Kodi mizu imakula kuti?
Yoyamba yokhudzana ndi kayendedwe ka maonekedwe a mwanayo mu banja pakupanga umunthu wake inayamba kulankhula Francis Galton, wazakale wa ku England, kumbuyo kumapeto kwa zaka za m'ma 1900. Kumayambiriro kwa zaka za m'ma 1900, Alfred Adler, katswiri wa zamaganizo a ku Austria, adapanga chiphunzitso cha "ordinal positions", ponena kuti mtundu wa kubadwa umatsimikiziridwa mwa kubadwa ndi kukhalapo kapena kupezeka kwa abale ndi alongo (m'chilankhulo cha psychology - abale). M'zaka za m'ma 1970, akatswiri a sayansi ya zamaganizo a ku Netherlands, Lillian Belmont ndi Francis Marolla, adayambitsa chiphunzitso china. Ambiri mwa ana aamuna okalamba, amachepetsa nzeru zake (amati, makolo samapereka chidwi kwa aliyense). Komabe, opanga ma psychologist kudalira kwa dongosolo la kubadwa ndi mlingo wa IQ sanatsimikizire.
Senior: "Mfumu popanda mpando wachifumu"
"Ndipo ine ndinali woyamba kubadwa!" - akutero mkulu wanga, Andrew, ndi kunyada kosadziwika. Pachifukwa ichi amadziona yekha nthawi zonse ndikuphunzitsa abale ake payeso iliyonse. Mukhoza kumudalira, koma nthawi zina amathyola ndodo. Inde, apo, nthawi zina amapereka zolakwika zina za maphunziro. Iye mwini salandira kutsutsidwa. Khalidwe lapadera la mwana woyamba kubadwa, yemwe amadziwanso mphamvu ya chikondi cha makolo (pambuyo pake, anali mwana yekhayo kwa kanthawi), ndi mtolo wa zolakwa zawo, nkhawa, zosadziwika. "Pa mwana wamkulu, amayi ndi abambo aang'ono amayesa kachitidwe ka maphunziro (kokopidwa kuchokera kwa makolo awo kapena awo), kuyembekezera kuti kubwerera kumbuyo ndi zotsatira. Mtsikana wina dzina lake Elena Voznesenskaya, Ph.D., yemwe ndi wofufuza kafukufuku ku Institute of Social and Political Psychology wa National Academy of Sciences of Ukraine, anati: "Mwana woyamba kubadwa ali ngati" blotter ". - Koma wamkuluyo ali ndi "mpikisano" (mbale kapena mlongo), ndipo akumva kuti atayikidwa pampando wachifumu, akulota kubwezeretsa chikondi cha makolo, kukhala wopambana (motero mizu ya munthu wangwiro yemwe ali woyamba kubadwa). Makolo nthawi zambiri amalimbikitsanso chizoloŵezi ichi, kunena kuti: "Ndiwe wamkulu, perekani, khalani chitsanzo!" Kuwonjezera pamenepo, amayi amayi amapatsidwa udindo waukulu woyang'anira mwanayo: chakudya, kuwerenga nkhani zaulere, kuchotsa sukulu, ndi zina zotero. Pano osatengera ntchito za makolo? Ubwino wa akulu umaphatikizapo zilakolako, chikumbumtima, khama pokwaniritsa cholinga: mwambo komanso mwatsopano (woyamba kubadwa amakhala opitiliza bizinesi ya banja). Amapindula bwino ndi anthu, udindo wapamwamba: molingana ndi chiwerengero, theka la a Presidents a United States ndi oyamba kubadwa.
Palinso zophophonya: kudziletsa, chidziwitso, kusagwirizana ndi zolakwitsa (zonsezi ndi zina), kukulitsa kukhudzidwa ndi nkhawa: katundu wa zoyembekeza sizimakupatsani mpumulo ndikusangalala ndi moyo. Ndipo ndi mpando wachifumu! Ufulu wa nthawi yoyamba (mpando wachifumu, katundu) kwa mwana wamwamuna wamkulu wamadziwika kuyambira kale. Mwina mwambo umenewu sunagwirizane ndi zifukwa za anthropological ("kusowa" kwa amuna, moyo waufupi - ndikofunika "kutumiza"), komanso ndi maganizo a mwana woyamba kubadwa (wodalirika, wokhoza kusamalira)? "Inde inde. Mkuluyo kuyambira ali mwana, adakumana ndi kufunika kudzidziletsa yekha ndi ena, choncho apereke m'manja ake zipsyinjo za boma - kusunthika bwino. Kuwonjezera apo, obadwa woyamba, monga lamulo, amalemekeza mabanja, "- anatero Natalia Isaeva, katswiri wa maganizo, wogwira ntchito ku Institute of Consultative Psychology and Psychotherapy. Okalamba otchuka: Winston Churchill, Boris Yeltsin, Adolf Hitler.
