Mu malingaliro a anthu, malingaliro anakhazikitsidwa kuti banja losangalala lingakhale ndi kukhalapo kwa ana. Ukwati wopanda ana umawoneka kuti suli wopambana kwambiri. Tsankholi linali lofanana ndi kalelo. Masiku ano, amuna ndi akazi amakonza nkhaniyi mosiyana, popanda kulemekeza miyambo. Komanso, akatswiri ena oganiza za maganizo anayamba kunena kuti maukwati ambiri opanda ana amathandiza kuti achinyamata omwe ali ndi zibwenzi aziwonjezera.
Anthu ayese kukhala oona mtima paokha. Ngati okwatirana sakuona kuti ali okonzeka kulera ana, ndiye kuti banjali liyenera kudzipangira nokha kuti ndiwotani banja lomwe likuwagwirizanitsa. Sikofunika kumvetsera maganizo a achibale, abwenzi, oyandikana nawo ndi maulamuliro m'madera osiyanasiyana, ngakhale olemekezeka ndi olemekezeka kwambiri.
Tikukhala mu nthawi imene anthu amazindikira ubwino wa mabanja omwe alibe ana. Kodi iwo ndi chiyani?
Amakhulupirira kuti ana amalimbikitsa ubale wa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Izi sizili choncho nthawi zonse, ndipo nthawi zina ndi kubadwa kwa mwanayo, ubwenziwo umangoipira. M'banja la anthu awiri, chikondi chenicheni ndi chikondi sizikusowa zina "zopuma". Banja lotero limadziimira okha komanso kwa wokondedwa wawo. Kwa iye ndi maganizo ake, monga mwana wokondedwa. Ndipo nchiyani cholakwika ndi icho? Kukhala ndi wina ndi mzake, anthu amasangalala ndi moyo.
Kodi ndi kudzikonda? Inde, kudzikonda. Ndipo ndani si wodzikonda? Nthawi zambiri ana amakhala osasunthika, kapena ngakhale osayenera. Mimba yosayembekezereka imaphwanya zolinga zonse, zomwe ambiri sazisangalala. Kulera ana, amai (omwe amachita zambiri) amatopa, osagona mokwanira, kukwiya. Izi zikuwonetseredwa mwa ana. Mumsewu mumatha kukomana ndi mayi yemwe akufuula mwanayo, ndipo amamukankhira, kuti potsiriza "atseke". Amayi ambiri amakhulupirira kuti apereka "mphamvu, mitsempha ndi zofunikira zambiri mu kubala ndi kulera mwanayo" iye "amawagulitsa" ku bokosi la moyo. Si zachilendo, amayi akamalingalira za momwe anakulira mwana, ndipo, atakula, tsopano akuyenera kumusamalira.
N'zoona kuti ana abwino samasiya makolo awo. Koma ziganizo zoterozo zimawoneka ngati kudzikonda, ngakhalenso kuwerengera. Mwamwayi, ngakhale chikondi cha amayi mwachinenero chosasangalatsa ndi chosowa (monga chikondi china chosadzikonda).
Pankhaniyi, mbali ina ya ubale pakati pa okwatirana ndi yofunikira. Sikuti munthu aliyense amasangalala ndi maonekedwe a mwana, chifukwa mkazi wake mwachibadwa amamuyang'ana. Izi zimakhudza mwamuna, pambali pake, nthawi zambiri amawona kusintha kwa mbali yoipa ndi maonekedwe, ndi chikhalidwe cha mkazi, chomwe sichiwonjezera pa chikondi chake. Zoona, tiyenera kuvomereza kuti zinthu zoterezi zikuchitikabe m'mabanja omwe sanakonzekere kubadwa kwa moyo watsopano. Ndiye funso likutuluka udindo wa makolo. Koma iyi ndi mutu wina.
Kuyambira pano, munthu akhoza kulemekeza kulimba mtima kwa banja lomwe linasiya ana moona mtima, kusonyeza kuti chiwerengero cha ana ndi chofunikira (ndi angati, osasiyidwa kapena osasangalala ndi makolo amoyo?), Koma udindo wa makolo kwa ana. Ndipotu, kulera ana mopanda malire kumafuna kupereka nsembe. Ndipo ngati palibe chizoloŵezi chopereka nsembe, ndi bwino kusiya kusiya kuswana. Munthu sali nyama, amatha kuthetsa nkhanizi ndikuzikhazikitsa pamalingaliro a zifukwa ndi makhalidwe.
Inde, anthu omwe saganiza kuti banja lawo popanda ana ayenera kulemekezedwa ndi kulimbikitsidwa.
Komanso iwo omwe amaganiza mosiyana, sayenera kutsutsidwa. Izi zimachitika kuti banja losakwatiwa ndilo chifukwa cha matenda a wina wa okwatirana. Ndiye, mmalo movutika ndi izi, okwatirana amasankha moyo wabata opanda ana. Ambiri a iwo sachita mantha ngakhale kuti abwezedwe, omwe ndi udindo waukulu.
Kawirikawiri vuto la maganizo ndi chikhumbo chofuna kukhala ndi ana kuti azikhala ndi ena, komanso osakhudzidwa ndi chidziwitso. Ngati munthu wotero amatsogolera ana, ndiye kuti iwo sadzakhala ana osasangalala, chifukwa sakufuna.
Kotero, ife tinapulumuka ku nthawi yowonjezereka, pamene inu mungathe, popanda kuyang'ana pa ena, sankhani machitidwe awo a moyo wa banja. Ukwati wopanda ana kapena ukwati ndi ana ndizofunikira komanso zoyipa. Muyenera kukhala owonamtima pa zomwe mukusowa ndikutsatira chikhalidwe chanu.