Zifukwa zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano pakati pa iye ndi iye zikhoza kukhala zenizeni za chiyanjano chawo: kuchokera ku pilaf osatenthedwa mchere, kukayikira za chiwembu. Asayansi amanena kuti kukangana kumayambitsa kupanikizika kwa onse omwe ali nawo, omwe amakhudza aliyense wa iwo m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Choncho, kuti mkazi akhale ndi mkangano ndi njira yowonjezereka kwa maganizo olakwika, njira yothetsera, ndipo, motero, ntchito yothandiza. Kwa munthu, mosiyana ndi zimenezo, kukhumudwa kumakhala chinthu chofunikira kwambiri kuti matenda aakulu ndi osowa ndipo zingayambitse vuto lenileni. Ndipo chitsutsano ichi chimagwirizana ndi zenizeni za khalidwe la munthu pamene akukangana.
Kotero, kodi chikhalidwe chomwe chimachitidwa mwachinyengo nthawi zambiri chimafuna kugonana kwambiri?
Izi zikusonyeza kuti amuna ambiri amapereka njira zowonongeka pamakangano. Zokwana 100 zokhazokha pa 15 zidzasonyeza kuti zimakhala zachiwawa kapena zimakhala zowawa. Izi zimachokera kwa kumvetsa kwa chikhalidwe chake choyambirira: ngakhale kuti ambiri amakhulupirira kuti amakonda kuika patsogolo pa osankhidwa ake osati m'maganizo, koma mwathupi, munthu aliyense amawopa kuti mkazi wake azivulazidwa.
Pali, ndithudi, zosiyana - amuna omwe amakhulupirira kuti chidziwitso chachisokonezo cha amayi chimapereka chidziwitso chokwanira m'banja. Koma pali amuna ochepa okha, ndipo monga lamulo, ndizo zachiwawa zawo zomwe zimayambitsa mkangano. Ndipo, poopsezedwa ndi kuvulazidwa mwakuthupi, mkazi yemwe ali ndi munthu wotero amayesera kuthetsa kusagwirizana konse, kumumvera iye pafupifupi pafupifupi chirichonse ndipo pang'onopang'ono akupeza kulimba mtima kuti athawire kudziko lopanda phindu losungulumwa pang'onopang'ono.
Mwamuna wathanzi wathanzi mwa mawu enieni amadziopa yekha ndi momwe amachitira zosagonjetsedwa ndi mawu opweteka a wosankhidwa ake pakutsutsana. Choncho, amayamba kuyenda mofulumira kukacheza ndi anzake nthawi yomweyo, akamangozindikira khalidwe la wokondedwa wake, zizindikiro zoyambirira zachabechabe. Kunena kuti ngati sangakwanitse kuthawa mkangano, ndithudi amatengera kuyimilira, kuyesera zosawerengeka kuchokera ku zomwe zikuchitika. Ndipo ngati mkazi ayesetsabe kumuchotsa, amadzifunira yekha njira kuti ziwonetsere zachiwawa. Nthawi zambiri amakhala zinthu zomwe zimagwera m'manja mwa munthu. Kuchokera pano - ndi makoma osweka, ndi foni yam'manja, inaphwanyika pansi, ndi chiwombankhono chodula pamakomo ndi khitchini.
Mbali ina ya khalidwe la munthu pakamakangana ndi kukana kulankhula.
