Ogwira ntchito m'mabanja ndi okwatirana amakhulupirira nthawi zonse kuti pali mikhalidwe yolondola yomwe ingasokoneze banja limodzi. ndipo ngati zili choncho - musataye mtima. chifukwa ngati matendawa akudziwika kale, ndiye kuti "kuchira" ndi nkhani ya nthawi. padzakhala chilakolako chogonjetsa gulu loda lakuda mwazimene zimagwirizanitsa - ndizofunikira. chifukwa popanda izi, ngakhale, ngakhale zozizwitsa mankhwala sangathe kukuthandizani.
Lies-razluchnitsa
Chabwino, ndiyomwe mungayambe kukambirana za banja losokonezeka, ngati sichimachokera kwachinyengo cha mnzanuyo! Zomwe munganene ndi munthu wofooka, ndipo ngati mayesero akugwera payeso iliyonse, ndiye kuti ndi kovuta kukana, koma chomwe chiri chosangalatsa ndi chakuti ngakhale anthu okwatirana kumene amakhala akunyengerera kwambiri, ndikuwongolera manja ndi zitseko, koma asanakwatirane amapeza zambiri kawirikawiri kuposa mabanja omwe ali ndi chidziwitso.
Akatswiri a zamaganizo amafotokoza izi osati chifukwa chakuti achinyamata amtundu wamakono amamasula nthunzi zambiri, ndipo chifukwa cha zimenezi, amachepetsa mofulumira. Komanso ndi za mtundu wanji wa chiyanjano uli patsogolo pa zibwenzi m'banja. M'mabanja atsopano, udindo wapadera, monga lamulo, ndi wa kugonana, ndipo pambuyo pake, umachokera makamaka pamalingaliro, osati m'maganizo. Choncho, usiku wokondana, womwe sungathe kukhala wamkuntho kusiyana ndi kufotokoza kwa chibwenzi, nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa chiyanjanitso, makamaka ngati "kumanzere" kunkachitika mwangozi.
Koma okwatirana, omwe akhala pamodzi zaka zambiri, amagwirizanitsa kwambiri kukhulupilika kwa ubale wawo. Ndipo mu zoopsa zawo, zimapweteka kwambiri kuti mzake ndi wina "adagona" ngati kuperekedwa kwa wokondedwa. Ndipo chifaniziro cha wokwatirana yemwe amapereka chopatulika kwambiri - chidaliro chonse mwa iye, kuchotsa ku malingaliro ndi kovuta kwambiri. Pano simungathe kufika ndi masewera ogona, chifukwa mukuyenera kugwiranso ntchito m'maganizo mwanu.
Ngakhale kuti sikuyenera kuiwala, makamaka pokhudzana ndi vutoli. Mwachitsanzo, njira yabwino yoiwala zakale, ngati kugulitsidwa kunkachitika mu chisa cha banja, ndiko kusonkhanitsa pamabedi pamodzi ndi mapiritsi ndi mabulangete (okonda zowonjezereka akhoza kuwonjezera apa ndi bedi palokha), ndikutentha pafupi ndi zinyalala pabwalo, ndiyeno palimodzi mupite ku sitolo kukagula zonse zatsopano.
Koma ichi si chinthu chachikulu. Malingana ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo, ndikofunikira kwa wina amene akufuna kuti akhululukidwe kukhala woona mtima ndi woona mtima. Ndipo ali m'mawu, molimbika, ndipo mwinamwake kukambirana kwa nthawi yayitali, kuyesa kutsimikizira theka kuti izi sizidzachitikanso. Bungwe lovulala likhoza kulangiza chinthu chimodzi: mvetserani mwatcheru momwe mungathere kuti mumve ngakhale osayankhula. Pambuyo pake, ndinu theka la lonse!
Pa kutetezedwa kwa malire awo
Akakhala ndi moyo kwa nthawi yaitali, nthawi zambiri amayamba kutsutsana pogwiritsa ntchito momwe amachitira nthawi yawo. Malingana ndi akatswiri a maganizo, nkhani iyi ya okwatirana m'banja lamakono imapatsidwa udindo wapamwamba. Nkhaniyi imayambitsa kukangana kwambiri m'banja kusiyana ndi mavuto ogonana kapena mavuto azachuma.