Zamkatimu: terra incognita
"Serednyachok" samawoneka ngati abale ngakhale kunja. Iye ali wodekha, wandale komanso wololera, nthawi zonse kukayikira (inu mukufuna ine?). Ichi "chamulungu," komabe, chimamukopa mwachidwi kwa iye: iye amawoneka "wokoma kwambiri" ndi iye gulu la abwenzi. Alfred Adler (pokhala, mwana wachiwiri m'banja) ananena kuti "owerengeka" ndi ovuta kufotokoza, chifukwa akhoza kugwirizanitsa zinthu za akuluakulu ndi achinyamata. Ndicho chifukwa chake zimamuvuta kuti adzipange yekha - palibe malangizo omveka bwino. Pokhala mukupanikizika kuchokera kumbali zonse ziwiri (nkofunika kuti mumvetsere ndi mkuluyo ndipo musalole kuti adzipeze yekha kwa wamng'ono), amamenyera malo ake dzuwa ndipo ayenera "kudumpha pamwamba" kuti azindikire. Komabe, izi zimapereka mabhonasi: chitukuko cha maluso a chikhalidwe cha anthu, diplomatikiti ndi kukhazikitsa udindo wa mtendere, wokondweretsa ena. Pakatikati, kulankhulana panthaŵi imodzimodzi ndi magulu osiyanasiyana (akulu ndi ana), nthawi yomweyo amapita kumlingo woyenera kwambiri - "Wamkulu", omwe, mosiyana ndi "Mayi" kapena "Mwana" angavomereze mosavuta. "Zochita" za pakati - chikhalidwe chokhazikika, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti asakhale ndi vuto lalikulu la makolo (zoyembekezera zambiri, hyperopeak), komanso luso lolankhulana bwino (luso lomvetsera, kukhutiritsa, kukambirana). Zina mwazo "zoperewera" ndi kusowa kwa makhalidwe a utsogoleri kuphatikizapo chikhumbo chakupikisana (nthawi zina, popanda kuyesa kuti ali ndi mphamvu zokhazokha, mwanayo amaika zolinga zopambanitsa, ndipo mwayi wolephera umakula). Chikhumbo chokondweretsa aliyense, nayenso, akhoza kusewera nkhanza zankhanza - kukana kutenga zisankho zosakondweretsa, "ambiri" nthawi zina amadzipweteka yekha. Kuchokera pa ufulu wa mkulu ndi mwayi wa wamng'ono, iye amamva kwambiri "kupanda chilungamo kwa moyo." Golidi amatanthawuza
Akatswiri athu sanagwirizane ndi chiphunzitso chachikhalidwe chakuti malo a pakati ndi otayika kwambiri. Malo a mwana angakhoze kupangidwa ndi makolo omwe sanagwiritse ntchito zovuta zawo zaunyamata, zomwe zimabwereza zochitika "zovunda" kamodzi. Pokhala opanda chikondi ali mwana, tsopano amamupatsa "gawo", ndiye mwanayo ndipo amayenera kumenyana. Mu chikhalidwe changa cha psychotherapeutic, zoterezi sizinachitike nkomwe. Mwinamwake, ndiwo athanzi kwambiri: amangokhala ndi osangalala. Maulendo otchuka: Mikhail Gorbachev, Vladimir Lenin, Gustave Flaubert.
Junior: Pet ndi Sly
Amakhululukidwa onse - pakuwonekera kokongola (ngati khate lochokera ku "Shrek") ndi chifundo, zomwe - satero. Ngakhale kuti si mwana, nthawi zonse amachoka m'madzi. Arseny ali asanu ndipo zikuwoneka kuti sangadzakulire (abale ake a msinkhu uwu anali kale "aakulu"). Ndiye kukhala wamng'ono kumapindulitsa? Ndizovuta kuti ndiyankhe funso lake: "Amayi, ndichifukwa ninji ndinabadwira kwatha?" "Wamng'ono anali ndi mwayi: sanasokoneze" kuchotsa mpandowachifumu "ndipo ali ndi" chidziwitso ", osayeserera kuti aphunzitse ndi kupereka chikondi chopanda malire (" maphunziro kupyolera m'modzi mtima waukulu ", molingana ndi Olga Alekhina). Nthawi zonse amamangidwa ndi chidwi (makolo ndi ana akuluakulu). Ndipo mwachinyengo ichi! Iwo omwe ali okhwima, osadziwa mwachangu amachedwetsa kukhala ("msiyeni akhale wamng'ono"): kupereka ntchito zochepa, kudzichepetsa, kumusamalira zomwe wakhala akuzichita kale. Choncho, kufunikira kwa chinachake kuti mukwaniritse wamng'ono sikokwanira, ndipo kudzidalira nthawi zambiri kumakhala kovuta - kudziyerekeza nokha ndi akulu, mwanayo amataya nthawi zonse. Elena akuthamanga pang'onopang'ono, chinachake sichidziwa kuchita, anavala