi. Pankhaniyi, adadzipeza kuti anali mwamuna wokhazikika, yemwe sananene, koma payekha ndalama zake adatha kuwonjezera kudzidalira kwake, kuti adziwe kudziyamikira yekha. Koma panopa, muyenera kudziyika nokha ndi zofuna zanu choyamba, ndipo muzichita nawo ntchito ya wogwiritsira ntchito, yomwe sivomerezedwa. Ngakhale mutakhala ndi chikhulupiliro cha makhalidwe abwino, ndibwino kuti mupezefune pakati pa abwenzi kapena amuna aufulu omwe mungadzakhale nawo pachibwenzi.
Chifukwa china chomwe mkazi amapitira ku chiyanjano chotero ndi chakuti zimamuvuta kuti apeze mwamuna muukwati. Ndipo chifukwa cha maubwenzi ndi amuna okwatira, amakwaniritsa zosowa zake zoyankhulana ndi chikondi, amachepetsa kusungulumwa kwake.
Chachiwiri, amai akhoza kusankha maubwenzi osagwirizana, chifukwa pa chidziwitso amadziwa kuti sali okonzeka kukhala pachibwenzi, komanso sangathe kumanga banja lawo. Ena amaopa kutenga udindo kwa munthu wina, kuphatikizapo, khalidweli ndilolendo kwa amayi okha, komanso kwa anthu ambiri.
Palinso milandu pamene mkazi amakopeka ndi amuna okwatira, ndipo amawafuna mobwerezabwereza, amasiya chidwi. Kotero, tikuwona kuti muzochitika zoterozo amakopeka ndi ndondomeko yokha, osati zotsatira. Zimakopa masewerawo, cholinga chake "kukwaniritsa cholinga chake", ndipo pamene chimachitika, chimapeza cholinga chatsopano. Apa pali mfundo ya chipatso choletsedwa: tikukhumba zomwe sitingakwanitse, koma titalandira, timataya chidwi. Pakati pa maubwenzi olakwika amenewa akhoza kukhala chiyanjano chofanana ndi makolo, banja losagwirizana limene ubale wawo sunayambe.
Koma zimakhalanso kuti mutha kukondana ndi mwamuna wokwatira, mwaukali komanso mwamunthu mumamukhulupirira, khulupirirani kuti amusiya mkazi wake ... Zikatero ndiye kuti mwamsanga kapena pamapeto pake mudzamuika pamapeto pake: kaya ineyo kapena mkazi wanga. Ambiri (amilandu ambiri) amusankha mkazi wake, kuwonjezera apo, akhoza kukupusitsani kwa nthawi yaitali. Ngati akusankhabe, ganizirani, kodi mwakonzeka kuwononga mgwirizano wa wina? Kumbukirani mawu akale: Simungathe kumanga chimwemwe pa tsoka la wina. Inde, ndi chitsimikizo chakuti ngati munthu adayika mkazi wake wokondedwa, koma sakuchita ndi inu, ayi.
Kodi mungathe bwanji kugawana ndi mwamuna wokwatira, kusankha pa izi? Malangizo a katswiri wa zamaganizo adzanena chinthu chimodzi chokha: ndizo zonse zokhudzana ndi maganizo. Sizovuta kumanga dziko lanu mozungulira munthu mmodzi ... Pangani malo ndi mapaki ozungulira, mvula ndi nyenyezi, nyumba zokongola zomwe zimangobwera kwa munthu uyu basi. Pambuyo pake, dziko limene timamanga pozungulira wokondedwa ndilo lokongola ... Koma kuti mgwirizano umenewu sungapitirizebe, ndipo munthu wokondedwayo ndi wa wina, amachititsa kuti dziko lapansi likhale lopanda kanthu, ndipo m'nyumba zomwe zili pafupi ndizomwe zilipo zambiri.
Musalole kuti ndikugwiritseni ntchito, ndikugwiritseni ntchito pazinthu zamagulu. Kuti mutengere ndi mwamuna wokwatirana, muyenera kuchotsa kugonjera kwa maganizo ndikupeza mphamvu kuti muwuze ayi kwa manipulator, ndi maulendo anu. Kuchokera pa chisankho ichi chimadalira tsogolo lanu lamtsogolo. Iyi ndi sitepe yomwe muyenera kutuluka panjira yolondola, komabe ena amawoneka okoma. Pambuyo pake, chifukwa cha chisankho chabwino kwa inu, mwayi umatsegula kuti mupeze munthu amene mumamufuna, kuti mutsegule mwayi watsopano ndi banja lanu.