Pambuyo pake, si chikwapu chochuluka cha ufulu wakudzisankhira wa munthu, monga karoti, zomwe zimatsogolera ku zosankha zosavuta komanso zosangalatsa kwambiri pamoyo.
Mwachitsanzo, kondani katatu. Kuchokera pamalingaliro a makhalidwe, uwu ndi njira yosavomerezeka ya ubale pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Komabe, anthu ochepa amakumbukira za makhalidwe abwino, pamene chilakolako chimakwirira ndi mutu, ngakhale ambiri amadzadandaula. Triangle ya chikondi ndi imodzi mwa machitidwe osakhazikika kwambiri pakati pa amuna ndi akazi. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena kuti kukonda atatu sikukhala kwa nthawi yaitali ndipo kawirikawiri kumabweretsa chimwemwe ndi mwayi. Kawirikawiri, anthu atatu omwe ali ndi mitima yosweka, omwe adapeza nyanja yamaganizo ndi ma complexes, amatha nthawi yomweyo. Kwa amayi kapena abambo kufunafuna mgwirizano wa nthawi yayitali, kuyesera kuti agwirizane ndi nkhondo yomenyana naye wokhazikika kale ndizopanda pake. Izi siziri njira yopita ku chimwemwe, komabe ambiri amabwera kwa iye, akukhulupirira kuti akhoza kutsutsana ndi "rake" yomwe yatsimikiziridwa mobwerezabwereza ndi anthu ena.
Mfundo za makhalidwe abwino pakati pa amuna ndi akazi nthawi zambiri zimawombera kumbuyo, ngati zimakhudza munthu wamkulu. Amuna ndi akazi omwe afika pamtunda pa ntchitoyi, olemera, ogwira ntchito, ndi chuma cha olamulira kapena otchuka, kawirikawiri amakhala ozunzidwa ndi okonda moyo wosavuta komanso wokongola. Sizomwe akunena kuti njira yopita kumwambako imakumbutsa njira imodzi yopezera kusungulumwa: kukwera kwanu kukwera, zochepa zimakhalabe pafupi ndi anthu okhulupirika ndi odzipereka. Kotero si zophweka kuti olemera apeze wokondedwa woyenera kwa iwoeni, momwe izo zingawonekere. Pambuyo pake, nthawi zambiri amasonyeza chikondi ndi malingaliro osati chifukwa cha iwo okha, koma chifukwa cha ndalama ndi malumikizano omwe mwamuna kapena mnzake wa munthu wolemera angathe kupeza.
Masiku ano, ku Russia sikophweka kusunga malamulo amtundu uliwonse. Mu malingaliro a anthu tsopano zinthu zonse zatsatiridwa. Asungwana opanda chidwi ndi njira yopanda moyo amadzipezera okha oligarchs otchuka, pomwe amayi abwino komanso osangalatsa angathe kukhala okha kwa zaka zambiri. Anthu akuba ndi anthu achipongwe ndiwo amphona apamwamba a mbiri yakale komanso a chipani chachikulu cha malo okongola kwambiri. Anthu omwe amangochita bwino ntchito yawo amakhala mumthunzi. Muzovuta izi sizikhala zophweka kukhalabe nokha.
Nthaŵi zina amayesa kulavulira makhalidwe, kupondereza pansi kukhulupirika kwake kristalo ndi kuyambitsa zovuta zonse. Tsoka ilo, kawirikawiri iyi ndi njira yopezera chimwemwe. Kugwa pansi pa moyo wosagwirizana ndi chiwerewere ndi chiwerewere kumawononga maganizo athu ndi kachitidwe kake ka moyo. Ndipo mwakonzedwe tsopano ndikunyansidwa ndi kukana miyambo ya makhalidwe abwino nthawi zambiri ndi chizindikiro cha matenda a maganizo kapena neurosis, chitetezo choyipa pakakhala zovuta komanso kusowa kwa chiyanjano ndi wina aliyense. Ndikofunika kudzipulumutsa nokha pazomwe mukuchita kusankha kovuta. Ndipo makamaka izi ndizofunikira kwambiri pamene mukufuna kukwaniritsa mgwirizano pakati pa amuna ndi akazi.
