Kotero, kodi mumakhala bwanji mwayi wodabwitsa wokongola? Choyamba, nkofunikira kusonyeza chinthu chake, chomwe chimakhala chachikazi pamakhalidwe ake. Kumbukirani kuti kukongola kwa msungwana wokongola ndi wopambana, mu luso lake, kumasiyana mosiyana ndi atsikana ena. Ngakhale ziribe kanthu kuti atsikana angati mumzindawu amavala T-shirt, jeans kapena tsitsi lofanana ndi inu. Chinthu chachikulu chidzaonekera kuchokera kwa anthu ndikukhala apadera. Nazi malamulo asanu omwe angakuthandizeni kuti mupambane osati osati kokha, koma chinthu chofunikira kwambiri ndikumvetsetsa chifundo kuchokera kwa amuna ammudzi.
1. Kodi mtsikana ndi wotani komanso wokongola kwambiri? Kodi nthawi zambiri zimapangitsa bwanji mtima wa munthu kugunda mwamphamvu ndi kukuponyera maso a chidwi? Inde, mawonekedwe awa. Koma pano, ngati gawo lina, titha kale kutembenuka: zovala zanu, chifaniziro, chifuwa, m'chiuno, m'chiuno, miyendo, tsitsi, maonekedwe, tsitsi komanso ngakhale kuyenda kwanu. Choyamba, muyenera nthawi zonse kupereka izi ndikuzigonjetsa. Pano pali, chitsimikizo chachikulu cha msungwana wokongola komanso wokongola. Choncho, onetsetsani kuti nthawi zonse mumasamalira maonekedwe anu, zatsopano zatsopano mudziko la mafashoni, makongoletsedwe ndi zodzoladzola. Kumbukirani, kuti mukhale osangalala, nthawi zonse muziwoneka ngati "ndi singano."
2. Pachifukwa chachiwiri, muyenera kuganizira za "udindo" wanu pagulu. Mudzafunsa, kodi izi zikutanthauza chiyani? Yankho lathu ndi losavuta: khalani ndi abwenzi ochuluka momwe mungathere, musonyeze kuti mukuchitidwa bwino ndi anthu onse oyandikana nawo (anzanu akuntchito, anzanu akusukulu ndi abwenzi omwewo ndi anzanu). Kuti muchite izi, muyenera kukhala wakubala ndi moyo wa kampani iliyonse. Kuphatikizanso apo, mukhoza kupambana pazochitika zina (masewera, kuvina, kuimba, kusewera gitala ndi zina zotero). "Yambani kumalo olemekezeka" muzinthu zomwe mumazikonda. Mwa njira, kumbukirani kuti mutha kusewera "malo" anu mumtundu momwe mumakondera, chinthu chachikulu ndi chakuti zonse ziyenera kukhala m'malire ndi malire a chilolezo. Pano, nkofunika kudziwonetsera nokha bwino komanso bwino. Koma khalani osamala kwambiri, chifukwa izi ndizomwe zimakhalira moyo wanu wonse. Kotero, musamadzilekerere ku izi, ngati mutangokhumudwa ndi kutaya chidwi chonse. Makamaka izi zikugwiritsidwa ntchito kwa anyamata omwe angakuganizire kuti ndinu msungwana wachikulire amene amadzimangira yekha kuposa momwe iye amaimira.
3. Koma kachiwiri, tiyeni tipeze zomwe ziyenera kubisika pambuyo pa chomwe chimatchedwa "chikhalidwe" chanu. Koma pano muyenera kukhala ndi chiyambi chanu chachikazi. M'mawu ena, ndi chikondi chanu, chilakolako chothandiza ena onse mu nthawi yovuta kwa iwo, kuthekera kwanu kukhala ofatsa, opanda chitetezo, ofooka komanso panthawi imodzimodziyo wolimba mwauzimu. Kumbukirani kuti makhalidwe amenewa aperekedwa kwaife ndi ofooka, chilengedwe ndipo sitiyenera kuwakana kapena kuwapewa. Koma dziwani kuti ndizosatheka kukhala ndi moyo kosatha, kudalira pa "zizoloŵezi" zazimayi zokha. Muyeneranso kudziwa bwino luso loyesa ndi makhalidwe abwino. Ndiko kuti, pamene mukuyenera kukhala olimba, olimbika ndi olimba. Ndi chifukwa chake kuti mutha kupambana pa chilichonse, chifukwa chosatenga, kuphatikizapo moyo wanu.
