Mwamuna, malinga ndi maganizo a amayi, amakhala ndi chidwi chogonana komanso palibe china chilichonse, zimakhala zovuta kuyembekezera chikondi ndi zibwenzi kuchokera kwa iye. Ndipo anyamatawa, maubwenzi apamtima amayang'anitsitsa malingaliro awo enieni kwa amayi, kudziwa momwe angakhalire ndi osankhidwa awo.
Zimakhulupirira kuti kugonana kovomerezeka kumathandiza amuna kupeza chikondi chenicheni, koma amai, makamaka, amachotsedwa ndi munthu uyu pakapita kanthawi - kuti, atatha kukhala mabwenzi, amadziwana bwino ndikufotokozera zofanana ndikudziŵa dziko lauzimu la mnzawo. Kawirikawiri, panthawi yomweyi, mwamuna akakhazikitsidwa kuti achite zinthu zogwira ntchito komanso akufuna kugonana, mkazi safuna kuchita izi. Zotsatira zake ndizo, "wozunzika" ndi "kuzunzidwa" kuyesera kumvetsa zomwe adachita, kulakwitsa kwake, chifukwa chake amakanidwa, ndikuyesera kufufuza zomwe nthawi zambiri zimakhala zosiyana ndi zomwe zenizeni. Inde, mwamuna amatha kuona chikondi kuchokera kwa mkazi yemwe amamukonda komanso kumukonda kudzera mwachisomo chake kwa iye, koma potsiriza amatha kumvetsa bwino ubale wake weniweni kudzera mu kugonana moyenera ndi wokondedwa wake, pafunso ili yankho la funso - ndilofunika kwambiri pa kugonana - zabwino . Kwa amayi, kugonana muukwati sikofunikira.
Mothandizidwa ndi maubwenzi apamtima, mayiyo amadziŵa momwe iye amachitira chidwi ndi chevalier, momwe amamufunira, momwe amachitira mwachikondi komanso chikondi. Zoona, kufunika kwa kugonana mu ubale kumakhala chifukwa chakuti ndi kugonana komwe kumasiyanitsa ubwenzi pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi kuchokera pachibwenzi kapena chikondi.
Ndipotu, kugonana ndikofunika kwa amayi komanso amuna. Kotero, akuyenera kudziwa kuti chifukwa cha kugonana kwake kwa dona ali ndi tanthauzo lofanana ndi iye, kuti iye, monga iye, amasangalale ndi ubwenzi wapamtima. Kugonana kofunika pa ubale ndi akazi, ngakhale kuti kufunikira kwake kumawonekera pambuyo pochitika zochitika zakukhosi. Zinazindikiridwa kuti amuna, kugonana, atangoyamba maubwenzi, amangofuna kupeza chisangalalo, ndipo kukondana ndi ubale wapamtima kumapanga dongosolo lachiwiri kapena lachitatu. Mtsikana, pa nkhaniyi, akhoza kumva ngati chidole, chomwe chimagwiritsidwa ntchito pokwaniritsa zosowa zakuthupi.
Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti mwa oimira kugonana mwamphamvu, kukhudzidwa kwa chikondi kumaphatikizana ndi kukopa kosasunthika kwa mkazi wokondedwa ndipo kawirikawiri amayesetsa kuchita khama kuti asadzipereke yekha, koma nthawi yomweyo ndi zomwe zimapangitsa akazi kuganiza kuti amasankha iwo amafunikira kokha bedi. Ngakhale zili choncho, ziribe kanthu momwe kugonana kuli kofunika kwambiri, amuna amafunanso chikondi ndi chibwenzi ndi chikondi, mwa amuna okha, chofunika choterocho chifukwa cha kukopa kwa chiwerewere, ndi akazi zonse zimachitika mosiyana.
Choncho, funso ndiloti kugonana ndikofunika kwambiri mu ubale ndizofunikira kwambiri kwa oimira maukwati amphamvu ndi okongola. Pano pali malo omwe kugonana kumakhudza miyoyo ya abambo ndi amai - mosiyana, chifukwa ndi osiyana, osadabwitsa, koma nthawi yomweyo sangakhale moyo popanda wina ndi mnzake.