Philosopher ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo William James anatsimikizira ndi kukhazikitsa chiphunzitso cha chikhalidwe cha makhalidwe abwino ndi makhalidwe abwino. Mwachidule, akuti "ndi kopindulitsa kukhala ndi makhalidwe abwino." Taganizirani zitsanzozi. Ponena za kusakhazikika kwa ubale wa chikondi ndi amuna okwatirana kapena otanganidwa tanena kale. Pali miyambo ina ya makhalidwe abwino, kuphwanya komwe kungabweretse mavuto. Mwachitsanzo, ndi mwambo kuti mwamuna apange kukwatirana, ndipo mkazi sangasonyezepo kanthu pankhaniyi. Komabe, ku Russia mazana ndi mazanamazana a mabanja amapangidwa pachaka pamayendedwe a mkazi. Kafukufuku wa akatswiri a maganizo am'banja amasonyeza kuti uwu ndiwo mtundu wosasunthika komanso wovuta kwambiri waukwati. Ngati munthu wochokera m'masiku oyambirira a moyo wa banja akumva kupanikizika kuti apange zosankha zake, posachedwa zidzasokoneza malingaliro, kufotokozera maubwenzi, kupandukira kapena kusudzulana.
Chitsanzo china chikukhudzana ndi kugwirizana kwa ndalama. Si chizolowezi kuti mwamuna azidalira mkazi wake pazinthu zachuma. Izi zimaonedwa ngati khalidwe lachiwerewere, makamaka ngati mwamunayo amalalikira mwadala, osati mchitidwe wonyansa. Ndipo mtundu waukwati uwu ndi gulu loopsya. Kusokonekera kwachuma, komwe mkaziyo ndi wolemera kuposa mkazi, ndi banja losasunthika komanso losangalala. Ndipo ngati kusagwirizana ndikokwakuti mkazi nthawi zonse amakhala wopambana komanso wopambana kuposa mwamuna wake, iyi ndiyo njira yothetsera mavuto ndi mikangano yaikulu. Chiwerengero cha kusudzulana pakati pa maanja omwe mwamuna alibe ndalama ndipamwamba kuposa momwe maanja ali ndi ndalama zofanana kapena ali ndi chuma chamtengo wapatali cha amuna.
Makhalidwe abwino a kusakhulupirika ndi zotsatira zake pa chiyanjano pakati pa amuna ndi akazi sizomwe zili zoyenera kuyankhula. Mtundu uwu wa vuto la maganizo m'maganizo amaonedwa kuti ndi "chinthu chosafunikira" chofunika kwambiri. "Mfundo yosadziletsa" ndizochitika kapena uthenga, pambuyo pake ubale weniweni umakhala wosatheka. Pambuyo pake, ubalewu umasweka, ndipo ngati apulumutsidwa, ndiye kuti ali osiyana kwambiri. Zimadziwika kuti uthenga wonena za kusakhulupirika kwa mwamuna wake sikuti ungangowononga banja, komanso umapangitsa mkazi kukhala wosagonana. Nthawi zina akazi omwe amasankha kusunga banja atatha kusakhulupirika, amatha kuthetsa chiwonongeko. Amabwerera kwa iwo pokhapokha ngati athetse banja ndi kusintha kwa mnzake. Koma kawirikawiri, pambuyo pake, kusakhulupilira sikungoswa njira yamoyo, koma kuwononga banja. Ndipo ngati buku ili liri pambali, wolakwira kapena wogulitsa amakhalabe ndi kumene angapite. Ndipo zimachitika kuti chilakolako chochepa chimawononga ubale weniweni, popanda zomwe moyo wa munthu sukukhala wabwino. Ndipo chilakolako chachisangalalo chaching'ono chimasanduka kuvutika kwanthawi yaitali.
Chinthu chachikulu chomwe chiyenera kudziwa za ubale wa amuna ndi akazi ndi mfundo za makhalidwe abwino ndikuti makhalidwe abwino si katundu wolemetsa ndi ukapolo wa ukapolo wa anthu ngati chizindikiro chokhazikika pamsewu wa moyo. Inde, mungathe kutsogolo pa mzere ndikupanga "kuyendetsa mzere wolimba." Koma posakhalitsa moyo weniweni udzadziwitsa kuti kuphwanya "zizindikiro za mapeto" ndi chinthu choopsa, chosafunikira ndi chopanda phindu.