Popeza tikukamba za chifukwa chake amuna amakana mkazi pachibwenzi, ndiye kukambirana kudzapitirizabe kukomera mtima. Zikuwoneka kuti akhungu ndi zolengedwa zachikondi zomwe zimakonda chikondi, kutentha ndi mtendere. Koma tiyeni tilingalire, kwa mphindi, kuti tidzakhala maola ambiri m'manja mwawo, ndikudompsona, ndikupsompsona. Ndiko kulondola, iye ayamba kukwatulira, kuyesera kuti atuluke. Ichi ndi cholengedwa chomwe chimakonda chikondi. Tsopano tiyeni titenge adani awo - galu, kapena mwana, yemwe, kwenikweni, sali wofunikira kwambiri. Choncho, yesetsani kuchita chimodzimodzi ndi galu. Sichidzatha ngakhale maminiti asanu, timatenga galu, osati galu wotsalira. Tsopano tikuyenera kuganizira pang'ono. Ndikofunika kumuyika mkaziyo, m'malo mwa mphaka, ndi mwamuna - m'malo mwa galu. Panthawiyi, tifunika kuiwala za mikangano pakati pa mitundu iyi, timangokhala ndi zizoloŵezi zawo komanso maonekedwe awo.
Zikuoneka kuti mkazi - amakonda chikondi, osati mochuluka, munthu-mosiyana samakonda chikondi, iye ndi wokwiya komanso osewera.
Nchifukwa chiyani amuna amakana mkazi pafupi? Izi ndi chifukwa chakuti munthu sagwiritsidwa ntchito kuti asokoneze. Uku ndi kugonana kolimba. Ayeneranso kuteteza mtsikanayo, osati kusamala. Kotero ali ndi pakati mwa chirengedwe, koma pambuyo pa zonse, asungwana samasamala kenanso. Amafuna kulankhula ndi mwamuna za nkhani zakufupi, za ubale, ndipo amuna sagwiritsidwa ntchito kulankhula za zinthu zotere, ndipo ndizo.
Momwemo, bwanji, kukakamiza munthu kukulankhulana koteroko? Apa, kachiwiri, muyenera kuganiza moyenera. Pambuyo pake, sikungakhale kuti sakusowa kanthu kuchokera kwa inu. Mwinamwake iye akufuna kuti alankhule nawe, nayenso. Muyenera kupeza kuchokera kwa iye zomwe mutuwo uli. Mukatha kusonkhanitsa mfundo zofunika, muyenera kusankha nthawi yoyenera yokambirana. Ayeneranso kukhala womasuka, mwachimwemwe. Mufunseni kuti ayankhule naye pa nkhani yomwe ikukukhudzani. Nthawi yomweyo amayamba kukana, kunena kuti ali wotanganidwa kapena chinachake. Muyenera kutchula mutu womwe udzakhale wosangalatsa. Iyenera kumveka kuti amvetsetse kuti mukamayankhula naye, akhoza kutenga gawo lake la "zosangalatsa." Nthawi zambiri njirayi imagwira ntchito. Muyenera kudziwa kuti mwamuna ali ndi khalidwe la mwana, muyenera kukhala naye, pafupi ndi mwanayo.
Amuna amakana mkazi poyandikana chifukwa amakana ku zilakolako zawo. Ndipo komabe, poyambirira kusonyeza kuyandikana ndikofunikira kokha pokhapokha panyumba, mwamuna sangasangalale kuti mudzayamba kuchita malo odzaza. Adzakhala wodandaula ndi zomwe ena angaganizire pozungulira, ziribe kanthu momwe izo zikumveka mopusa.
Mfundo ina yosangalatsa kwambiri ndi yakuti amuna sagwirizana nazo mitu yonse. Pali, mwachitsanzo, nkhani zotere, zomwe ndi bwino kulankhula ndi mnzanu.
