Pofuna kufufuza ndi kusanthula malingaliro a mmaganizo a amayi ndi atsikana, timayamba kufufuza aliyense payekha, kenako tidzakambirana za kugwirizana kwawo. Choyamba, timaganizira za khalidwe la achinyamata omwe ali ndi zaka 12 mpaka 15, kuphatikizapo kumvetsera khalidweli pa nthawi ya atsikana, tidzawona momwe kudzidalira kwawo, lingaliro la moyo, khalidwe, ndi psyche zisintha.
Kodi nyengo ya kusintha ndi yotani? Tonsefe tikudziwa kuti iyi ndiyo nthawi yomwe imatchedwa "kulumpha kuyambira ubwana kufikira munthu wamkulu," ndipo sizingakhale zofanana kwa anthu osiyanasiyana. Koma m'zaka zapitazi sikungokhala ndi kusakaniza kwa kugonana, kusintha kwa thupi m'thupi, komanso kusintha kwa maganizo ndi chikhalidwe.
Ngati mumatsata Freud, umunthu wa munthuyo umagawidwa m'magulu atatu: I, izo, ndi wapamwamba-I. Ndi chidziwitso cha malingaliro athu, zamoyo zonse, zomwe timagwirizana ndi zinyama, zapamwamba-ine ndi, mosiyana, chikumbumtima chathu ndi makhalidwe abwino, chomwe chimatilimbikitsa kuchita zinthu zazikulu. Ine ndine mkhalapakati, nkhope yathu yeniyeni, yomwe nthawi zonse imatsutsidwa ndi ena. Mbali yapadera ya unyamata ndi mapangidwe a mkati "I", kudziwika kwa fano latsopano. Mnyamata akufuna kudzipeza yekha, kuti adziwe bwino luso lake ndi khalidwe lake, kuti asankhe pa dziko lino. Kuchokera ichi ndi kufufuza choonadi, nthawi zambiri ziweruzo zabodza zokhudza zomwe zikuzungulira iwe, maximalism.
Achinyamata nthawi zambiri amasintha khalidwe lawo - kuyambira akuluakulu, kumvetsetsa ndi kulondola, kukhala achichepere kwambiri, kusinthasintha maganizo kuchokera kuzinthu mpaka kuvutika maganizo, kusintha zofuna zawo ndi zokonda zawo, motero, kudziyang'anira. Nthawi zambiri achinyamata amadzipangira ulamuliro kuchokera kwa nyenyezi, abwenzi, makolo, makamaka fano - wamkulu kwambiri komanso wanzeru, khalidwe lake ndilo loyambirira, losangalatsa kwa wachinyamata. Popanda kukhala ndi makhalidwe abwino, achinyamata amapanga chitsanzo chawo ndi kusintha khalidwe lawo, mau a mawu, manja ndi nkhope. Kawirikawiri, njirazi zimachitika mosamvetsetseka.
Zomwe zimakhalira ndi zizindikiro zidzakhala zapamwamba, kulandiridwa, kulakalaka kuonekera, kuwonetsa kale pafupi kuti adzipange, zomwe zimapezeka achinyamata okhwima. Zili choncho kuti iwo ateteze malingaliro awo, kuti asapereke tsankho ndipo nthawi zambiri amanena izi, akugogomezera kufunikira kwake.
Ndicho chifukwa chake achinyamata nthawi zambiri amakumana ndi mavuto odzidalira nthawi imeneyi, nthawi zambiri - otsika. Amafuna kukokomeza zonse, kuphatikizapo zofooka zawo, kuweruza za maonekedwe awo ndi makhalidwe awo osati zochokera kwa iwo okha, koma ndi maganizo a anthu onse. Kudzudzula ndi kusakhala ndi malingaliro anu enieni ndizofunikira kwambiri kwa atsikana, chifukwa amatha kudandaula za maonekedwe awo.
Chinthu chochititsa chidwi cha atsikana achichepere adzakhala chikhumbo cha ufulu, chikhumbo chochotseratu chisamaliro cha makolo, kudzimasula okha kuchoka ku mbali yawo. Mofananamo, atsikana akuyesetsa nthawi zonse kuti akhale achikulire, pokhala ndi kutsutsana kwabodza. Kusuta, mizimu yoledzera, zodzoladzola zambiri, zovala zazikulu, kugwiritsira ntchito ndalama, kugonana koyambirira - ndi momwe amachitira kuti ayambe kukalamba. Kwa iwo, chilakolako chokhala wamkulu chimawoneka chowopsya, chifukwa akuluakulu amadziwika ngati anthu omwe ali ndi mphamvu ndi kuvomereza.
Chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe zimawoneka bwino kwambiri ndi chiwawa chodziwika bwino, chokwanira chokweza. Powonetsa nkhanza, anyamata angaphunzire kuchokera kwa makolo awo ndikuzifanizira pamtundu wosadziwika. Ngati makolo nthawi zambiri amatsutsana ndi mwana, kuthetsa mikangano mwa kupanikizika, ulamuliro ndi nkhanza, mwanayo posachedwapa adzapeza khalidwe lofananamo. Kukhwima, kusintha kwakukulu kwa chikhalidwe, chilakolako cha munthu wamkulu komanso kukula kwake ndi khalidwe la atsikana achichepere, choncho, nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi mavuto ndi amayi awo.
Ngati tikulankhula za momwe amayi amachitira pa nthawiyi, zimadalira pa ubale wake ndi mwanayo, khalidwe lake, momwe angathe kuthana ndi mavuto ndi mavuto. Kwa amayi ambiri, kukhumudwa ndikuti mwana wake, mtsikana, kuchokera pachikondi chaching'ono ndi wamng'ono amayamba kukhala munthu wina. Ndipo ngakhale kuti makolo ambiri amadziwa zofunikira za nthawi ya kusintha, zimakhala zovuta kuti iwo azisunga zochitika zoterezi. Kawirikawiri, makolo amatsatira miyeso yolakwika ya kulera, kulanga ana chifukwa cha zomwe amapatsidwa mwachilengedwe, kuwonetsa kuti ali ndi mlandu. Khalidwe limeneli ndi lopanda nzeru ndipo lingayambitse mavuto aakulu kwa mwana.
Chidziwikiritso cha ubale wa amayi ndi mwana nthawiyi ndi kutsutsana kwa malingaliro osiyana pa malo osokoneza maganizo. Mayi akufuna kudziwa zambiri za mwanayo, kuti akhale pafupi naye, mtsikana akamamukankhira kumbali yake yaumtima ndikudzimangira yekha.
Maganizo a amayi ndi atsikana ali osiyana kwambiri, koma mukhoza kuthana nawo. Zindikirani kukula kwa mwana wanu, kumutamanda, kumuthandizani kuti apulumuke ndi mavuto a achinyamata, koma osapatsidwa - aloleni akufunseni thandizo, koma ayenera kudziwa kuti mungathe kudalira inu ndikupeza thandizo lofunikira, loyera. Mumathera nthawi yambiri palimodzi, penyani mafilimu, muyende, mukhale pakhomo pakhomo, mupatseni mwanayo njira zosiyanasiyana. Samalani kuti nthawi zonse ankamverera kufunika kwake ndi kufunikira kwake, wapadera komanso wodabwitsa.