4. Nthawizonse khalani anzeru, malingana ndi momwe muliri, yesetsani maudindo atsopano. Musayese kukhala okoma kwa aliyense. Ngati mukumvera nthawi zonse, muli okoma mtima, mudzaonedwa ngati "dummy". Izi ndi zowona makamaka kwa amuna omwe akuphatikizana ndi chirichonse, adzakuonani kuti mukupezeka kwambiri komanso "zosavuta", motero si munthu wokondweretsa. Kotero nthawizina amayesera kukhala wolimba mtima ndi wodzikonda, kumutsutsa mwamuna. Khulupirirani, apa mutha kulandira ulemu kuchokera ku gawo la chikhalidwe chanu. Kumbukirani kuti munthu amene amatsutsa amakhala wokondweretsa kwambiri kusiyana ndi zomveka komanso zosavuta. Mwa njira, musaiwale kukhala achangu. Nthawi zonse yesetsani, ngati kuti mumalongosola zomwe zikuchitika, musayembekezere kuti mudzabweretsa "chimwemwe pa siliva". Nthawi zonse muzilimbana nawo mpaka kumapeto ndipo ngati mudziwa kuti ndi zanu, pitani kuchigonjetso. Musaope kupikisana ndi ena. Izi zidzakupatsani mphamvu ndikuthandizani kuti mukhale opambana komanso osagwedezeka pazochitika zilizonse.
5. Ndipo lamulo lomaliza la asanu ndiloti nthawi zonse muyenera kukhala osadziwika. Kawirikawiri njira iyi yamakhalidwe imagwira ntchito ndi amuna. Nthawi zonse amakhulupirira kuti angathe kufotokozera mosavuta khalidwe la mkazi. Choyamba, amaganiza kuti ngati apindula ndi mkazi kwa munthu wawo, amatha kuchita zomwe akufuna. Choncho, asiye kukhala ngati mkazi. Mukhoza kukangana pa nthawi yoyenera ndi yosayembekezera. Ndipo, chofunikira kwambiri, yesetsani kuchita zinthu mwanjira yanu kapena momwe moyo wanu ukuuzani. Kumbukirani kuti kusadziŵika kwa amayi sikubwezetsa, ndipo ngakhale mosiyana, sikukongoletsa amuna enieni omwe ali ndi maginito aakulu, koma pambuyo pake amapambana komanso amatha kukhala osangalala.
Kotero ife tafufuza malamulo ofunika, kukongola, kupambana, mwayi ndi chimwemwe kwa mtsikana aliyense. Tsopano, ife tikuganiza kuti inu, pakuziwona izo, mudzakhoza kukhala osangalala kwenikweni, ndi kupambana mu chirichonse, kuti musatenge. Ndipo chofunikira kwambiri, kuti mupeze chimwemwe m'moyo wanu. Pambuyo pake, ndi kwa iye kuti gawo lalikulu la ubwino wa msungwana aliyense limadalira.
Ndipo monga potsiriza ine ndikufuna kunena, ndi nkhani yokha kuti muphunzire kukopa kupambana ndi chimwemwe, kuchigwira icho ndi manja onse. Kumbukirani kuti pansi pa madzi omwe mumapezeka mwalawo simukuyenda. Choncho chitani ndi kudzikonza nokha, moyo wanu, malingaliro anu ndi maonekedwe anu. Mbuye wabwino kwa inu!