Ndipo kachiwiri, ngati tibwerera kudziko la zinyama, mwamuna amakana mkazi kumadera chifukwa ali ndi zokwanira. Musayese kukakamiza munthu zomwe ali nazo kale. Zidzakhala zodabwitsa. Ndibwino kuti muchotse mauthengawo kwa wina ndi mzake kwa kanthawi. Ndiye, pamene akufuna kukhumudwitsa, mungapeze zomwe mukufuna poyamba.
Chifukwa chosavuta kuti mwamuna sakufuna kulankhula, koma amangobwera kunyumba kuchokera kuntchito ndikuyang'ana TV, ndikuti amatopa kumagwira ntchito komanso mwamakhalidwe. Panthawi ino iye sali wokonzekera chilichonse, akungofuna kupumula. Muyenera kumupatsa iye, ndipo pamapeto a sabata - kambiranani naye.
Kuti mupumule, mukhoza kupita naye ku cinema, ku resitora, chabwino, kapena kumalo ena onse. Onetsetsani kuti mumufunse zomwe angafune, koma musaiwale za zilakolako zanu. Mulole kuti azisangalala ndi abwenzi ake, kenako amavomereza kuti aziyankhula nanu.
Ngati akutsutsa kugonana, ndiye chifukwa chachikulu apa ndikutopa. Ngakhale izi sizodziwika, chifukwa anthu amayang'anira nkhaniyi. Komabe pali njira yomwe simukumukonda pazogonana, choncho adaganiza zopita "kumbali", zomwe ziri zomveka, ngakhale kuti zikukunyozani.
Vuto lina lingakhale ndi thanzi. Lankhulani naye pa mutu uwu, chifukwa munthu samadziulula yekha, amayesera kubisala vutoli ndikulikhazikitsa yekha, popanda kuthandizidwa ndi ena.
Vutoli linaphunziridwa mosamalitsa ndi chitsanzo cha anthu 4000, pamayeso awa amuna ndi akazi adagwira nawo ntchito. Gulu lalikulu linaphatikizapo okonda, okwatirana, osakwatira kapena osudzulana. Onsewa anafunsidwa funso lokhudzana ndi kugonana, zomwe zimawakopera iwo, ndi zomwe siziwakhudza iwo. Zotsatira zake, banjali linali ndi zotsatira zosangalatsa kwambiri. Monga zinaonekera, penapake pafupi anthu 70% anafunsidwa kukhala limodzi popanda kugonana. Awa ndiwo mabanja okwatirana amene akhala pamodzi kwa miyezi khumi kapena iwiri. Kumayambiriro kwa moyo wa banja limodzi ndi kugonana onse anali abwino, iye, iwo anali, nthawi zambiri, nthawi zonse, palibe chomwe chingakhudze kugonana. Palibe ntchito, nkhawa, osatopa. Koma patatha nthawi, kugonana kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wake kunayamba kuchepa, kugonana, ndi zochepa, anayamba kukhala ntchito yosawerengeka, yomwe idakwaniritsidwira zokhazokha, osati chifukwa cha chilakolako cha kugonana kwa wokondedwa.
Monga tangoganizira kale, pali zinthu zambiri zomwe zimalepheretsa chitukuko chaukwati, njira yokhayo yogwira ntchito ndi chikondi. Muyenera kumvetsetsa bwino kuti kugonana sikungokhala mgwirizano wokondwera ndi matupi awiri, koma ndi anthu awiri okha omwe ali ndi makhalidwe awoawo. Apanso, tibwerera ku chikondi. Pambuyo pake, njirayi imatchedwa yolondola, osati monga momwe ilili tsopano, kuti: "Pangani chikondi", osati "Kugonana." Mlandu wachiwiri umangochitika chabe, koma woyamba ... Mukamvetsetsa izi, ndiye kuti simukuopa kukana kugonana. Chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa chakuti mumatha kukwaniritsa chikhulupiliro ndi kumvetsetsa, zomwe zidzatsatiridwa ndi chikondi chenicheni.