zovala za abale ake ndi anthu omwe amakayikira (monga Kid, mnzake wa Carlson) kuti izi zidzafalikira ku zinthu zambiri padziko lapansi, "anatero Elena Voznesenskaya. Komabe, udindo umenewu umaphatikizapo kudzitsutsa kwa abale achikulire, nsanje ndi ... zamwano. Wamng'ono nthawi zonse amatha kumenyana (nthawi zambiri kuseri) pa malo ake m'banja. Ndipo kawirikawiri sukulu yake ya moyo ndi yovuta kwambiri. Zosangalatsa za wamng'ono: kusasamala, chiyembekezo, kumasuka kwa kulankhulana. Monga lamulo, izi ndizokakamiza, zomwe zimapangitsa mphamvu kulankhulana ndi anthu ndipo saopa kutenga zoopsa. Mwa awa, ojambula ndi asayansi omwe "adatembenuza dziko lapansi" mwa zomwe apeza ndi omenyana nawo nthawi zambiri amakula (malingana ndi kafukufuku wa mbiri yakale ya ku America, dzina lake Frank Salloway, yemwe anaphunzira za biographies za anthu zikwi zisanu ndi ziwiri za mbiri yakale ndi sayansi). Cholakwika: Kufooka kwaufulu, zomwe zimapangitsa kuswa kwa malire a malo omwe anthu ena ali nawo, komanso mavuto ndi kudziletsa ndi kupanga zosankha zawo, kotero kuti ntchito zawo zowonjezera nthawi zambiri zimakhala "zovuta". Izi zimatsogoleredwa ndi kukhudzidwa kwa achinyamata kuti "ayenera kuthandizira".
Kodi ndi chitsiru?
N'chifukwa chiyani m'nthano ndi wamng'ono kwambiri amene amapeza liwu losasangalatsa? Choyamba, monga Natalya Isaeva akunena, zaka khumi ndi zisanu ndi ziwiri zapitazo, ana onse aang'ono m'banjamo amatchedwa opusa (zomwe zikutanthauza kuwonjezeka kwa naivete ndi ubwana), ndipo Petro Wamkulu anapereka chiganizo choipa ku mawu awa (mawu ofanana ndi opusa). M'bukuli, wopusa amaimira tanthauzo loyambirira - kuphweka kwachinsinsi, choonadi ndi kutseguka. Chachiwiri, ndi mwana aliyense wotsatizana, msinkhu wa zoyembekezera za makolo umachepa. "Ndipo ngati" simusangalatsa ", ndiye kuti palibe chokhumudwitsa - ngakhale kupindula kwambiri kwa wamng'ono kudzakhala" kozolowereka ", - akutero Olga Alekhina. Zikakhala choncho, "mwana" ayenera kukhala wochulukirapo ndi kufunafuna yekha, wosiyana ndi ena, njira yopambana ndi kusasitsa. Pangani chitsanzo, mwachitsanzo. Mayesero omwe Ivan Fool akukumana nawo ndi mtundu wa chiyambi, pambuyo pake akumutengera kudziko la "zazikulu". Phunziro ndi izi: ngakhale kudalira "makhalidwe achibwana" ndikukhala nokha, mungathe kupambana. Akuluakulu otchuka: mwana wolowerera wa Baibulo, Elizabeth Taylor, Bernard Shaw. Lamulo la kubadwa si "chisindikizo chosasangalatsa" chomwe chimatsimikizira kuti chidzachitike. Koma pali mbewu ya choonadi mwa izi: ana, malinga ndi katswiri wa ku France Françoise Dolto, ali ... alibe makolo omwewo. Amayi ali ndi zaka makumi awiri ndi makumi asanu ndi awiri (35) ndipo amatha zaka makumi asanu ndi awiri (35) - amasiyana. Oyambirira amadziwa zokhazokha za amayi, wachiwiri - anzeru. Izi zimachokera kuzinthu zambiri za maphunziro. Zinthu zina ndizofunikira: mlengalenga m'banja, mkhalidwe, kugawa ntchito pakati pa makolo, malingaliro kwa ana ... Ngati zochitika za m'banja zimaphatikizidwa ndi zilakolako za mwana aliyense, timapeza "anthu angati, ochulukirapo ambiri." Ziribe kanthu zomwe iwe umawerenga, chinthu chachikulu ndicho kudzimva wekha pamalo ako. Ndinapempha mwana aliyense kuti: "Kodi mumakonda kukhala wamkulu (pakati, wamng'ono)?" Mwana woyamba kubadwayo anayankha kuti: "Inde! Chinthu chophweka kwambiri ndi chiyani? Mphamvu! "Serednyachok ananena kuti ndi" wapadera "(pali ana ochepa chabe), kuphatikizapo, nthawi zonse amakhala ndi zibwenzi m'maseŵera. Ndipo mwanayo anapempha korona wake kuti: "Amayi, nchifukwa ninji ndinali womaliza kubadwa?" Kenaka anaganiza nati: "Ndimakonda. Ndine wamng'ono kwambiri! "