Monga momwe chiwonetsero chimasonyezera, kuchokera pa zonse zomwe zanenedwa panthawi yachisokonezo, 80% amalankhulidwa ndi mkazi ndipo ndi 20 peresenti ndi wotsutsa wake. Komabe, kawirikawiri pa nkhaniyi, mkazi ndi mwamuna amasintha malo: pamene woyambitsa chidziwitso cha mvula ndi iye, osati iye. Ndipo izi zimachitika pafupifupi makangano 36 pa zana. Pankhaniyi, munthuyo amalankhula zambiri, ndipo kuthamanga kwa mawu ake kumadalira kukula kwa mkwiyo wake. Amuna ambiri, zimatuluka, amalankhula mochepetsedwa pamene amakwiya kwambiri. Ndipo monga kutha kwa iwo, chiwongolero chawo chikukwera. Ngati munthu amasintha phokoso lapamwamba kwambiri, ndiye ichi ndi chizindikiro chenicheni chakumapeto kwa mkangano: akhoza kuthawa kuyenda, kapena amangoyendayenda m'chipinda chotsatira, kuthetsa chisokonezo m'mawu ake ochepa.
Kuonjezerapo, mwamunayo, ngakhale kuti ali ndi maganizo osagwedera, akuyesera kuthetsa mikanganoyo. Chimene chimasiyanitsa chidwi chake ndi zomwe zanenedwa. Kumbali imodzi, izi ndi zachiwiri - nthawiyi ndi yolimbikitsa: mawuwa amamupweteka kwambiri kuposa mkazi komanso kugonana kolimba kumasiyana kwambiri. Choncho, mawu osapweteka kwambiri, mu fuse la iwo omwe aponyedwa pa iye, amva, mwinamwake adzakhala mwayi woti abweretse mgwirizano mu ubale wawo. Kumbali inayi, izi ndizopanda nzeru zomwe zimakwiyitsa akazi makamaka. Chifukwa cha iye, ndiye kuti mwamuna ayenera kubwereza kangapo kuti sizinali zopweteka komanso zopweteka zokhazokha, koma adatsatiridwa ndi kupepesa panthawi yomweyo, ndi kusungidwa kumene mawuwa adanenedwa mu fuse ndi kuti panalibe zoona.
Ndipo potsiriza.
Chikhumbo chofuna kusunga zinthu zonse ngakhale panthawi ya mkangano, kapena makamaka - nthawi yeniyeni yowunikira ubale - akutsogoleredwa ndi kuyesayesa kwa munthuyo kuti asonyeze mavuto ake pagulu. Mayi wokhala ndi chilakolako samasamala za zomwe anansi ake angaganizire za iye ndi moyo wa banja lake: chofunikira kwambiri kwa iye ndikumverera kwake panthawiyi. Koma kwa munthu, lingaliro la anthu pa umoyo wake ndi lofunika kwambiri. Choncho chizoloŵezi chodziwika bwino cha amuna chosonyeza malo onse ku galimoto yatsopano ndikubisa zobisika ndi mikangano m'banja. Ndipo vuto lalikulu la mkangano uliwonse pakati pa okwatirana - kusamvetsetsana kwazofunikira - zimayambitsanso khalidwe lachimuna. Mzimayi amayesera kuti mwamuna afotokoze m'maganizo, amadziwe zambiri zokhudza momwe amachitira, kumvetsa za vuto lake lopweteka komanso chifundo. Mwamuna sali wokonzeka kumvetsera zomwe akunena ndi mawu a mkazi mpaka asamachepetse mawu ake.
Kawirikawiri khalidwe la munthu pamakangano limakhalabe lofunika kwambiri. Izi ndizo zimayambitsa zotsatira zake zoipa. Kuletsa kukhumudwa kunja, amatsogolera mphamvu yoipa osati mkati, koma mkati mwake. Choncho, sapeza njira yothetsera zovuta zomwe zimakumana ndi zovuta, vuto la maganizo mwa iye limasonkhanitsa, ndipo zotsatira zake zimakhudza thanzi lake kapena zimayambitsa zida zankhanza kwa abwenzi kapena anthu osagwirizana nawo, chinachake chomwe sichinamukondweretse. Malingana ndi ziwerengero, kutenga nawo mbali amuna kumenyana kosavomerezeka mu 72% ya milandu kumachitika pokhapokha banja lake litasokonezeka pakati pa iye ndi mkazi wake.