Pokhala wachinyamata, nthawi yogwiritsira ntchito pamodzi imayesedwa kuti ndiyo njira yabwino kwambiri yotsitsimutsira, ndipo palibe zosangalatsa zomwe zili pano. Mwachitsanzo, oyamba okwatirana ku zorke akuthamangira ku dziwe lapafupi kuti akapeze nsomba, ndiyeno madzulo, pitani ku disco kapena cafe. Ndili ndi zaka (zomwe ziri zachibadwa), changu chimachepa, ndipo tsopano mwamuna ndi mkazi wake akufuna kuchita chinachake ndi ake. Koma pano pakhoza kukhala zovuta pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi angaoneke ngati akuchoka pambali ya mavuto a m'banja lonse.
Nthaŵi zambiri, kunyozedwa kumaperekedwa kwa wokwatirana. Izi ndizomveka: Pambuyo pake, kawirikawiri mkazi wake amatanganidwa ndi ntchito zapakhomo kusiyana ndi mwamuna wake, ndipo nthawi zina amapeza zolaula m'dera lino. Koma iye akuwonabe kuti ndi mgwirizanowu. Choncho, kusiya okhulupilika kwa theka la tsiku m'galimoto kapena mpira amaoneka ngati manyazi kuchoka panyumba. Ndipo milu, milu ya mkwiyo.
Mkhalidwe uno, tiyenera kuyesa kumvetsetsa okhulupirika athu. Chabwino, mungachite chiyani - palibe amuna omwe adalengedwa kuti adzipangire okha m'makoma anayi ngakhale chinyumba chokoma kwambiri! Iwo akufuna kumverera ngati mbalame zotentha kwambiri pazinthu zazikulu-ndipo ndizo. Choncho ndizomveka kupatsa mwamuna mwayi umenewu, makamaka ngati sakupeza ntchito. Muloleni iye azidzizindikira yekha monga wounda nkhunda, kuposa momwe iye akudzikumba yekha ndi kukula mwa iye yekha wotayika.
Vuto la zaka za pakati
Izi zikutanthauza zaka za okwatirana okha, osati moyo wawo wokhudzana nawo. Malingana ndi momwe akatswiri a maganizo amalingalira, masiku athu ano, vuto lodziwika bwino limapezeka mumabanja amakono kale kwambiri kuposa zaka makumi angapo zapitazo. Tsopano akugwirizanitsa achinyamata omwe atangomaliza phwando lawo la makumi atatu, osati zaka makumi anayi, monga kale ankaganiza. Kufulumira kwa zonse zomwe zikuchitika m'dziko lamakono kumapangitsa kuti anthu ayambe kulingalira za malo awo m'moyo mofulumira. Ndipo chimachitika ndi chiani? Ndipo mkangano m'banja umatuluka.
Chowonadi ndi chakuti pamene mwamuna wa zaka 33-35 akuwona momwe anzake akuntchito akukwera makwerero, amayamba kumvetsa kuti sangathe kuyenda mofulumira. Iye akudziwa bwino kuti sangathe kufika pamtunda uliwonse pa ntchitoyi. Ndipo ichi, mukuona, sichiwonjezera ku chiyembekezo cha munthu.
Mwa amayi, zonse zimachitika mosiyana. Atakhala zaka zingapo pakhomo ndi ana (kapena kugwira ntchito theka la mphamvu chifukwa chomwecho), mayi wa banja potsirizira pake amapeza mwayi wodziwa bwino ndipo amatha mphepo yachiwiri. Zili choncho kuti malinga ngati mkazi wake ayamba kugwira ntchito yotsitsimula, mwamunayo amakumba matalente ake pansi ndikuyesera kuyika mtanda. Kusiyanasiyana kumeneku kumakhala kofunika kwambiri, makamaka kwa mabanja omwe ali ndi chidziwitso, ndipo zingayambitse mkangano.
Ngati nkhaniyo yafika patali, ndiye katswiri yekha angakuthandizeni. Koma ngati mvula yamabingu ikuwonekera pamlengalenga nthawi ndi nthawi, yesetsani kuti musakwiyitse mwamuna wanu ndi chithunzi cha mkazi wamalonda, ngakhale muli amodzi. Pang'ono ponena za kupambana kwanu ndi maluso. Mukufuna kugawana nawo chimwemwe chokondweretsa - kudzitamandira bwino kwa kavalidwe kapamwamba kwambiri komwe mwagula pa nthawiyi! Kenaka yonjezerani kuti pokhala ndi mwamuna wabwino ngati iye, nthawi zonse muyenera kuyang'ana "zana limodzi". Apa pali banja losangalatsa kwambiri ndipo tikukhumba kuti mukhale motalika kwambiri.